Despite the fact that the human psychology is claimed to be unchangeable, millennials manage to ruin the established norms. Let’s define that this term (in its broadest sense) refers to so-called Generation Y, born in 1981-1991, and Generation Z, born in 1991-2001. We live in times when traditional values collide with the fruits of scientific and technological progress so the human mind has to evolve. The fear of commitment is one of the hottest topics raised nowadays. The uncertainty about it is probably one of the core characteristics of millennials. But what exactly does provoke it? I’m going to introduce you to the very reasons why modern young people feel so awkward about commitment.
How commitment was traditionally viewed throughout the history
When did we become afraid of commitment? Human beings have two sides: on the one hand, we all are individuals but on the other hand, we are social creatures who need to mingle with others. For thousands of years, people had to gather in groups because this was vital for survival. Commitment became the integral component of success – it helped us build empires, conquer new territories, and create things.
As time went by, our collective power gave us so many achievements that large groups began to split into smaller ones; there was no longer a need to maintain a close connection with others to stay alive, healthy, and happy. The more benefits of civilization we get, the more self-reliant we become. Thanks to increasing individualism, people now fear to commit.
Why do millennial people fear commitment?
If a regular guy or girl at the age of 15-35 asks him/herself a question “Am I afraid of commitment?”, the answer will probably be “Yes”. Let’s now see what 7 major factors influence this opinion.
They fear to repeat negative patterns. Modern youngsters tend to change quite many romantic partners. Too often, these relationships turn into painful experiences. If one can’t figure out why it happens, he/she might endlessly go through similar troubles.
Commitment makes them feel vulnerable. We are too used to live our lives in a way we choose. That’s why any possible changes seem frightening to us. “What if I will never be able to do what I want if there is a constant partner by my side?”, young people think.
Their perspectives are too wide. There is a plenty of heights to reach, places to see, cool strangers to meet, and exciting things to try. People become afraid of commitment because it seems like they will lose the freedom to act.
Settling down is now the synonym for being trapped. Many youngsters think that if they meet someone to love, this person will require their constant presence and devotion. What if this gets boring with time and you will have to live in a cage?
Their worldview is marked with perfectionism. Fear of commitment may also be formed by media and pop culture. Most films and books tell us ideal love stories featuring ideal men and women. Yet there are no ideal people in real life. Real dating materials might not meet your high expectations.
It is hard to give pleasures up. The millennial generation has access to pleasures of all kinds and many of those do not match what is called “family life”. You can’t go out whenever you want, meet random hotties, and return home at 5 a.m. Some of us get terrified with a forecast like this!
They are afraid of undertaking responsibilities. A committed relationship is unimaginable if none of the partners is ready to reach compromises and stand trough the difficulties. Among the core millennials’ characteristics, there is the aspiration to take everything this life can offer so it becomes hard to share your private space with someone else.
So is a commitment that horrible? Certainly not. Due to our psychological barriers, we sometimes can’t see the things as they really are. Anyway, you know what makes you fear serious relationships now. I personally hope this info can help you in overcoming the fear of commitment if you wish to change your vision of the things.