04.12.2018

Each of us experiences a pressing feeling of loneliness from time to time. Most of us manage to cope with it without any problems, but there are still periods when it lasts an unexpectedly long time. How to get rid of this not the most pleasant of emotions? The article tells about the ways how to fight depression alone and methods worth trying to overcome depression without the professional help from the side, as well as gives some major tips on dealing with these psychological issues.

How to Fight Depression and Loneliness

How to Fight Depression and Loneliness without Outside Help

Loneliness is the eternal companion of a man. How to get rid of it? We come to this world alone, and are to leave it on our own. So, why do people treat loneliness as the end of the world? Those who do not think about it in this way are happy ones. The great blessing of being alone with your thoughts is highly understandable by creative people. For them, loneliness is freedom! As well as family people respond that they really enjoy the company of themselves to recharge their batteries. But for others, getting into the prison of loneliness means immediate depression. A great many people suffer from the emptiness of being alone and this is a dangerous condition. Today we are going to find out the reasons for this phenomenon as well as learn how to beat depression and loneliness.

Reasons for your loneliness

  • These conditions and psychological causes may suggest why some people feel loneliness more than others and why dealing with depression is harder for them:
  • Psychological difficulties, such as fear, a high level of anxiety, the inability to be interesting to yourself, etc.
  • Fear of appreciation and condemnation, fear of not being accepted, rejected. Self-doubt and negative self-perception makes a person constrained and influences their behavior.
  • Distrusting people in general and fear of emotional intimacy because of the past life hardships.

Lack of communication skills. It also happens that a person does not have enough skills to build a constructive communication. Awkwardness, lack of initiative, uncertainty, or rudeness, incorrectness and other features can interfere with building communication and relationships. And if a person does not have enough communication and does not have a close relationship, then he or she begins to feel lonely.

High, unrealistic expectations from people. There are people who are prone to perfectionism in relationships with other people and have a high level of claims.

How to fight depression by yourself

  • Work with your emotions and thoughts 

When we are depressed, self-blaming will not help. To be true, most of us are in the habit of putting the blame on ourselves. For example, some mistakes were done in the report at your work, and you were accused of it or you had a quarrel with your colleague and do not talk to them. Not every bad thing that happens to you is your fault. Instead of sharing our concerns, we leave it for ourselves and constantly think over how inefficient we are and why we cause all the problems, like we are a walking mess. Which is a big mistake. As a result, the loneliness takes over. So, stop accusing yourself and work on the ability to forgive your own faults.

Because when depressed, it is vital to take care of your emotions. In fact, this is often being forgotten, which results in getting not sufficient sleep, eating poorly, low physical activity, and mental overloading. It's time to "reboot" and recharge the batteries. Go for a walk, have an aromatic bath or read the book of your choice. Just do things that help you focus on your emotions.

Although you can be lonely in a crowd, communication helps to get distracted even for a while. The best medicine is to go out and find a company. It is good if it is a company of friends, traveling and hiking in groups is also a great way out. You will not concentrate on the fact how sad you are during an interesting conversation.

  • Structure your day

Another tip on how to overcome loneliness is to have a strict tight schedule. When your mind is not occupied with anything “unnecessary” and you work on the things that make you happy, you will not feel sad and lonely. If you have free time, then go for a walk, ride a bike, read a good book. Be sure to find some hobby for yourself and do not be afraid to try something completely new. When you gain new experience, you become a generally more interesting person, and many will be eager to talk to you. In addition, if you take up a new activity or courses, you can make new acquaintances with people whose interests are similar to yours. As a result, you will significantly expand the circle of communication. 

And always have a bigger goal you are working for. Be your own motivation and compare yourself to no one other than the yesterday’s version of yourself. When you know that your life has a certain important purpose, the support and encouragement of other people loses its importance. It is pretty much impossible to think of the meaninglessness of your life if you have a future goal you are sweating your hair off for!

Start attending acting classes or learn how to swim in a kayak, learn a foreign language or go in for oriental dancing. Start a new activity to fill in the blanks in your day and be as productive as possible. Buy yourself a planner or install an app and think over how to spend every minute of your new life in advance. In addition, new knowledge and skills will broaden your horizons and attract even more friends to you.

  • Try new activities and hobbies

Another tip you should know if you are struggling to learn how to fight loneliness is to discover and get involved in new activities. Being truly intrigued and interested in some exciting hobby, you will notice all the worries go away.

  • Plan a spontaneous trip, which will include visiting places you have always wanted to visit. Try to get acquainted with new people while on the road, so that there is someone to come back to.
  • Volunteering would be a brilliant idea too. As a proven way to lead the bad feelings away is to help those who need it. There many ways to do it.
  • Disassemble the wardrobe to see which things you do not longer wear and give them to a local shelter.

Donate your mugs, plates, bed sheets, pieces of decor that you do not longer use to those in need. It will be not only useful for them, but you will feel refreshed and liberated. Check if there are elderly among your neighbors, bedridden ill people or just the lonely who need help. You can go to their houses, have a talk, buy them something tasty, or play games. Remember, you can let your negativity away only through the sincere work, and dealing with loneliness is always easier together.

  • Improve your health

According to the results of a study at the University of Chicago, it turned out that loneliness has a detrimental effect on human health, similar to alcohol, smoking, and overeating. Scientists believe that isolation from society is equal to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. In addition, people suffering from loneliness are very susceptible to nervous, cardiovascular and other psychosomatic diseases. Isn’t it a great reason to get out of your comfort zone, stop blaming yourself and get rid of the feeling of loneliness?

Take up the habit of healthy eating, try balanced diet and yoga. All of this will certainly improve your general health and mental condition. Getting closer to mother nature refreshes and gives energy, you will feel better and everything you do will become easier because sport activates our inner reserves.

Do not know how to deal with loneliness? Change your attitude towards being alone and your mental health will get better. Think about why you are alone, what caused it, do not treat your depressive moods as the end of the world. In the long run, if you are constantly alone, you have so much free time! Dedicate it to self-improvement, learn something new, engage in something you did not have time to do before. Think, maybe your current state will help you get on your feet in the future, you will finally get a high position or make money by opening your own business. Material stability is important for everyone, it gives confidence, because it is not for nothing that people in many countries are trying to secure a solid financial foundation for themselves before starting a family.

  • Communicate more

Be sure to resume communication with people, even if you don’t feel like it at all. Visit relatives, attend events that are taking place in your city right now. If you have small nephews, take them to the zoo, circus or theater. Nothing helps to get out of the depression trap better than communication with children. Call your old friends who you have ceased relationship with for no particular reason. Go with them for a walk, suggest them visit your house or go to the club. Many of them will be happy to meet you again.

Do not wait for people to contact you, be the first to get close to them and take the initiative. Ask your friends if they have some handsome pals that are lonely too and would want to hang out or to talk with you on an interesting topic. Invite him (or her) to drink a cup of coffee with you. You must show interest in other people, and they will surely do it too. Do not expect that you will get a new friend immediately after you meet someone. This can be a long and painstaking process, but it will lead to true friendship.

  • Live for now

Whenever the longing for the past starts to overcome you, say «no» to it! Transfer all your attention to what is happening today. You cannot go back to school and become the queen of the class again. It is not in your power to return a girlfriend who died from a serious illness or a beloved cat that was hit by a car. Life goes on, so do you. Look for other opportunities to be happy today and tomorrow. Do not be upset if loneliness continues to torment you despite the many new hobbies and affairs. It will fade gradually, just focus on what feeling you have now and what new projects or affairs you can start to be more productive, do not let the past beat you. You have to understand that all people feel lonely from time to time and you are not alone at least in this. Awareness of the problem provides 50% of success in solving it.

Think about what you would like to do at the very moment when you feel lonely and do it, in spite of any difficulties and what anyone says to you. Your task is to get distracted from the depressive thoughts in any way. Watch a good movie, listen to your favorite music. Go to a concert or the theater, maybe you will meet interesting people there. Just remember, dark times pass by and you are the only person in your life that will stay there forever. Even if you now have no one to talk to and give you a sturdy hug, there are still so many incredible things in our world to focus on.

Loneliness is such a strong emotion that it can make you feel isolated even in a crowd. You can have friends, relatives, and family and still feel lonely. But you should not take your state as a certain constant and unchanging reality, especially now that you now know how to cope with loneliness. Try to always take a positive look at the situation. In general, loneliness may be an appropriate occasion to try something completely new, take a break from pressing matters, recharge your batteries, and shape your new self. In the end, the best inventions and pieces of art were made in the state of being alone and concentrated on the own thoughts. So, change your attitude to loneliness from treating it as the first stage of depression into the possibility to study your inner world and become better.

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