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Do searching for true love has become like running after an illusion, or does it still exist?

In 2017, I was in my early twenties. I had always dreamed of creating a relationship based on loyalty, love, and respect because I am a person who values ​​family values, and I always heard about traditional relationships that end in divorce and the separation of children. I never liked this. I wanted a relationship forever.In 2018, I found a girl on the Internet that I got to know. She was a year and a few months younger than me. We kept talking online for two months. Those conversations turned into admiration and then into love. I don’t know if she shared the same real feelings with me or if she was pretending, because she always cared about me. And she's worried about me, Then, after these two months, we decided to meet, and we met one time in a restaurant in a nearby city, and it was an unforgettable moment. She was a very gentle girl. I was saying to myself that I had finally found true love, in this world that was filled with people who just wanted to play with the feelings of others.I was in the last months of my first year at university. We had planned to get married, but I was not in control of my affairs because I was working in my father’s clothing store during the holidays, and at the same time I was afraid that I would delay marriage and lose her.Then, after several meetings, the matter turned into a curse. She never asked me for money, but she was upset that I did not respond to her messages within the same minute or even the same second. Sometimes I would be busy, so after I returned, I would reply to her and apologize for saying I was busy. After several apologies, she would accept my apology, and sometimes she would create problems for no reason, and I was the one apologizing as if I was at fault, One time, I was out of the house and left my phone at about 10 AM I did not return until the evening, and when I opened her messages, I found her saying to me, “Have you found another girl?” Do you want to leave me? I don't know where these ideas come from to her mind. I explained the matter to her, and those days passed, then suddenly she became cold-hearted. She was no longer the same as she was before. She rarely sent me messages, and then suddenly she blocked me from all of social media platforms, even my phone number. It was an annoying nightmare for me, but I... I wanted to show this so that it would not affect my studies.I didn't know the reason, but I heard from a friend of hers that she was in a relationship with someone else. It made the situation worse. I always asked myself: What did I find wrong with her that made her leave me so easily? Am I that bad? What's my fault? These were all questions to which I could not find answers. Then I tried to move on, but it was very difficult as I did not see any girl who could replace me with them. As they say, what goes around comes around, After 7 months of her relationship with that person, he left her after he hurt her heart and humiliated her just as she humiliated me. Then she kept searching and searching and found nothing, then decided to come back to me, and she thought that I did not know her story, but when she returned, I rejected her and did not accept her, as betrayal is an unforgivable sin among humans. I was affected by what happened to her, but at the same time, was happy because I was finally healed.Since then, I have not entered into any other relationship because I decided that when I was financially independent and ready, I would only think about marriage as soon as possible after any relationship. I did not want the relationship to last long. I wrote my story. Please tell me who is wrong in your opinion? Me or her?

Comments (63)

Lesya, 19

11 Jun

I don’t think there is only one “right” side here. You were both young, emotional, and maybe didn’t yet know how to build trust and calm communication. Her jealousy and your strong sense of responsibility simply affected the relationship in different ways. What matters is that you learned from it and now want something more stable that is already a big step forward. I’m curious: what do you think is most important for you now in a relationship trust, freedom, or constant closeness with a partner? 
Anna, 22

19 Jan

A story that resonates and touches, an experience that makes us stronger and shows that true feelings are priceless. 
In every situation, both parties are at fault... I'm so glad you've healed from this relationship. And I think you made the right decision not to rush into marriage. Everything takes time. 
The story is very sad, it shows great pain and disappointment in a loved one. But we learn from mistakes, this is not a mistake - it is a lesson that was given to you and this girl. Because with time you can understand everything, as well as how to fix it. But not everyone reaches this point. It's good that over time you will remember this with a smile on your face and say if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have met your mother 
Diana, 22

07 Jan

Your story is so touching and honest. It conveys real pain and disappointment, but also maturity and self-respect. You took your time, valued yourself and your boundaries, and refused to bring back the past that caused you pain. There's no clear "right" or "wrong" here; there are only experiences and lessons that make us stronger. What's important is that you were able to put yourself first and wait for the time when you were ready for true love. 
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