What's It Like Dating a Psychopath?
Psychopaths do not have long-term plans, they just do what they are interested in at the moment. They have an aggressive individuality, and they always strive to be first at everything and defend their point of view, regardless of the methods (this is their similarity with narcissists). They use people, throw them out and use them again, making their own lives as pleasant as possible. They want to feel adored because it is easier to manipulate others that way, they do it without thinking at all. They are wearing some sort of mask all the time. This mask emanates sincerity and honesty. While this person, obviously, is quite different in reality, this mask of happiness and perfection is always on, when it comes to going outside and meeting new people.
I’ve heard a lot of dating psychopath stories over the years. Many women blame their ex-husbands for being "crazy." They’ve said that they weren’t aware that they were dating a psychopath man all along. They felt like they were not in love but in a prison of sorts. A healthy relationship develops in stages, it’s slow but steady. The love of a psychopath is the bombardment of attention, flattery and any kind of communication. Jealousy and possessiveness come with it as well. At first, it’s overwhelming, but over time, you get used to it, like an addict. It results in an emotional dependence, which is very difficult to break later. At this moment, you feel like the center of the universe, you are surrounded by love and care. However, as soon as the psychopath catches you on this hook, they begin to distance themselves and move away from you, making you do everything they want just to experience this great pleasure. Again, like an addict, you are trapped.
They will charm you with their stories about their rough childhood. A villain figure will be a part of these stories, for example, it can be about their step-father. Such a strategy of using pity as a way of getting into your mind and pants is common among men and women as well. You will appreciate their loyalty, you will feel sad about them and thus, you will care for them. When you hear such stories, it’s the right time to ask yourself, “Am I dating a psychopath?”
When they start moving away from you, a sense of guilt comes in. Not only that, be sure you will be reminded of any wrongdoing that you may have done.
Parting with a psychopath is another story. It will not be like getting out of a normal relationship. The goal of a psychopath is to make your life unbearable. They will make you feel ashamed, they will make you feel uncomfortable and sad, but you shouldn't fall for that. If you don’t have anything in common, like kids or a house, then no questions should be asked. If you want to break up with them, it doesn’t matter what they think, this is the end.
When it comes to psychopathic women, they are cold and cynical. As a rule, she is pretty, but she is a bitch to live with. Her order has to be maintained in everything. Dating a psychopath woman is worse than dating a psychopath man because their attitude affects not only their husbands but their children as well. And it’s not just rhetoric, it has been statistically proven that a big percentage of such children will have a mental scar of some sort down the line, most of them are in need of a psychotherapist. They feel like they have been left alone, they haven't got attention from their own mother as children. Dating a psychopath woman leads many men to alcoholism and drug abuse. How to get over dating a psychopath? Visit a specialist, they will help you out.
The psychopathic mistress behaves just like all other psychopaths: she uses a man, behaves independently, and she is completely uninterested in any problems that her children may have. When a man ceases to satisfy her in something, she easily throws him away without any remorse for his feelings.
The difference between a psychopath and a narcissist is that everything that a psychopath does, they do with pleasure, in order to please themselves and achieve their goals. They feel the joy of someone else's discomfort and pain. A narcissist feels like they are great, and they are the best, they cannot even hide it. They feel underappreciated and underutilized. Thus, a narcissistic psychopath is just the worst thing in the world. When it comes to the difference between psychopath and sociopath, sociopaths are less outgoing and friendly by their nature, while psychopaths are quite the opposite.
The victims of psychopaths are people, as a rule, who are energetic and empathetic, who become zombies by the end of a relationship, they don't have energy and will to continue on living. The recovery process is long. The victims of psychopaths are people who are potentially ready to become victims. There may be many reasons for such unconscious readiness, yet you cannot really be prepared for something like that.
Love, like other complex feelings, is an unknown emotion to psychopaths, but they are quite good at imitating it. Moreover, they fascinate their victims so much, that they get quite a bit of profit away from a relationship.
Why Are Psychopaths So Attractive?
Women seek confident and masculine men. And this is where psychopaths come in. Psychopaths look very courageous: they are physically fit, they are people of action, not words, they appeal to the principles of justice and truth. Psychopaths will always boast about moments in their own lives when they've helped a person in need. All this makes a good impression, all this guarantees that a woman will get intrigued by a man like that.
The definition of psychopathy itself implies sharp and un-motivated changes of behavior, changes of mood and ambivalence in feelings. Psychopaths feel the need for mimicry of love under social norms, as they feel like they are forced to find a partner. Therefore, they are extremely vigilant and careful so that until the moment when they make a final decision, whether they should stay with a woman or not, they will never get their mask of courage and vigilance away. They are completely unpredictable, they can be a parasite in a relationship that will last for a long time, sucking all the life out of their partner, or they will surround you with all of the care in the world and then disappear for no apparent reason. This is their nature, while they vary in their approaches, one thing is certain, everything that they touch turns into shit.
Signs You're Dating a Psychopath
Here are just some signs you're dating a psychopath:
1. They feel better than you
Here’s one of the traits of a psychopath. The psychopath directly or indirectly emphasizes their superiority over a partner who allegedly does not reach their level: “You are stupid and uneducated,” “You are too emotional,” “You are fat and obnoxious.” Being in the relationship with such a psychopath, their partner feels worthless and unworthy, they feel ashamed of being worse than their beloved one. They get submitted by such harsh words, and they either try their best to reach these standards, do anything else to please their partner, or cry in bed. Anyway, no good outcome is out there.
2. Bipolar-like attitude
They are very good at caring for you, and your honeymoon will be very romantic. But rather quickly, they cool down and begin to treat you with disdain. A relationship with a psychopath resemble a roller coaster: they love you, they hate you, disagreements alternate with reconciliation. Disrespect quickly turns into insults. For their victim, this situation is truly traumatic and brings depression, neurosis, drug or alcohol abuse. And, in most cases, post-traumatic syndrome.
3. They don’t feel guilty in anything they do
How to spot a psychopath before it’s too late? Look out for this tendency. They are never responsible for their actions and what is happening around them because others are always to blame. Even when their guilt is obvious, they deftly distort and present the incident as something that it isn’t. They assure you that they were misunderstood, and the entire situation was just a miscommunication. They may say that you are just too sensitive. In a word, they do everything to minimize their responsibility.
4. Manipulation instead of love
For a psychopath, the process of seduction is a sport: they seduce with the help of all sorts of manipulative tricks in which there is neither passion nor sincerity. Kindness, attention, care, gifts are perceived by such a person just as tools to get what they want. They expect that later when this period of seduction is over, this relationship will be profitable to them. They are an emotional psychopath, a vampire that will drain all the life out of you.
5. One partner is not enough for them
A psychopath does not know how to build a close, sincere relationship, they quickly get fed up and embark on a search for new adventures. This does not mean that they will immediately give up the bored victim, such people are able to combine several romances at once.
6. They feel important, and think you are not
Outwardly, they give the impression of a powerful, narcissist and soulless person who does not care about the experiences of others. But, while that would be quite bad by itself, they cannot handle any criticism, at all. It is not about the lack of confidence or the necessity of approval. No, the whole point is that they believe in their superiority and power over others. Therefore, they will not tolerate anyone who dares to suggest that they are weak or wrong.
7. They feel like they are a winner at everything they do
In their opinion, the world is divided into winners and losers. And it is very important for them to be a winner in everything they do. Such a desire for constant winning is incompatible with healthy relationships that involve collaboration, compromise, and the ability to forgive and forget.
8. You have lost the ability to think straight
With a sufficiently long relationship, the partner of a psychopath begins to experience cognitive impairments: they may have problems with memory, concentration, attention, motivation, and self-organization. They become absent-minded, less effective, and anxiety overwhelms them. This is too late to ask are you dating a psychopath or not, you need help.
9. They like to dominate
Here is one of the most obvious signs of a psychopath in your life. A psychopath likes to humiliate, control, and devalue others — this is how they assert their power over you. However, they will not tolerate anyone who will try to do the same to them. Moreover, they will try to get their revenge on their “offender.”
10. They are a pathological liar
This is yet another manifestation of their penchant for manipulation. They will lie and do everything they need to get what they want. And their lies may vary in their scope, it can be either something small and insignificant, or something quite opposite, like cheating on you with another partner, or they can have a child you haven't been aware of.