We are all different, and it is really hard to find a person who will love you for who you are. Besides, absolutely any romantic relationships predispose tackling some challenges. Furthermore, if you want to be happy, you need to work on them. It doesn’t matter who you date because, in all likelihood, you will face difficulties. The overriding purpose of this insightful review is to discern about your behavior when you are dating someone with Asperger's syndrome.
Even if your partner tells that he/she suffers from this illness, it doesn’t mean you need to break up and forget their name. This approach is absolutely wrong! In this review, we’ll tell you about this illness and provide you with a few valuable pieces of advice, showing that dating someone with Asperger's syndrome is possible. Furthermore, you can even be happy together! You just need to know how to carry on with these people.
What’s Asperger’s Syndrome?
Before we start covering the key tips to follow, we should provide you with the basics. Firstly, it is necessary to cover the definitions and understand the key symptoms of this illness. This is a part of autism spectrum disorder. Some people consider autism and Asperger’s to be the same. However, these illnesses are a little bit different. The key symptoms of this illness are the following:
- It is really hard for them to interact with others.
- They have too restricted interests.
- They do the same things on an ongoing basis.
- They can’t make friends (it is really hard for them).
- Aspies don’t recognize humor or sarcasm.
- They can’t control their emotions.
- They talk to themselves.
At a glance, it seems like they are weird people. However, you are mistaken. As we have already mentioned, everyone is unique, and we need to learn to understand each other to build strong and healthy relationships.
Keep in mind that the majority of people with Asperger’s don’t show all these signs. However, their main distinctive feature is that they suffer in different social situations. They don’t recognize some social cues. Simply put, they can’t understand whether someone is disinterested or even offended. They don’t understand that, sometimes, it is better to avoid showing the emotions or feelings. For instance, they can speak too loudly when it is necessary to keep silent.
These patients don’t experience any speech delays. However, their language differs. For instance, they may repeat one and the same phrase for a few times. Their manner of speaking is robotic and too formal. They have perfect writing skills and know all grammar rules pretty well, but they experience difficulties with their language in different social situations.
Some individuals have a superior memory. They can easily understand a number of technical rules. They won’t be poring over books for a few nights to understand this or that fact. They are quick on the uptake! At a glance, they seem to be clumsy or even awkward but inwardly, they are kind and vulnerable creatures.
Dating Someone with Asperger's
We have just covered the basics and explained the main symptoms of this disease. Now, it is time to move on to the discussion of the key things related to Asperger's and dating problems. Simply put, we want to inform you how to carry on with them. We hope that our pieces of advice will be helpful to you.
Learn More about This Illness
There’s a well-known saying related to this topic, "Forewarned is forearmed." Some information might seem to be shocking for you, but it will be easier to develop the action plan when you know everything about Asperger’s symptoms. If you don’t know anything about their manner of behavior, you may misinterpret some of their actions.
Modern scientists have proved that their brain has an absolutely different structure and shape. Therefore, they don’t process the new information the same way you do. Some facts may seem to be too strange for you, but you need to be ready for that! If you love this man and can’t imagine your future without him, you might know that dating a guy with Asperger's requires some effects. Firstly, you need to explore this topic and learn all the symptoms of this illness. As a result, it will be easier to understand his emotions and behavior. Keep in mind that your partner perceives this world differently and sometimes, it might seem that they are focused on themselves. However, you just need to find the right approach to them!
Never Blame Them
Our Asperger's dating tips have only one goal - to help you build strong relationships with them. However, you can’t do that until you understand one rule - they differ from you. You shouldn’t blame them because they don’t meet your expectations. Furthermore, you shouldn’t blame them because they don’t understand some social rules. The main problem you may face is that you don’t understand each other. Keep in mind that it is really possible to build great relationships with them, but you need to be wiser. You should know how to carry on with them!
Be More Specific When Asking Them to Do Something
Keep in mind that dating a girl with Asperger's syndrome, you need to be more specific. In other words, they don’t understand your hints. When you live with someone for a definite time period, you expect that this person will be quick to understand you. However, it is not about aspies. They don’t see the writing on the wall. For instance, the phrase “Clean the flat” is too abstract for them. You need to give more detailed instructions like to make up the bed, wash up, clean the floor in the bedroom, etc. In this case, they will easily understand what you mean. Don’t upset because they don’t understand your needs. Just give your tasks as directly as possible!
Don’t Perceive Their Actions Negatively
This is probably the main recommendation you should follow. Sometimes, you might feel that your partner is too cold. He/she doesn’t ask how you are, what you feel or even does something to hurt you. When you are ill, your spouse won’t come in and ask how you feel. However, you shouldn’t get angry and view their intentions negatively. You simply can’t reframe your partner’s behavior. It is impossible to do that!
Even if you disagree with your partner’s behavior, you shouldn’t feel that he/she hurts you intentionally. You need to be wiser! Yes, sometimes it is impossible to do that. You want to feel love, compassion, and esteem. It is believed that people are used to caring about each other in our society, but those who suffer from Asperger’s syndrome don’t understand these rules at all. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean they don’t love or respect you. They really do but in their own way!
You May Experience Some Difficulties with Physical Affection
Keep in mind that kisses, hugs or holding hands don’t make sense for them. Furthermore, they may feel uncomfortable when you hug them because they think that you invade their personal space. If you really want to build healthy relationships with them, you need to notify them about any physical affections. Explain to them what this particular gesture means for you before you do that. As a result, you’ll help your partner get accustomed to your manner of behavior.
It doesn’t mean that such terms as Asperger's and dating have nothing in common. You just need to be more attentive to them. You need to talk a lot! Don’t make surprises for them because they won’t understand them. You just need to notify them about absolutely everything you are going to do!
Dating Sites for Asperger’s
At a glance, Asperger’s seem to be too strange. However, you need to respect them, their values, opinions, and manner of behavior. Besides, they also use dating sites for people with Asperger's to meet their partners. In current times, dating apps or websites became extremely popular. Many people have found their partners online. However, some people who suffer from Asperger’s syndrome want to date the same people as they are. The best place to meet them is choosing a top-quality and cross-functional Asperger’s dating site. In this review, we’ll have a look at the functionality of some of them.
- Aspie-singles.com is a well-known online dating platform, which allows people with AS to find each other. The main distinctive feature of this service is that women can use it for free. The annual subscription for men costs only $5. You just need to make a payment, sign up and create your profile here. This service has lots of useful features, which allow you to find your partner faster.
- Spectrumsingles.com is another service where people with the AS symptom can meet their soulmates. This dating site caters to the needs of AS patients. You’ll find an awful lot of great and convenient features here.
- MyFavoriteHello.co.UK is a cool service for people with autism and learning disabilities. Here, you can meet people like you in a friendly environment. This is a fair opportunity to find friends or a partner here.
- AutisticDating.net is a free service, which enables people with autism or Asperger to look for a soulmate. This service has a large community, and you will easily find your partner here. Besides, the service has a user-friendly interface and a bunch of great features!
Asperger's dating has some peculiarities, but when you are aware of them, you’ll easily understand your partner. They differ from you, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to live, build a career, date someone or live a normal life. Making a little bit better connection will help you build stronger relationships!