07.12.2018

We are accustomed to talking about love with serious faces. We are accustomed to using heavy philosophical statements, to recalling classic literature and to quoting sad love songs. But let's look at love as something very funny. Romantic relationships are an inexhaustible source of jokes. The comedians, thanks to whom we can at least sometimes talk about life in all its manifestations without arrogance and earnestness, understood this and actively use the theme of love and relationships for their works. In this article, we have collected the most accurate and funny statements about relationships, most of which are relevant to each of us. If you are in a bad mood, you had a quarrel with your better half or you just want to smile, read these quotes. Life will immediately become more fun and more enjoyable!

Funny relationship quotes

Funny Love Quotes That Perfectly Describe Your Relationship

Check out our favorite funny sayings about love:

  • “Before you marry a person, it would be nice to know more about his or her character. Just make him or her use a computer with a slow Internet!”
  • “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just accurate.”
  • “Marriage and relationships are great! After all, now there will always be a person who you can annoy.”
  • “You can easily see if a person loves you. If you write "I love you" and receive emoji in return, you may need to immediately end your relationship with this person.”
  • “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”
  • "I'm now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt."
  • “I often hear from my friends that I have a problem of an intimate nature ... I'm not sure that they know me so closely.”
  • “Everyone says that honesty is the key to the safe where perfect relationships are stored. Well, it is, especially if you can fake it!”
  • "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
  • “You know, things with cheating are really bad. Seventy percent of men cheat in America. The rest do it in Europe.”Funny quotes and sayings
  • “I have always said that you need to look for a mate among peers. When women’s beauty begins to fade, the same thing happens with the vision of men.”
  • “All around are looking for guarantees. If you also need a guarantee of love, why don't you marry the engine of your new car?”
  • “Being a husband is the same as being a psychologist. After 10 years of practice, you can call yourself a beginner!”
  • “I do not need condoms to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. I just leave the lights on in our bedroom.”
  • “A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt”.
  • “Mental disorders can be very pleasant. Love is one of them.”
  • “Love is very similar to back pain. The doctor says that an x-ray revealed no problem, but you definitely know that it is there.”
  • “Women do not cause any problems. All they need is water, food and some compliments.”
  • “30 pounds is what distinguishes a boyfriend from a husband.”
  • “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love”
  • “Love is the ocean. The ocean full of emotions and expense.”
  • “You know, I love you very much. Even more than coffee on Monday morning. But please don't make me prove it.”
  • “Love is all we need. Well, and a bit of chocolate. And pizza, of course.”
  • “I had excellent mental health. I solved complex equations faster than Einstein. I confidently moved up the career ladder. And then I fell in love.”
  • “Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.”
  • “Once my girlfriend was afraid of the dark. One day she was so frightened that I jumped out of bed, completely naked, and turned on the light. Now she is afraid of the light.”
  • “I knew a guy whose wife made him quit smoking, drinking, playing poker and eating fatty foods. He was completely healthy that day when he shot himself!”
  • “Do you know what a relationship is? This is an endless attempt to find out what you want to eat for dinner. Until death do you part.”
  • “Recently, I realized how little I earn. My wife takes all my salary and in return I get a sandwich (sometimes), an apple (every morning) and a clean shirt.”
  • “My girlfriend advised me to go to an anonymous meeting of premature ejaculators. I left there before anyone else.”
  • “Stop waiting for the prince on a white horse. Perhaps the poor fellow needs help. He got lost, got stuck in a swamp, or other girls attacked him.”
  • “To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.”Funny sayings about love
  • “Many girls are offended that men do not remember when they have an anniversary. I know how to solve this problem - get married on the birthday of his best friend.”
  • “Marriage is sheer disappointment. The girls are waiting for their men to change, but this is not happening. Men hope that their girls will not change, but it always happens.”
  • “Women need a great excuse to have sex. Men suit any place for this.”
  • “You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet. But it’s ok.”
  • “Women so often complain about men for the reason that they have no taste for men. It's simple.”
  • “You're like craft beer, pizza and milk chocolate - you make this life better!”
  • “Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.”
  • “Archaeologists are the best husbands. Over the years, they love their wives even more!”
  • All these funny quotes and sayings can make laugh anyone. Consider that you are provided with sparkling quotes for more than a month, buddy. Funny relationship quotes will make your life better!

Relationship Quotes That Inspire You to Surprise Your Couple

  • “There is nothing better than to find a person who needs only one thing from you - your company.”
  • “There can be no rules in love except one. Never let your soul mate feel lonely. Especially if you're around.”
  • “Love isn’t about perfection. It’s about honesty and understanding.”
  • “True affinity usually starts from afar.”
  • “Love is the universal energy of life, which has the ability to turn evil passions into creative passions.”
  • “What are the thirty million if they cannot buy a walk in the mountains with my girlfriend?”
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