Dating a woman 15 years younger may be challenging. Relationships are often difficult enough without additional factors such as age gap. Let’s get to know if such unequal relationships can work and how you can make them work.
Why men choose younger women
Some say it's a matter of biology. The “young female” must give birth easily. These people also pretend that men take mistresses only because they plan to make kids with the ones (!) or that they are under the control of their instincts (although their tastes and preferences vary from era to era), or that a young female should look like a girl in early puberty. If the sexual instinct was to control things, it would take care of the survival of the offspring, that is, men would be attracted to more mature and strong women (preferably those who had already given birth), capable of not only enduring and giving birth, but also raising their offspring. Fortunately or not, in reality, the instinct has almost no effect on a sexual choice.
Others say that it's not so much about biology as about psychology. A real man wants to dominate, and dominating an adult woman is more difficult than a young girl. However, the “real man”, who is able to dominate only a child, looks very doubtful, doesn’t he? Besides, young ladies have more whims, needs, and claims than mature women do. That is, in an older man younger woman relationship the first ones have to patronize and nurse. Besides, if this is dominance, nannies and caregivers are the most dominant professions.
Some say that it is a matter of aesthetics. Youth is attractive: it gives milky skin, tender and soft lines, etc. Aesthetics is, of course, important, but, after all, something that is aesthetically pleasing in one context can be repulsive in another. It's a bit strange when childishness is considered to be aesthetic in an erotic context, isn’t it? Yes, I understand that nowadays it sounds typical, but it's not very cool if you look at it from the standpoint of healthy desires, as well as from the standpoint of law.
Others refer to the energy, which only youth can give! Only dating younger women can give energy, breathe life, warm your cold legs, and those who are older have less strength and more negative experience, and therefore it is often hard and unpleasant to communicate with them. The question remains. Why do lovers of sex with young girls impose that unpleasant communication with themselves? Probably, such men believe that they have something that is more expensive than youth, and women do not.
In fact, all the listed versions, despite their stupidity and simplicity, have the seeds of reason. They cannot explain the crush on a woman 15 years younger completely, but they can give you hunch where to dig.
Dating a 15 years younger woman
What are the reasons for a young girl to choose a man who is 10-15-20 older? So why are women looking for older men?
If we consider the reasons for this choice, it will be hard to find a clear answer to this question. The psychology of each person is individual, and, therefore, the causes and conditions for such a choice are also individual. According to psychoanalysis, a young girl may be dating someone 15 years younger, because she wants to see a father in that man. Let us consider it in details.
A girl of 17-18 years old needs a father's reliability and protection. After all, psychologically she is still the last step before adolescence. On the one hand, she feels like an adult girl, and on the other hand, she is nothing but a big child. If a girl does not receive support and stability in the family, she looks for this very support outside, that is, in older men.
If the girl grew up without a father, or she did not receive much support from the one, then she is likely to seek this very support and care in her future husband. If she finds such a man, then she will definitely choose stability. When girls lack attention from their parents, they suffer in the future. After all, if she is 15 years younger than me, I can give her what she lacked.
Along with support and care such girls may search for a spiritual “father”, a guide and a mentor to their spiritual world.
Should I ask her to marry me? What dating a woman 15 years younger should result in eventually?
Let's start with positive moments in the unequal union when a man is over 15 years older than his lady.
The man, as a rule, is a completely formed personality. So, what can he give to the girl? First of all, it is an experience. Experience in everything, in many vital issues, matters, in intimate affairs. A man can lead a girl, give her, as mentioned above, stability and support.
If we consider the negative side, it is, first of all, rigidly fixed roles: she is a daughter, and he is a father. When a man is dating a girl 15 years younger, he is sure that he knows the best way to protect his beloved, and can take care of her like a father. As a rule, there is no development in such relations. The girl wants to grow, but a man cannot perceive her as an adult, he considers his wife as a little girl. It may end up with a conflict and crash the marriages.
How long does the marriage last?
Of course, there are cases when the spouses can keep the family hearth for a long time, but this is more likely an exception. The difficulties also arise because a man and a woman, who are in different environments (according to their age), rarely have common interests and joint leisure can cause boredom or even misunderstanding. However, there are exceptions.
Older man younger woman relationships - do they actually work nowadays?
In what cases do women decide to marry men who are much older than they are? And what does “much older” mean? Does dating a woman 15 years younger mean that you are much older? Some believe 5 years is a big difference already, but others enjoy being with a mature partner 15 years older. Everything is simple. Love is considered to be the first reason for such couple to exist and get married. No matter what, an adult man can easily fall in love with a young virgin. They have experience, courage, wisdom, self-confidence, and even excessive insolence, they know exactly what they want and take it. The second reason is self-interest. This one is clear. Few will refuse a successful and rich boyfriend, albeit with wrinkles and gray hair.
Despite various reasons that bring such lovers together, there are some common mistakes in such relationships. So, how can I make things work if my girlfriend is 15 years younger than me?
Underestimating your partner
There are a lot of rules in romantic relationships, which are applicable in military strategy and tactics. For example, underestimation of a partner. Women who are younger, more energetic and more obstinate than their partners, for some reason are very confident in themselves and their strengths. And sometimes they take off too high, they do not even notice how they lose respect and interest in the eyes of their beloved. Excessive self-confidence can underestimate your partner. And at the most unexpected moment, the man leaves. Yes, yes, yes ... the one who is 10 years older, who has gray hair and a stomach ulcer. Conclusion: age is not an obstacle or a stopper for a man. A man can change his life, his woman, and his family at any age. Yes, it's sad, but this is how the world is created. Men are easier to tolerate gaps and faster at decision making.
Making your partner jealous
Another common female mistake is to provoke jealousy in relationships with older men. Sometimes a girl is worried about the passing passion in a relationship. Anxiety about the evaporated interest, the coldness, and even indifference, does not give rest. And then, the first thing that comes to mind is to make a man jealous. Of course, “I'm young, beautiful, while he is old and not as good as he used to be!” Do not use such a tool ever. Adult men are experienced: they immediately understand everything and draw conclusions. The result of such techniques is rarely a “happy end”. Conclusion: jealousy is not the best lever to press.
The youth is not a problem, the perception is
When a man makes a hard decision to unite himself with a young woman, he certainly does not expect her reproaching his age over time. Some women entertain themselves with illusions that he will not get any younger than they are. If a man can successfully realize himself in a relationship with the age difference of 10 years, then 15 and 20 years will not be a problem for him. Therefore, do not raise this sensitive matter too often.
In compliance with the requirements
Saying Yes to a marriage with an older gentleman, the girl may have certain requirements. For example, a healthy reaction to her young antics and harmless pranks. While the man has every right to be loved and respected together with his peculiarities. An adult experienced male is most likely to have his own attachments, values, and stereotypes. Therefore, both should respect their peculiarities.
Dating a younger woman pros and cons
First of all, a man dating a young girl faces a lot of difficulties and challenges. The first and main problem is fear, a girl has thousands of questions in her head; “Why did he choose me?”, “What to do with it?”, “How can I interest him?” The task of the guy in this situation is to gain confidence and explain her love what does he expect from her and prove his love but not only words but actions. It is hard to believe for a girl that you could choose her for anything other than for her young body and beauty. So in the beginning, you will have to prove your feelings for a girl to believe you.
There is no need in building the air castles anyways, by swearing you will love her eternally and propose her to get married, do not forget, girls at an early age are very naive.
Another problem you will face: the fear of being intimate and open about her sexual desires. Although sex is a natural transition to another stage of relationships, a sign of getting closer, the younger a girl is, the more serious she is about sex, and chances are she will not allow you most things you will do with the women of your age in the first day of the meeting. Just remember that she needs time to open to you and this is especially important while talking about sex.
Contrary to this arises the huge benefit of dating a younger girl, the less experienced a girl is in the bed, the less anxiety she gives her lover to think about her past. The sincerity and naivety, which young girls are full of, can return the man to the time of his youth and first love, inspire insane deeds and awaken a whirlwind of emotions.
On the other hand, one of the most difficult type of relationship arises for couples with a difference of 10 years or more, because such partners should not forget about such factors as public opinion, a different circle of communication, different interests, different views on life, and people with such a difference belong to different generations.
Such relations require constant work and concessions on both sides, but this all does not matter if the feelings are real. The partners in such couples can form a perfect combination of youth and experience, intelligence and enthusiasm, beauty and wisdom. So if they are ready to face some troubles because their love is true, they will get over any arguments and public prejudice.
Most of the girls that took part in a survey concerning relationship with a big age gap and have chosen a relationship with a 10 or more year difference in the age, a man being older, said that they needed not only a man but also, to some extent, a dad in the form of this man. They want to receive not only family care and quality sex from him, but also fatherly love, which apparently they did not get in their childhood. Naturally, relations with such a difference in age are condemned in society, and it is believed that girls enter such relationship only because the money benefits or other profit for them, so this can use a lot of inconveniences and even cause a couple to hide their love or not being able to open their heart to the partner fully.
Such relationships are also fraught with the fact that, after all, men live less than girls and, accordingly, your relationship can last less and a girl will have to deal with the death of her spouse being not that old yet herself.
If a possibility of starting a relationship with a big age difference occurred in your life, you should remember that our lives are short, which means that the time you spend together will be not as long as you would wish for. This will be another big con.
If to add a few statistics, men who marry young women live longer according to demographic statistics studies. And if a man marries a woman that is 15 or more years him younger, the probability of his death at an early age is reduced by 1/5.
10 Most Important Rules Of Dating Younger Women
1. A man should be in charge
This rule generally works well for most couples, but it is especially important if we are talking about a couple with a solid difference in the age where the man is older. Not because you owe something to someone, but because if you take the initiative your relations will develop easier and faster with both partners showing their greatest strengths. A man is already wise enough, has life experience - it will be easy for a woman to obey him and admit him being the big one stirring the wheel.
2. Cut off any signs if jealousy
Jealousy has always been a sign of weakness. And, if a young and inexperienced man feels jealous this is understandable, but for a serious man, this is unacceptable. Well if you cannot keep your woman with you by using other means, arguing and showing off aggression will not help. It will only destroy the image of a strong and confident man and make the girl question whether she wants to put up with such control and limits.
3. Respect her interests
The typical mistake of an older man is to start laughing at the hobbies of your younger beloved. She is probably at her peak of the self-search and her desire for self-development rises from day to day. All sorts of meditations, a change of religious beliefs twice a month, a change of image three times a day, hormones still boiling in the blood make her to join some get-together, a subculture of “truly understanding people,” and also daily meditations, going to the astral before breakfast, writing poems, playing the violin, playing sports, growing domestic cucumbers, building up ships in bottles — this is just a short list of what a young person at that age can do just for fun or to try something new. This may seem ridiculous to an adult that had gone through all these stages long ago and he may even have the folly to demonstrate this, making things only worse as his beloved one will no longer consider him the indulgent, understanding and wise companion.
4. A lover, not a mentor
Give fewer instructions in general. Do not forget that you are there to have sex and show love, so do not get involved in pedagogy. The desire to teach her a lesson will make you look old and dull.
5. Be an altruist in bed
It seems surprising to many, but girls get much more pleasure from their older partners than from their passionate and hyperactive peers when it comes to sex. This is all thanks to this experience, an older man knows how to make his girl experience real pleasure. But to reach such a result you will have to work twice as hard and forget about your own pleasure at moments, not even to mention that you will have to be extremely active to be on equal terms with your young partner. In other words, a man must be an altruist.
But at the same time, it should be him who carries out the leading role in sex, he is in charge, he sets the pace and rhythm, and the woman obeys.
6. Do not try to hang out with her friends too much
Trying to attend a student party in all its glory will remind a man of his age. Who are these people? Why are they so stupid? What are they all talking about? He will feel like a mammoth at the nano-technology exhibition. Trying to get involved in her life, it is better to stay away from getting into her company - it will not bring any positive result. It is better to look out for mutual friends or attend mixed parties and events where people of all ages get together.
7. Forget about the age
A little self-irony never hurts. But it is worth a little to overdo it and it will become clear to everyone that the problem of the difference in age is really bothering you, so be very careful with jokes about this. Just treat the situation as if you are peers and do not pay too much attention to the age as it is just the number of years.
8. Do not try to look younger
The worst mistake for a man will be making an attempt to look younger. Trying to recall the youth, to copy the modern trends you know nothing about, or even worse dressing up as you used to when you were at her age. All this looks terribly ridiculous, so forget about it immediately.
The only real way to become a little younger is to play sports and stay in shape. Lose some weight, begin to eat healthier, make friends at the gym and you will not only look but feel naturally younger.
8. Making her feel boring
A girl may be afraid of being not interesting for a guy. If she is younger she understands that you have a bigger life experience and absolutely other problems or topics for a discussion. So you should never ask her questions about her work, politics or topics that are appealing for you but you feel she knows nothing about, keep neutral topics for conversations.
9. Too many gifts
Buying your beloved too many presents will only lead her into thinking you treat her as a gold digger and try to buy her feelings. This behavior can scare her, so be careful with serious propositions about traveling abroad together or buying her an expensive gift.
10. Do not try to boast or dominate
Building a relationship with a younger girl is not so difficult. A man should just always remember that he is successful, experienced, accomplished and an advantage anyway, so it would only do worse if he emphasizes on it himself making a girl look stupid or less successful.
Summing up, couples, where a man is older, is more common than those where partners are the same age or where a girl is older. According to statistics in 85% of couples, a girl is younger than a man - this is an indicator of the success of such relationships, most often the guys do not even have the question “why fell in love with a girl younger than me” this is perceived as something natural, consider other advantages: If a girl is young and not experienced, a man can give her life advice and bring himself a perfect wife, while this trick may not work with most adults who already have experience of serious relationships.