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We are born and live in a society where we are convinced that men are strong and rational leaders, and women are weak, emotional, and incapable of intellectual or managerial work. The effect of copious repetition makes us feel that such judgments and estimates are true. As a result, they are often reproduced with a very intelligent face as a proven and well-known fact in science. However, the only fact known to science is that such conversations greatly harm women, their self-esteem, and ideas about themselves.

These conversations literally destroy the present and future of women of all generations. Their faith in themselves, their human dignity, and the ability to fully realize their talents. Because all people are equal. And no one should be ever harmed, mistreated, or disrespected based on their gender. It is normal for a woman to take on a leading role in relationships, in case a man does not object to this. So, today we'll talk about female-led relationship stories and how to make such scenario work.

female led relationship

What Are Female-Led Relationships?

The type of relationship in which a woman is the head of the family used to be a rarity, but this is quite acceptable in the modern world. It often happens that a woman not only makes the most important decisions but also assumes the responsibility of a getter. Feeling her responsibility, a woman directs all her energy to maintain the family hearth, takes care of the happiness and well-being of the relationship. If she dared to become a leader in a relationship, then she is definitely a strong and courageous person. Usually, such women have amazing stamina and character. When men meet single ladies like this, they either get scared by them or start dating these women and create strong and harmonious unions.

Is it possible to put the relationship upside down and create a scheme in which the main role will belong to the woman? It all depends on what kind of man you are building a relationship with. As a rule, initiative women attract womanizers, who are confident in themselves and their exploits. But women’s initiative will be also approved by the men who are not confident and not so popular among the opposite sex. Only this approach, when a woman is a leader, helps them build a relationship. As for ordinary men, accustomed to the traditional rules of courtship, the initiative of the girl will be absolutely acceptable. But assertive tactics will, most likely, quickly scare away a man. When a girl does not evoke any emotions and fully takes on the responsibility, she will be perceived as a clingy girlfriend.

A female-led relationship is, as a rule, a union where a woman earns more or is more successful professionally. Because only being superior in some field allows her to feel more confident, be independent of her man, and help him in making decisions instead of asking for advice. Such schemes are becoming more popular today because they are oriented at the characters and traditions of specific people. When a man and a woman fall in love, they can choose the family scenario that will suit them without the pressure of society. By the way, in many cultures, for example of the African peoples, a woman has been traditionally a leader.

Female-Led Relationships Features

Is it always good to be strong and independent? The fate of strong women - purposeful, successful, stubborn, courageous - is a gift and a challenge at the same time. Life difficulties harden their character and add experience, knowledge, and self-confidence. Their strength as armor protects them from further turmoil. However, the same armor can also become a burden to a woman in a leading role. Both negative and positive features typical of female-led relationships are described below. We've tried to look at both sides of the coin.

female led relationship stories

Females-leaders often forget how to be weak

Often, female independence really leads to family problems. When women want to build a “cozy home nest” (and sometimes approach this task as another business project!), they suddenly discover that they simply do not know how to be weak and are afraid to lose control. As in all other areas of her life, in her personal relationships, a strong woman maintains her independence as a top priority. She laughs when she hears that her place is in the kitchen, she can stand up for herself, she wants to get an education and make money. She gives birth to children when she is ready for this, and not because it is time, and not to keep the man. And she does not allow anyone to decide for herself what to do with her life. What is a female-led relationship? It is often a union with a woman who practically plays the role or both partners. Why does she need anyone then?

Misunderstandings based on stereotypes

The problems in such families are rooted neither in the costs of democracy nor in disagreement. Problems begin when it becomes difficult for a woman to respect her man. Because it has been traditionally so, that the man was the leader, and it is hard for us to step aside from these rules in our heads. When she ceases to consider him reliable, responsible, and simply necessary. When she begins to perceive a man as a burden rather than a resource. All this can be very veiled, but when a woman talks about her relationship, it immediately becomes clear how does she treat her man and his role in her life.

Cooperation and wisdom

When female-led relationship rules are perceived natural by a man and a woman, they do not face any difficulties giving up all the prejudices, this experience can be truly rewarding. To be the head of the family is simple and reasonable. If we imagine a family to be a small enterprise, a company, then the head of the family, the husband, is the director. And the wife is the owner of this enterprise. This is a person who selects the director of the company, assigns his obligations, pays him a salary, and asks for the implementation of the tasks. Accordingly, one of the female-led relationship ideas is that the wife’s task is to choose the right husband who will keep the wheel of the family in the right direction and make the right decisions. She will be the main, but she will be able to relax and rely on her man. Let’s recall one of the oldest female-led relationship quotes, this is a proverb, "The husband is the head of the family, and the wife is the neck: wherever the neck turns, the head looks there!" In this case, the role of a man in a family is the role of a leader, or rather, an obvious leader. And the role of a woman is the role of a hidden leader, that is, she is the real queen.

Wife as a hidden leader

If a female-led relationship works great, one of its features is that a woman directs her husband's attention to the tasks facing the family and suggests the general direction of the solution. The husband, as the head of the family, considers everything, makes a decision, and ensures its implementation. Then the wife admires her husband: pays him a salary. And just as the director is not the most prominent figure when the company’s work is well-established, so with a good family relationship, most issues are resolved without involving the head of the family in a natural way.

Reasonable segregation of duties

Requirements for the head of the family are competence, leadership skills, and worldly wisdom. Unfortunately, we have to admit that few men take seriously the role of the real head of the family. A lot of them wish to be real leaders, but a few are capable of this. And the number of those who cope with this is slim to none. The best scenario is if both partners are working together. The wife manages the budget and cooking, the husband manages finances, a car, planning holidays, and repairs. If the main areas and functions are distributed, and everyone successfully solves issues on their site, then the head of the family is not very in demand, everything happens without her intervention. Everyone understands, in normal situations, the head of the family is not needed. But in difficult and regular situations, a woman makes the final decision.

Are Men Scared of Female-Led Relationships and Why?

When we talk about a strong woman, we most often imagine external attributes. Such a woman has achieved a lot in her career: she occupies a high position in a large company or runs her own business. So, she solves issues with male perseverance, if necessary, is able to do everything to achieve the goal, and she has an iron grip. In financial issues, this girl is independent and can afford anything she wants. She doesn’t need a man to be complete. But a strong man, psychologically mature and successful, is not afraid of a strong woman. Moreover: he sees at least five reasons why relationships with such a woman have excellent potential.

A strong woman is able to support a man, be open, and give real emotional closeness. With her, you can be in partnership and together go to common goals. And even if the contribution to achieving this goal is different, the efforts will necessarily be mutual.

female led relationship blog

Next to such a woman, a man goes forward and develops as his woman grows and develops on her own too. It's not that a man needs to be “faster, higher, stronger” to conquer his companion and become a leader in a couple. The woman’s internal resource charges the man with inspiration for deeds.

A man is not afraid of a strong woman: even if something happens to him, she will be able to leave on and stand up for herself. In a relationship, she does not shift responsibility for her life onto him. It gives both partners peace of mind and confidence in the future.

Intimacy with such a woman gives real pleasure. A strong woman is capable of deep relationships, her self-confidence excludes partner manipulation through sex and emotionally paying off her complexes and restrictive attitudes.

A man chooses a strong woman because the weak do not suit him. Any female-led relationship blog will prove this. Their companions are, as a rule, equally strong and powerful. A strong man cannot afford to be near an infantile girl because in this case, he stagnates.

Female-Led Relationship Advice

Today there are few men than women on the planet. And modern women are active, independent, and powerful. The usual alignment of roles has noticeably changed, and the fairer sex is no longer afraid to show initiative in a relationship. Is this good and what are the results? We will try to look at this issue through the prism of female-led relationship advice.

Awaken the instinct of the hunter in him, and then he will do everything himself

Nature has created men and women in different ways. Everything is different for them: genetic tasks, psychology, physiology. Therefore, changing the roles, according to experts, is not always a good idea. The most humble, the most uninitiated, shy, and insecure man wants to conquer his woman himself, and not be conquered by her. This law was invented by nature for all animals and then spread to humans. A woman must show that she needs a man (sometimes this is not necessary), and if he is interested, he must go to conquer the woman. It should not be too simple. There must be some small contest between the males or some kind of running around for the female, dancing in front of her, etc. So, the main power of a woman is to still wisely inspire her man.

Women's initiative should be unobtrusive

And it should consist in bringing a man to a state where he wants to be active. In no case, she should go and do everything herself. This is not about being a leader. On the contrary, a woman must entice, lead, and do it subtly. This behavior is appreciated by men, they consider it feminine. They run after such representatives of the fair sex.

A man has innate instincts (for example, success) that need to be fulfilled. If these longings are not fulfilled, then there is a void inside, which cannot be filled with comfort, family happiness, and money. One of these instincts is to win a woman over. If the instinct is not fulfilled, then the man after several weeks or months of sex with her begins to look for another woman. The initiative of a woman spoils the men themselves.

If you want to be active, then do it indirectly

A woman should learn to arouse interest in a man, draw attention to herself, provoke his actions, never do the dirty work but inspire a man so that he does it himself and feels just twice as happy. It is good for a woman to show the man that he is not indifferent to you but to do this subtly, with a hint. Arouse the instinct of the hunter in him, and then he will do everything himself. But still believe that it was he who came up with the initial idea! Men call it a female mystery. It awakens the excitement in them, the need to complete any duty of a woman they love. If the fortress is too impregnable or its siege is too long, then some men lose interest, others, on the contrary, flare up even more, others become hardened and become uncontrollable. Therefore, here you need to feel the moment and find a middle ground.

Let the man take at least some initiative

Watch his behavior, what tactics he uses, analyze his behavior: he is persistent and active, shy and calm, or doesn’t yet know what he wants from you, and shows his interest apathetically. Depending on how he behaves, you can build your behavior. If he is active, you can gladly accept his courtship, but do not rush into personal initiatives - perhaps he likes to get the girl’s attention on his own. When no initiative comes from him, decide how much you are really interested in him. Perhaps you need to wait a bit, he will take a closer look at you, and real progress will be indicated in the relationship. And maybe he just neither wants to continue these relationships nor intends to take them to a serious level, and it’s better to finish them faster.

female led relationship rules

Is It Normal to Be In a Female-Led Relationship?

The woman of the XXI century is an emancipated creature. She needs neither pity nor indulgence. She can give odds to any man. All girls want to be free and independent while saying that “real” men have died out. So, they take everything in their hands and start leading relationships.  

Many ladies believe that a man should take the leading role in a relationship. And men are also often sure that a woman can’t lead a relationship. For the older generation, brought up in other traditions, this option is also almost unacceptable – a man should be a leader in a relationship. But judging more objectively, there is nothing abnormal in the opposite case. For a number of reasons, there is a role reversal in today’s society, which is not something strange. The fact that ladies are gradually becoming more and more independent is even logical: over the past century, women’s opportunities have only increased, and it would be foolish not to use them.

Times are changing: what was relevant five years ago is no longer applicable today. Psychologists believe that such a change doesn’t carry any harm if both a man and a woman agree to this. Otherwise, problems can’t be avoided.

What to Do and What to Avoid?

Should a woman call or text first? This is also an issue of the initiative. She can do it once to find out if something happened. But doing it again is not worth it. However, many women violate this rule: they call first, unable to resist the desire to communicate, cannot show restraint. They find an excuse telling that their men are shy, hesitate to call. Women often make the mistake of thinking that a man’s passivity is caused by his shyness. This is normal only for a first meeting or when you are not close yet. But if you have been together for some time, but he continues to communicate occasionally, this means there may be other reasons. One of them is, unfortunately, that a man does not take a woman seriously.

Anyway, should someone lead a relationship?

The negative aspects of a woman’s leadership include the fact that taking responsibility on her shoulders a woman forgets about how important it is to remain a weak, defenseless, and gentle individual. A man loses his grip, feels inferior, and possibly unnecessary in such a relationship. Therefore, one should not forget to keep balance - the main factor of stability in the family.

It has been socially acceptable for centuries that the man should be the main because he is a breadwinner and strong support for his woman. As for the negative aspects of the rule of men, we can find them too. For example, the lack of sensitivity, often inherent in them, can adversely affect the course of development of your relationship. It's no secret that a tender and a sensitive girl is unlikely to endure a callous cracker. Therefore, it is very important for a man not only to be brave and strong but also not to forget that relationships will not exist without love, tenderness, care, and affection.

Summing up the topic, one thing can be said, in fact, it’s not important who is in charge but whether such a relationship suits you. If chaos and misunderstanding reigns in your family, even the most persistent and strong woman cannot keep it together.

Comments (4)



Oct 15,  2020,  8:23 AM

I think it’s not normal for a woman to lead a relationship. Women are emotional, men should always be able to react correctly to this. If you give a woman the opportunity to be a leader, I think that this relationship is doomed to failure. And in general, men were always leaders in families.



Oct 15,  2020,  8:24 AM

For me, there is nothing abnormal about this. There are different situations. Maybe the woman herself is a strong person, she is used to managing everything, and her man is not so strong but he can give his woman support and care. And maybe that’s all she needs. If both are happy with such a relationship, then why judge them?



Nov 4,  2020,  6:17 PM

Maybe I'm too stereotyped but I hold an opinion that this is a man who should take the lead in a love relationship. I have been taught from childhood that “a man is a head and a woman – a neck”. I've even seen it by means of an example of my parents. My father always took the final decision in our family, although he consulted with mom and took her opinion into account all the time. He worked more, my mother, in turn, was engaged in household chores. I can't even imagine how it could be otherwise. Maybe I'm just one of those guys who are afraid of women who take the lead in romantic relationships.



Nov 4,  2020,  6:18 PM

No wonder they say that men are the stronger sex. I totally agree with the author of this article that a woman who takes a leading role in a love relationship eventually forgets what it is like to be a weak, gracious, and gentle woman. A man should be a stone wall, reliable support and protection of his beloved woman, and not vice versa. But I’m by no means condemning such couples. This is just a judgment call. I once read that women who dominate in a relationship have high testosterone levels, which is why they often occupy male positions at work and have some masculine traits. So it's all human nature.

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