I almost feel like a veteran of on-line dating now that I have been searching for my soulmate for 2 years now, but even though I have received an on slot of attention since the first day till now. Being a veteran at this on-line dating game means nothing. No one is immune to the tricks, games, and fake profiles that seem to pop up more and more these days. I started with one main dating site and I seemed to be addicted too. Which has led to signing up on almost all of them. At first, it was an act of desperation, adding myself to as many sites as possible. It then turned into a mission to succeed in the goal I set for myself. Finding my wife and understanding the possibilities of achieving that goal. To reach that goal though I have to figure out how to overcome something that has been a part of the women world in Europe. I am failing at this game of online dating and I believe there is an underlying cause for this. I want to give it a name because its almost like a disease that needs a cure. This disease root cause is men. This is not an opinion oh no its fact. The fact that a lot of men treat online dating like it's just a playground to use and abuse the same way as they have in the real world. To many, are set in their ways and don't want to change. To many, that don't think they need to change. They can do whatever they want because they always have been able too, so why would it make any difference to them in a place where you can pretend to be whoever you want.  This is where I am ashamed to be a man in a world where men act before they think or just don't think at all.

I am sure when some people read this, I will be called a number of foul names and may get a lot of negative comments. I am ok with that. I am not the type of man that would ever be affected by what someone else thought of me. I hope though that there are some that have behaved in such a manner that it has cost them someone they really loved in the past but have been too stubborn to admit they did anything wrong. These are the ones that I am trying to reach. Right now I am fighting a loosing battle of hope of being seen as a real man that does not have the label of being a womanizer, selfish, inconsiderate, arrogant, cheater, abusive and shallow. These are the typical words to describe a man these days with how they treat women.I had no idea how bad it really was in the world until I joined these dating sites for finding a wife from another country. The stories I have heard have opened my eyes to the embarrassment of being called a man and the frustration of not being able to be seen as an individual, even though its an individual that enters into the relationship and its an individual that the woman is trying to get to know. How I wish it were that simple but my experience of being a so-called veteran of online dating has shown me time and time again that the women in Europe have had such a awful past or all the men around them growing up they see their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, parents co-workers, men everywhere acting the same towards women.

My case in point, “International Women's Day”

To be honest, I had never heard of this day before I started on these sites. Not once in my 53 years have I ever heard those words being said. At first, I was shocked! A holiday just for women. Is this some sort of joke? I went and asked one of the women I was communicating with at the time to explain what this holiday was about. I asked "How did women get their own special holiday"?

Then I was given the history and explanation and a description of the excitement for women for this day and the flowers and presents that this day was celebrated to the level of Christmas. Think about this for a second. The men are so bad in Europe and all the women put up with everything, I am adding my extra thoughts on it. I am just using this one day a year example of how bad the women in Europe have it.

This is all such a negative and heartbreaking topic and is where I feel that I am in a loosing battle. When I first joined that first site and saw the attention I got. I was so happy that I would not have to wait any longer to find the wife I have been dreaming about for the last 21 years. I started to hear the stories that all had the same theme. That men in Europe did not deserve such beautiful women. The people that took mail order brides to the next level, I am hoping they thought as I do and figured out how to give the beautiful women of Europe a chance at a happier life. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same result every time but hoping for something better. Now women from all over can find the man they have dreamed about since they were kids but would never see that man in their country. 

I am talking to those I am trying to reach to help me. All of you are making me look bad. I absolutely can't stand being seen as the same as the men these women on these site grew up with or dated or married. There is nothing that has frustrated me more than being judged before I am even given a chance to show someone that I am nothing like any of these men. So you guys out there. If you are here because your only other option you will ever have in being with a woman again is if back home you have to pay for it. People know you, you probably have a reputation or a couple of ex-wives that praise your wickedness to everyone. So you thought I will come to a online dating site with women trying to get out of their country. You figure how hard can it be for you. You are willing to spend as much money as it takes to fool some woman to be your wife and then go back to how you always treat them. I would like to castrate all of you. All you will reproduce is more like you. After you have finished reading this and have written your comment telling me I have no balls and I probably like men, go look at your daughter if you are lucky enough to have one and just think she could end up with a man just like you. Since daughters tend to find men  a lot like their fathers. Maybe think twice the next time you are with a woman if you are lucky enough to be blessed by having a woman next to you again, that you should set an example for your daughter and be the man you hope she is lucky enough to have in her life.

Be the man that every woman here deserves. Did you know that women share their happiness. It's in their nature. All women instinctively share their positive moods on everyone around them. It's infectious and addictive. If you pay attention to your woman you will see it for yourself the next time she is in a great mood, when she walks into a room the whole room and everyone in it will be overpowered by her positive energy. She wants only what should be common sense for all of you dumbasses. She just wants to be treated like a human being. Women don't get power hungry and try to dominate everyone like men and all of their insecurities.

It is not weakness to show a woman your emotions. She won't reject you for being soft and kind or show that you have the ability to be vulnerable. It amazes me sometimes how stupid men can be that don't understand how easy relationships can be and how easy it is to want and get your woman in the mood for fun. Now listen closely, I am going to now tell you a secret about women. If you just shut up and don't talk about yourself or talk about what your day was like or anything with a sentence that starts with "I..." and just asked her to tell you about her day and show her that she is the only woman in the world at that given time. I guarantee you, she will automatically see you as being more attractive than usual. The more you show her how important she is to you and give her respect. Actually listen to what she says. Make contact when she talks. Touch her hair, put your hand around her waist or on her shoulder. Just little things like that and if you are paying attention she will give you the opportunity to prove to her that you are not a stick in the mud. That you are not a man that treats women poorly. Any man that can't see that our planet would be just an awful place without women, and it would not be a planet I would want to live on.

So I am asking for your help. I am asking all the men that have been an asshole in the past to do better. Do your best. Do you not believe that you yourself deserves the best. The woman you are with or are trying to be with deserves the exact same thing as you do. Give it to her. It will only make your life better for it. All women treated the correct way will always give back more than what she was given. That is how awesome they are. So give her more. Do it without expecting something in return. Do it because you want too. Do it just to make her happy. Do everything always without expecting a return. I promise you if you can act like that every day when it just becomes who you are. All of it will be returned because that's what they do.

They give and give and give some more. They have been giving their whole lives for generation after generation. We owe them. Give your feelings, give your emotions, give her words of encouragement, give her word of praise, tell her you love her. Tell her how beautiful she is, always be appreciative, never let her down, be someone she can count on. Be better than the men she expects. Show her something she has never seen before. Oh one last thing that maybe will give you incentive to do better. Women love foreplay. More foreplay, the better. Did you know that women think about sex more than men do. They are just more reserved and don't act like pigs like men do. Sex is more than the act. Let that sit in the brain of yours. All you need to do is figure out how to bring that feeling to the forefront.

So guys do better

Ladies I can't put this all on the guys for why its hard for some men to break free from your tunnel vision that all men are the same. We are not, so please try and not give a verdict of guilty right from the start.