Temptations are inevitable, even in the most serious relationship. When things get stale, complicated, or just out of control, the inner demon subjects men and women to do nasty stuff to their partner or behind their back. But why do they say males are more prone to temptations in relationships? Is a predominantly “XY” thing to cheat and sabotage the connection?
That would be an incredibly sexist thing to say that males are prone to go through temptations (because, who does not have them?). But the fact that temptations can ruin the most incredible connection would still be true. How do you guard yourself from infatuation towards another person? How to overcome the temptations of lying and covering up financial problems? Hopefully, this article will be the answer.
Are men subject to temptations or this is just a myth?
It is a myth that only men can destroy their families, cheat, or deceive. Women do that too. However, due to sexual freedom and a man’s perception as a “sex machine” or a “macho,” as well as high testosterone levels, males often feel bound to maintain that image. They need to be highly active, sex-driven, and complete as a “male.” There are hundreds upon hundreds of articles about toxic masculinity on the Internet. These sources will prove that sometimes, males suffer as this image they need to compose just as much as their significant others.
Females do have their temptations in their relationships as well, but they are kind of different. Aside from adultery, women feel the need to “spill the tea” and go behind their boyfriend’s/husband’s backs. Of course, not every female gossips about their men, but this is what females are associated with. We are all products of social stigmas and stereotypical images and behaviors.
There are many red flags, and signs women can notice when their men start to meet single women online, go out with friends too much, or smell like an unknown perfume. This is just the start of emerging into temptations. Your goal as a man is to start noticing these patterns and prevent the urge to cheat or lie. In fact, this concerns both genders.
How the inability to resist small temptations ruins your relationships?
How does temptation in relationships ruin your trust forever? You start by little. At first, these are the little innocent lies, like the time you went to a strip club with your boys and lied about being at a meeting. But because there was no argument with your significant other, you didn’t get a negative response. Consequently, the urge to cheat or deceive might continue until someone gives you the cold shoulder. How can the inability to fight temptations in a relationship ruin a connection:
Lack of trust. With time, your partner is going to notice some strange patterns in your behavior.
Checking your phone to make sure it’s locked, changing passwords, hanging out with friends to create a fake story – all of these moves will truly break her heart. Women are highly intuitive human beings, so don’t think she isn’t going to notice the sudden change in your relationships. Most importantly, she is going to lose trust, and it might never be restored afterward.
Neuroses. When you don’t resist temptation, it becomes a huge game of hide and seek. Soon enough, you will be a paranoid lunatic who tries to play the game unfairly, destroying all the evidence. Why? Because you feel the guilt that cannot be avoided unless you will willingly and openly talk about your feelings.
Jealousy in relationships. Your sketchy behavior will make your partner clingy and suspicious. Why? Because subliminally, you are sending messages about your infidelity which can make a woman go crazy (in a bad way.) Consequently, she will want to keep you closer, which will make you even more irritated. You will soon seek confirmation that this partner is indeed too annoying, forgetting the fact that all of this happened because of you.
How to resist temptation in a relationship: useful tips
How to avoid temptation in a relationship? Everyone had this question at some point in life. Resisting the temptation to cheat or lie can be difficult if your connection is staler than a last-week loaf of bread, but it can still be fought.
Think in advance. Will cheating bring you joy in a long-term perspective? Do you know about instant gratification? It is a term to describe momentary joys of life that can bring you pain and suffering aftermath. Will you repent in the end, or will you try to hide the deed? How soon is she going to know (and she WILL find out!)? Is the side chick worth ruining a completely fine relationships, or is your connection already going south? These are the questions you need to ask yourself every day if you want to start overcoming temptation. If the story’s moral side doesn’t bother you that much, let’s proceed with some more advice.
Cool down. If you want sex at the moment, and that girl at the bar is looking hotter than ever, think twice. When seeking ways to fight temptations, you need to analyze every step. Do you need sex, or is it the lack of love that bugs you every day? Do you receive enough support from your significant other? What is it that you seek in another partner? Why do you want to do this? Just to treat yourself to a new body or as a cry for help? Cool down by doing exercises or watching adult movies. Get off and think if you would still smash someone else.
Talk about it with your significant other. I know, it sounds like a social suicide. But how else are you going to fix up the problems with your girlfriend? There is nothing criminal in wanting to have sex with everyone, but if it goes beyond your physical need and becomes an obsession, some things are not right. Will she dump you if you confess? Maybe she will be furious (as she should!), but what are the chances of being dumped? If your girlfriend sees infidelity as the only problem and it’s the only thing that’s going to bug her, you don’t need that kind of partner. A good partner will give you the benefit of the doubt and will try to fix your relationships BEFORE you cheat.
Be honest. Say that she doesn’t ignite you anymore. If you are in for the long run, it is better to project bitter truth than hide it. But make it classy. Tell your girlfriend/wife that things aren’t going as good as you want them to be, but this connection is too valuable for you to lose it like that. But do that only if you genuinely feel it. Don’t give false hope to the person who loves you. If the connection is dead, it’s dead.
Go to therapy. How to fight temptation if you don’t see the problem in your or the connection? Ask the specialst. Maybe you will reveal a tendency to flee from serious relationships; perhaps you have some past wounds, childhood trauma, or the urge to seek validation though sleeping with as many partners as you can.
Watch your candidates. People you want to shag tell a lot about you. Is it the girl you see for the first time in your life? Then you probably need sex, something your partner can give you if you ask nicely. It can start a new chapter in your relationships. But if this girl is someone who evokes feelings in you, makes your stomach drop each time she passes by, the temptation to cheat may be a subsidiary problem. Maybe you are just in love with a new person and don’t want to admit it?
Anyway, how’s your sex life? If you fight temptation each time you see a new girl, why don’t you try to replicate your feelings with an existing girlfriend? She sure as hell wants the same from you. Imagine how many things could’ve changed if you just sat there and talked like two adults. There are hundreds upon hundreds of articles on how to fix your sex life. You can watch tons of videos on how to fix the problems and bring new, fresh air into your connection. Try to talk your partner into being more exciting. What’s more interesting, the only thing you can do it is by being more exciting yourself. Make her want you again, and don’t be surprised if your problems disappear.
Separate for a while. But don’t make it just to get away with cheating repeatedly. Try and think about the reasons why you feel this temptations. Is it because you see each other too much? Is it because you talk too much on a daily basis, discussing the most boring problems of the world? In a normal relationship with healthy communication and good sex, the temptation to cheat is out of the question. So spend some time in separation and evaluate your feelings.
Don’t suggest ménage à trois. If you think that threesomes and inviting someone into your connection will alleviate that itch, you are very much wrong. Bringing someone new into your couple won’t make the desire go away. It may bring even more problems and finally ruin your relationship.
Think about your partner first. What would they feel if they knew you couldn’t resist the temptation to have sex on the side? Would you be pleased to know that your girlfriend went behind your back and managed to cover it up for months? It is a normal practice you would forget about a week after, or would you dump her the next minute?
Temptations are not something you should be ashamed of. How to resist temptation? Evaluate how much you love this connection and how you will feel afterwards. If it is something both of you can manage, then you can try. But if you know that it may break someone’s heart, see a further perspective and have a talk with your partner.