When we are young and inexperienced, we imagine the best scenario of our future relationships. We believe that we will meet our significant others at once, start a family, and live happily ever after. However, unfortunately, the reality is different sometimes, and first, we get through numerous stages and take knocks before the very meeting with our soulmate. It may also happen that a girl who meets almost all your requirements has a kid with another man, even though they are not together. It’s when you have to decide whether you are ready to start dating a divorced woman with a child. It’s not the easiest question even if it seems you don’t mind dating a woman with a child. However, most men are convinced that they cannot date a girl with kids because they are not able to accept and love someone else’s baby. But life has a remarkably interesting sense of humor. Today, you are sure that it’s not your cup of tea, and tomorrow you find yourself in love with such a woman, and you are ready to do everything for her.
Stereotypes About Dating a Woman with Kids
Any relationships have many crucial moments that don’t allow partners to stay together. And the presence of a child complicates the situation and changes priorities. Marriage statistics tell that most of the couples break up. Spouses segregate property and children and try to get back into the dating scene again. However, a woman with a child is no longer considered such a fairly good catch. The number of single mothers continues to grow steadily. And sooner or later, you may start dating a girl with a baby. Many guys who start relationships with single mothers are perceived by others as desperate superheroes since usually, men state something like, “Why should I raise someone else's child who will not even look like me?” It’s necessary to add here that a woman may have older parents, a dog, or a cat. In general, a woman with a child is shrouded in a swarm of different stereotypes. In fact, most of them are caused by far-fetched fears and have no rationale.
Stereotype 1. A woman with a child is a gold digger
A woman with a child managed to exist before your appearance in her life. Maybe she has good alimony, or maybe she has learned how to make good money herself. And girls who are looking for a sugar daddy have Instagram profiles full of selfies in luxury toilets and their open designer blouses show silicone breasts.
Mercantilism does not depend on the presence of a child in any way, but it is always accompanied by a lack of good upbringing and decency. The main thing is to pay more attention to what a girl is talking about, and not to the length of her legs.
Stereotype 2. You cannot raise a kid because they have a father
Unfortunately, many fathers delete their children from their lives after a divorce, as if it is the solved point on the list of planned tasks. They do not take any part in the upbringing, sedating their conscience with regularly paid alimony and chatting on Skype. Everyone has different situations and their own reasons to behave this way. The fact is that ending a relationship with a woman, a man, as a rule, moves away from the child.
Stereotype 3. A someone else's child is an alien with whom you do not know what to do
Many men are afraid not to find a common language with the children of the women they like. It can be difficult to find a common language with the mother-in-law. However, you can find an approach for all children without exception. What to do? Play football, braid dolls, build sandcastles, construct planes, watch cartoons, catch bugs, and study birds, go to various interesting exhibitions, and make jokes together.
Children very subtly feel lies, they do not tolerate hypocrisy and pretense. And, on the contrary, even the hardest character responds to respect and sincere interest. Of course, it may take a child time to get used to the new conditions. But even the most frightened hedgehog hides their horns when they see a manifestation of real concern and participation.
Stereotype 4. You will never love someone else’s kid
Couples who have their children and decide on adoption go through seven circles of hell, collecting numerous documents and certificates. And when the child finally enters the family, they experience a long and painful period of adaptation with them. If, after a few years, they are asked who they love more - their own kids or foster children, they will not be able to answer this question. A kid brings happiness, even if their blood does not have your DNA, and they have learned to take the first steps and speak without you. The child will teach you to rediscover this world: rejoice at simple things, believe in miracles, and notice the beauty around. Love doesn’t depend on DNA. Love is an action, it is a consciously made decision to give, not expecting anything in return.
Things You Need to Know About Dating a Single Mom with a Toddler
If you are going to register on a website to meet single moms, then you should know about certain things and consider several factors that may play a crucial role in your searching.
- She is experienced. She knows perfectly what a man needs and gives it in full. Communicating with her is easy and enjoyable. She knows how to give you what you want so much. Unlike girls “without a past,” it’s easier with her.
- Very often, such girls watch their appearance carefully and work hard to have a great body.
- She knows her body, she knows men's desires, and she has various sexual features. Such a girl can easily hook a man even if she has a kid.
You should clearly understand your goals, being in a relationship with a woman who has a child.
Parties, sex without obligations, spontaneous meetings are not for her. As a rule, a girl with a child has a very tight planned schedule, a lot of obligations, and, of course, a huge responsibility. She lives in a tough regime, in which you may not fit. Besides, if your goal is just sex and hanging out, she might have completely different priorities.
If you have a crush on a girl with a child, and you are sure that she is your soulmate, then why not give it a try? Yes, of course, you will face difficulties that you would never have with an ordinary girl. But if you have strong feelings, then it is worth it.
Reasons for Dating a Woman with Kids
Many guys fear to become responsible for a woman with a kid who has already got through a toxic or just unsuccessful relationship. They believe that such a relationship will fail because a kid will become a too heavy burden. However, do not rush to break up with a woman who has a kid because such girls have many pros and differ from young ladies who haven’t faced serious life situations. So, what are the main benefits of dating a single mom?
1. She knows how to create a committed relationship
She does not chase rainbows or build castles in the air, believing that everything should be easily between people. She knows well that both of you should work hard on a relationship, look for compromises, put up with drawbacks, or don’t start anything if there are serious deal-breakers.
2. She is not going to become pregnant right after the wedding
Even though modern youth seems to be so progressive, most women in their 20s still believe that they should become pregnant as soon as possible if they have already got married. Few decide to postpone pregnancy. When you date a woman with a child, nobody will force you to become a daddy. You can take time to get used to each other, and only after that plan pregnancy.
3. You can learn how to communicate with a child
She has a kid, and you will have to communicate with them somehow. Even though it's still not the same as having your own kid, you will learn something new. You will move in together, and you will participate in the upbringing process if the woman wants it. And even if the child communicates with their dad, you will become an important person in their life.
4. You will find a common language with her family
If you are a mature and responsible person, then you will easily find a common language with her relatives. Some things never change. And if most people don’t see any problems with the fact that some women raise kids alone, then the older generation still feels bad about it too much. So, if you take responsibility for a woman with a child, you will probably be praised and respected.
5. She will openly voice complaints instead of making hints
She already made hints in previous relationships and understood that this behavior would not contribute to meeting the challenge. Now she is ready to have a dialogue, listen to you and hear as well as explain her point of view and what she wants to get instead.
6. She is a mature personality
She already knows her desires, and she knows what she wants in relationships, as well as with whom she wants to live her life. So, if you want to simplify your life, look for tips for dating a single mom. Anyway, a girl who has no life experience and has never been in relationships can become a real challenge since she doesn’t know what she wants and whether you suit her.
7. She seeks an equal relationship
She is not interested in sponsors. She raised a kid without you, and she is unlikely to stand still and do nothing in a relationship with you. Of course, it will be easier to live with a partner and get help at least with something. Communicate, try to get to know her better, get along with her kid and think about whether you can treat her as a beloved woman, and not as someone else’s ex-wife.
How to Date a Girl with a Child
The best way to meet single moms is to use online dating sites since most busy people use them to meet their potential partners. If you are interested in a woman with a kid, you may have many different questions connected with that. You may torment yourself with doubts since you don’t know the rules for dating a single mom. What to do if you have a crush on such a woman? Well, if you are a responsible man who can boast of spiritual kindness, then first, you should learn red flags when dating a single mom to not find yourself in an unpleasant situation. That women are brides with special “knowledge.” How to date a girl with a child and what to expect this relationship?
1. Recognize that dating a single mom is different from dating someone without kids
First, it may seem that there is nothing special about dating a girl with a kid, and everything will not differ much from usual dating and courtship. However, it is a big misconception because while an ordinary girl can do whatever she wants, and she can allow herself to be carefree, then the situation is different when you have a kid. You don’t belong to yourself to the full extent, and you should always remember about a little person you are responsible for. Thus, how to date a single mom advice will suggest remembering about this difference and don’t behave egoistically.
2. Realize you won't be the first priority
Sometimes men behave like small kids, who believe that a woman (mom) should forget about everyone else and devote all her time and energy only to them. And many girls agree on such a scenario and try to do their best to provide their men with a lot of gentleness and care. However, when a girl has a kid, man will hardly become her first priority. It’s a rare case. So, don’t expect that you will become the most important person in her life because this place is already occupied by her baby. And all her decisions will be connected with her kid one way or another; thus, if her kid gets a cold, she will cancel or postpone your date. So, you will take a backseat in most such cases.
3. Be patient and do not rush
When you fall in love with someone, you subconsciously want to get the best out of it right now. You don’t want to meet from time to time but wake up in the same bed, hugging and kissing each other in the morning. Thus, you may be in a hurry to meet with her kids and move in together or at least sleep over from time to time. However, you will meet her kid only when she is ready for that. Everything will not develop at the speed of light because she should make sure your relationships may have a future. And if you try to speed things up, you can be stonewalled.
4. Don't waste her time
If you are not ready for anything serious, and your plans don’t include committed relationships because you are too young and windy, or you don’t want to leave your bachelor’s status, then stay away from this woman. There are many single girls without kids who are looking for light relationships without obligations, so they are perfect options for a one-night stand. But if you behave as if you are ready to accept her kids and become a family just to have sex with her and disappear right after that, it’s too cruel and unfair.
5. Ask about her children
Every mom loves her kids and is proud of their small achievements even if its about drawing an ordinary children’s picture. So, she will be always ready to share something about her little angel. And if you want to win her heart, don’t forget to show interest in the life of her children. She will be pleased to hear such questions because it will show her that you understand the whole seriousness of the situation and accept her kid.
6. Love her
She has already got through many difficult periods in her life, and now she wants to become not just a mom but a beloved woman. She needs to feel care and support, so don’t forget to arrange pleasant surprises and show her how dear she is to you. If she feels your love, you will be surrounded even with more care and tenderness. Women who have kids know not only how to accept but also how to give love back.
7. Avoid disciplining her children
Even though you should participate in the upbringing process of her kid, don’t cross the line when you just try to discipline a kid instead of teaching them something or showing them how to do or behave right. Children copy the behavior of grownups, so you should better become a role model and a great example to follow. It’s especially true if your woman maintains a relationship with her kid’s dad, and the latter one actively participates in the life of his child. So, you should become the best friend of a little kiddo.
8. Offer emotional support
It can be difficult with children especially if all other spheres of life leave much to be desired. So, the best thing you can do is to offer emotional (and maybe even physical) support in the time of need. She will appreciate your attitude and get the required charge of energy. We are all people, we get tired and become annoyed sometimes, and it’s okay, but it is also great when there is someone ready to lend a helping hand.
Are You Ready to Date a Girl with a Kid?
Nobody says that it will be the easiest thing you have ever faced, but everything will depend on your feelings and how much you are ready to start a committed relationship and share responsibility for someone else's kid. If your feelings are sincere and true, and they are not the result of your imagination, then you will be able to meet any challenge on the way to your happiness.