Too Much Texting in a Relationship: Why Does It Happen?
Have you ever been in a situation when a partner is constantly flooding you with messages? Texting at the beginning of a relationship is important, your love is fresh and there is no such thing as dating and texting too much. Of course, at first, such intense attention is very pleasant, texting in a new relationship brings joy, but if the messages come too often at the most inappropriate moments, and a partner is offended by the fact that you do not answer them, this situation begins to strain a little. It is necessary to understand why this is happening. There are several reasons why a partner would constantly send you text messages.
Your partner lacks communication
People, especially at a young age, often idealize their loved ones. A young boy is in love with a girl and is texting her too much because of it. The feelings are overwhelming. In this case, the rest of the world seems to fade for them and cease to exist. The only thing that matters is the object of romantic interest. A partner becomes the center of the universe and takes all of their attention.
Not surprisingly, by limiting his/her contacts with other people, he/she suffers from a lack of communication, which he/she tries to compensate with the beloved. There is only one person left in the world, so every single piece of news goes in only one direction.
Whatever it is, a partner enters a vicious cycle, in which loneliness creates more loneliness.
It is frankly rare, but it may happen that a partner is simply addicted to texting, to social media or social networks, whatever is the case. Again, it is rare and could be debated if there is such a thing or not, but do not throw it out the window.
Is Texting Everyday Too Much?
Is texting everyday too much? Well, if you are working a regular job, then yes, obviously it is, there is no threat to your life or anything interesting that may happen on a daily basis. However, consider the following reasons for texting every day that we’ve found while looking through female forums, as they are, most often, those who text their partners way too much (it rarely happens with guys). We do not claim these to be idiotic or anything like that, yet we leave it for you to decide which of these reasons are rational, and which are not. What’s important is to see things from the opposite perspective.
1. Because it is not always convenient to call. For example, the most unexpected ideas and words pop up into my head at the moment when there is no possibility to call. Text, in this case, helps not to lose a good thought and to immediately share it with someone. In addition, the one to whom the text is addressed also cannot always answer an incoming call. Text is a way to convey some thought or information quickly and without prejudice to work or important matters.
2. Because not everything can be said. Many girls, because of their shyness prefer to write a text message, especially when it comes to important and secret things, and they are afraid to speak about it. This way, it is easier to share emotions and thoughts. However, the interlocutor's reaction is not immediately known. This gives the effect of some kind of psychological torture, which makes the heart beat faster, and the brain work on the extreme possibilities. A surge of adrenaline at this moment equates to one parachute jump.
3. Because it's easier to communicate this way. Many girls constantly write text messages just because it is easier for them to communicate like that. It is always possible to delete what’s been written before sending it. In a conversation, unfortunately, you cannot do it. Some girls carefully think through each message before sending it, others scribble everything that comes to mind, and only then they think, try to correct it, switch the dialogue into a joke.
4. To reread later. Over time, conversations are erased from the memory. Text messages can disappear from the phone only when the owner removes them. Many girls write text messages only in order to re-read very important points again and again. This is a certain weakness that a girl can be “cured” of by hearing beautiful and tender words in her address every day. Then the need to re-read especially romantic messages will disappear.
5. Not to be clingy. This is from the field of jokes and anecdotes about female logic: if you call, it means you are clingy. And texts – they aren’t serious. Many girls that agree with this constantly write text messages instead of calling once.
6. For the purposes of economy. Many mobile operators offer packages of free internet traffic at the best price. This encourages girls to write these messages and not to call the interlocutor. In addition, minor texts do not distract anyone, unlike calls that have no purpose (for example, texts like: “I broke a nail, I am sad”). Dialogue on this topic does not carry a semantic load, and texting is a way to share your “sadness” with someone else.
How much texting is too much to a guy differs from how much texting is too much to a girl. The cases may differ, yet at least now you know the general reasons why such behavior may take place.
Texting Too Much: Clingy or Not?
Whether it’s you texting your partner too often, or the other way round, you should know when it’s too much texting in a relationship. But how much texting is too much?
A fine line
Relationship with a loved one must be constantly maintained. For the fire of love not to get extinguished, a partner should excite interest and not allow the other partner to relax. However, not everyone understands it the same way. Not everyone is able to ask themselves a question, “Am I texting too much?” A partner begins to call his/her chosen one a hundred times a day, control every step he/she takes and gradually takes all the initiative into his/her own hands. How can you notice that fine line when all the world is not important and there is only one person in it but you, your beloved one? How can you know when to stop?
First, sit down and think about how often you take the initiative in your relationship. Try to be as interested in the relationship as your partner, for the sake of looking normal. So, if you call him/her 15 times a week and he/she only called you once, then we may have a problem. Try to show less interest in your relationship, no matter how difficult it may seem. Let a partner be more proactive than you. Give him/her the opportunity to express him/herself!
Stay cool, calm and collected
Anxiety often comes from distrust. Are you afraid of losing your partner, or do you think that in your absence he/she is talking or dating with someone else? Start by learning how to trust your partner - this is the key to a long and happy relationship. And your chosen one, if he feels that you no longer doubt him/her, will relax and begin to behave quite differently - you'll see.
Do you need it?
If in a relationship you feel that you are literally dragging everything by yourself, and a partner agrees to things sluggishly, think, maybe this is not the kind of relationship you need? Obviously, your obsessiveness can get tiring, there is no question about it, yet if you feel like the partner is not engaged or interested in interactions with you, then maybe this partner simply isn’t worth it.
If you stay in a relationship for a long time and cherish it but continue to want more, and the partner is not in a hurry, this can be a signal for concern. After all, when people are really interested in a joint future, they will show interest and try to maintain relationships at the same level of activity. Think about it. Maybe it’s really time to stop being annoying and just put a bullet in your one-sided relationship?
How to Stop Texting so Much
You can stop texting too much pretty easily. To truly fix being attached to a person, being overly-clingy and annoying, you have to control your attachment to people.
Attachment is divided into healthy and unhealthy. The healthy one is a very close emotional connection; it is obvious when it is there, you are unlikely to become annoying, and you are experiencing the true love. In the case when attachment to the partner does not bring pleasure, but, on the contrary, causes emotional pain, psychological breakdowns, causes fear, this is an unheakthy attachment. Well, it is when attachment deprives a person of any kind of freedom, real and unhealthy dependence is at play. The reasons why such attachments are formed can be different, but most often they arise precisely from those people who sincerely believe that it is such a painful form of attachment that is the most natural.
If you are afraid of becoming addicted to another person, you need to know why this is happening. There is the opinion of psychologists that painful attachments are nothing more than a forced replacement of true love for those who really do not know how to love and do not want to learn, because they love people just like that, giving all their most tender feelings and warmth, without requiring feedback. And only with painful affection, there is a very acute need for a reverse, exactly the same reaction to it, and when there is none, suffering and torment get involved. Therefore, the most important rule is to learn to love without requiring unconditional feelings in return. Only by learning not to expect anything from people can you save yourself from painful addictions.
The second important rule of how to stop texting so much is to have or understand your own meaning in life. And the meaning of life should not be the cultivation of addictions or painful attachments to other people, because, according to psychologists, this is nothing but an artificially created appearance of the meaning of life.
When you communicate with a person for a long time and begin to understand that you have ceased breathing and living without him/her, you should immediately eradicate such thoughts. Always be prepared for the fact that sooner or later, this partner will leave you anyway, just as the others have left. People quietly come into your life and quietly leave it, they come and go, while others take their place. If you initially give yourself the idea that your communication is temporary, the loss of a loved one will not cause so much pain and suffering in you.
How to stop texting someone so much? Do not focus on the subject of your adoration. Even when it is about texting too much in a long distance relationship. Try to keep yourself busy with interesting things and communicate with other people instead of texting someone too much. If you live only by them alone, the termination of this connection will leave only emptiness, you will simply be left alone with your thoughts and experiences.