Divorce on the initiative of a wife has become quite common in recent years. Opinion polls showed that women evaluate the quality of their marriage lower than men. A wife may demand a divorce for personal purposes wanting to teach her husband a lesson. If a spouse wants to divorce but does not make the final decision, then this is most likely a method of manipulating her husband. But in some cases, the wife thus shows the last straw of her patience and makes it clear to the man that he needs to do something or change his behavior. It means she starts to show signs it's time for a divorce.
Reasons Why Your Wife Wants a Divorce
Even perfect marriages can crush into pieces though they may seem flawless to other people. Sometimes even you think that your union is ideal and there are no problems with communication or mutual understanding in your couple, but one day you receive a letter from your lawyer stating that your spouse has filed for a divorce. Reasons for such behavior may be different, and only 2 out of 10 people get surprised when they hear their partner want to divorce. Most of us subconsciously perceive the situation right, and you too see all signs your wife doesn't love you anymore when she acts strangely. So, if your relationship has come to a crucial point when your wife wants to leave you, consider these potential reasons for her behavior, chances are you should be the one to blame.
You neglect her feelings. Giving your spouse financial support does not mean you know her as a person or understand what she feels, even joint raising of children can be void of any mutual understanding, and after years of marriage, you come to realize you do not know the person you are living with. If you let your relationship be superficial, you didn’t talk about feelings, plans for the future, favorite films of each other, do not know the habits and general information about your wife, you missed out on a huge part of living together and risk to lose it all. When your beloved experiences mood swings and you do not understand how to ask about it because you have never talked about emotions, this is one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
You cheat on her. Cheating and drifting apart are among the most commonly cited reasons for divorce in Europe according to sociologists. But to be true, as polls showed, the majority of respondents consider the regular meetings with another person for sex or a rather long-term extramarital affair to be a sufficient reason for divorce. Even if you cheated once, there still chances that your partner would understand and forgive. However, if such betrayals were regular, you liked to meet single girls and were revealed or there were so many cases of cheating that hiding them has no longer any sense, your wife has a full right to ask for a divorce.
There is emotional or physical abuse. At first, not all of us notice manipulation or abuse. Even the physical one. We have been taught that if the man hits hard enough that it leaves marks on the skin which could be detected by police, only then it is an obvious sign of physical abuse. But what if a person regularly holds a hand of his wife too tight, pushes her towards so that she moves faster or even chokes her too hard in a process of a sex game, this is all considered unacceptable. A whole another topic is emotional abuse as some of us were brought up the way we do not tell normal behavior patterns and manipulation apart. Many of us have problems with self-esteem and relationships, so a woman can feel uncomfortable with a partner and does not understand that the reason for this doesn’t lie in her, but her spouse’s violence is to blame.
Your common interests slipped away. One of the signs you need a divorce is constant quarrels and mismatch of personalities. When a woman realizes you have diametrically opposite attitudes towards the basic things like eating, holidays or which color to paint the wall during a house repair, it means they hide some bigger problems. When you are in love, you respect the opinion of your partner and want to please them not noticing that you sacrifice some of your preferences. And when you are no longer able to meet each other halfway even in everyday issues, it means you both had enough.
Your goals do not match with hers. And it is about fundamental things like education, children and career. Sometimes our expectations fool us into thinking that the person will move for the sake of the family, find a better job or that your childfree partner will want to have kids with you one day. However, after many years we wake up, the blindfold is off, and we see the reality. And if you experience the mismatch in important life issues and plans, the answer to the question that tears you apart so much, "Why my wife wants to leave me?" is clear. She is no longer that single girl online that you fell in love with, the love passed by and she came to realize you are not a kind of a man she wants to spend her life with.
7 Warning Signs She Wants to Leave You
Every couple had at least once experienced a hard period, but when some managed to cope with their problems and get stronger, others gave up and got a divorce. Statistics show that women are much more likely to file for divorce, considering men guilty. And, as a rule, ladies regret it more. Before legalizing a divorce, couples go through two critical stages, whatever the reasons.
1. Emotional divorce is the collapse of the illusions of married life, dissatisfaction, alienation. During this period, the spouses are still trying to control the partner, hoping to influence the situation by force or, on the contrary, let it go. Banal quarrels flow into chronic conflicts.
2. Despair before a divorce is when both spouses feel it, whatever the reasons are: exhaustion, pain, fear, anger. Feelings and actions are contradictory, a feeling of emptiness and chaos. Weak attempts to return everything, but at the same time, waiting for the initiative from the partner. Conflict is almost the only way to communicate. Have you experienced any of the symptoms? Or maybe you have noticed any other signs wife wants another man? Then you should start acting as soon as possible to save your couple. Here are the main signs your marriage is on the edge of a breakup that should tell you it is time to take the initiative.
She does not want to have children. Years go by, you like to be together, but your beloved one doesn’t even dare to raise the issue of children. As a rule, a woman is the first to think about a child. And if she doesn’t show any interest in this topic while you feel ready to have a child, it means she is not confident in either you or your common future. She doesn't feel you are the one to be the father of her children.
You quarrel over nothing. Strewn socks, a dirty dish left in the sin, then you bought the napkins of the wrong color, so even such moments can become reasons for major scandals in the family. If most often large quarrels have no ground beneath them, it's time to think. In the process of such arguments all hidden offenses pop up, accusations against each other appear, and you begin to manipulate. Even a small detail can become a reason to lose nerves when you are both on the edge of emotional breakdown. If your spouse no longer tolerates your small imperfections, this is a sure "my wife wants to leave me" sign.
You have sex problems. Has your sex ceased to be bright and regular? If you are both healthy mentally and physically, you do not have a huge work overload, children that would interfere you with getting private or any other giant plans that would take all your time and energy, consider why this is happening. Intimate life brings spouses together, and if you do not enjoy sex with your beloved one, then why do you need such a marriage?
However, not only the lack of intimate life but, on the contrary, too frequent sex may be a sign of imminent separation. There are frequent cases when an intimate life becomes richer before a divorce. This is due to feelings of guilt arising from the spouses and attempts to establish an old happy family life in this way. Or sometimes people get a divorce and continue to meet for regular sex without obligations because they have become used to it during the years of common life.
You stopped talking heart to heart. Divorce is close if you hardly talk to your wife or all your dialogues come down to solving minor everyday problems. And even discussing children, spouses can do with dry phrases and stop sharing their own experiences and emotions. This is a good reason to think, maybe your relationship has already become doomed? No couple can live together for long if their relationships are superficial. If you have not been talking about your plans, what bothers you, what you do not like in your partner in particular and how you can solve these problems, it is obvious that this may serve a reason for a divorce.
She doesn’t care what you think. There is something worse than contempt, this is about indifference. And the truth is, indifference kills marriages. Small quarrels can appear in every family, they mean you are two adult emotional people, and your relationship is healthy. Such bursts give way to negativity. But if you notice that you throw the old accusations at your spouse, try to control her, forbid to do something, tell her she has put on weight or even that her skills at something are awful but notice nothing but a blank look in her eyes, you can be sure. She has made a final decision for herself and knows when to leave a marriage.
She tries to spend maximum time out of the home. In youth, many people want to leave home, gain independence and live on their own. This can happen in a marriage with one of the spouses. She doesn’t want to be at home, she avoids joint leisure, driving to work together, hobbies, social circles, and other activities. The reason for this can be a loss of internal strength, when, despite all the positive aspects of marriage, a person feels exhausted and tired physically and mentally. Everything that is connected with you and your home doesn’t excite her, so she simply tries to run away.
Your woman suddenly became an “ideal wife.” One of the signs your wife wants to leave you is that she became more calm, patient and happy regardless of your mood and behavior. Perhaps the has already realized that she wants to divorce you and will do that soon. There is a simple story about it: one man who had a difficult relationship with his wife suddenly became an ideal husband for six months. Just the way she wanted him to be. And one day he went out to a store and did not return. He sent a lawyer with a divorce notice to his wife.
She Wants to Leave Me: What to Do?
First of all, it is necessary to find out why the wife filed for divorce or is just going to do it. Analyze your behavior, review the reasons for the divorce and think about how acceptable they are in your case. If you don’t see a clear reason for a divorce, then calmly and frankly talk with your spouse and try to dissuade her. You can also seek help from a family psychologist. He will analyze the situation and give tips that will help save the family and tell you what to do next. But if you already know everything and can tell for sure, "My wife wants a divorce," there are still some things you can do to try to save the situation.
Analyze your behavior and the situation in general. In most cases, the news about your wife's decision will not be a surprise for you. When something goes wrong in a marriage, both spouses feel it, and you must have noticed that your beloved started behaving in another way, something changed between you and you couldn’t tell for sure what. Now that you know, you should turn back in time to the first time you felt something was wrong and analyze what happened next up to this day.
Talk to your spouse. Show your wife her importance in your eyes. If your wife says no longer loves you or filed for divorce for another reason, try to show her significance. Try to give your spouse more attention, often talk about your devotion and love. If you don’t have children, say you want her to be pregnant. If your wife is still in love with you, then she will stay and refuse to divorce because with these simple actions and words you will show her how important and valuable, she is to you. This is one of the most effective ways to help dissuade your spouse from divorce. However, if you deep inside, and do not want to put effort, you feel exhausted and want to give up, it means you do not want to save this relationship either. When its time to divorce? Exactly when you both do not see sense in further trying and feel you will live easier on your own.
Get ready to changes... or divorce. Become a new man. One that can protect and takes responsibility. After you talk and she explains to you the reasons why she feels the need to live separately and break your union, it is time for you to change the aspects that do not suit her. Try to understand your wife, if she loves you, in such a way she tries to heal your relationship and she gives you a chance. Because if she didn’t care, she would just send you a notice from a court to be present at a divorce process and that’s all.
Become gentler and caring. Women need affection and warmth, and if they do not get it, they can file for divorce for no apparent reason. And the reason is your coldness that they do not even understand themselves. Be more attentive and affectionate, so that she feels you can change for the better.
Marriage is a complicated union that starts from a crazy love of two young people and should later grow into mutual respect and the balanced relationship of two adults. On your way, you experience various hardships, and sometimes you think it will be easier to just give up. We have told you how to detect first signs your wife has made such a decision for herself and try to save your marriage.
There are, of course, dead-end cases when it is not even worth trying to save anything. Or situations when you feel that this marriage is no longer for you. How to tell your spouse you want a divorce in this case? Directly when you have used all the means to repair a broken relationship, and they did not work out. Getting a divorce is an extremely important decision, and you shouldn't talk about it as if it doesn't mean anything. It is a final crucial point when nothing else works. So, when you notice something is wrong between you and your spouse, try to solve the problems as hard as you can and only then think about tearing everything apart forever.