General Advice on Dating a Depressed Girl
More than half of all people, according to statistics, experienced depression at least once in their life. People of all ages and sexes suffer from this common mental condition. At some point in your life you might be dating a girl with depression. There are certain things you need to know in order to succeed and make your relationship happy. Depressed girls require you to be ready for a challenge. If you’re dating a depressed Ukrainian girl, you have all possibilities to help her and, eventually, your relationship.
What are signs of a depression as a disease?
The most common signs of depression are:
- Fatigue. A girl loses initiative, it seems to her that there is not enough energy even for small matters.
- Loss of self-confidence. Self-esteem falls, the girl loses faith in success, considers herself weak and worthless.
- Depressed mood. A depressed mood can include irritability, lethargy, despondency. The girl sees the future in dark colors.
- Loss of satisfaction. Things that used to bring pleasure have ceased to satisfy, interest in them is lost.
- Indecision, absent-mindedness. It is difficult for the girl to concentrate on activities that previously didn’t cause difficulties.
- Sleep problems. The symptom is characterized by difficulty falling asleep, restless sleep, early awakening, or increased sleepiness.
- Changes in weight, appetite. Weight may decrease significantly, and appetite disappears, or vice versa.
She May Not Think She is Depressed
You probably asked yourself how to make a depressed girl feel better? First of all don’t take 100% responsibility for her depression. People with depression require accurate approach and often disregard any help. Sometimes a girl in depression may refuse to admit she has depression. So, even though you think (or know) she has depression, it doesn’t come as clear for her. She might say things like “I’m just in a bad mood”, “I’m having a hard time”, “This is a troublesome period in my life”, “I’m just very busy”, etc. Therefore, if she thinks she is not depressed, don’t force her to think otherwise.
How to Help a Depressed Girl?
When you’re dating a girl with depression who refuses to acknowledge her problems, you should suggest her to see a psychiatrist. In other words, seek counseling. Not only psychiatrists are useful but life-coaches and training retreats as well. Speaking otherwise, you should bring in a third party – somebody or something besides you two. This should be done in order to bring a new perspective on the problem. Often a look from outside can make a significant effect bringing new and creative solution.
Sacrifice More of Your Time for Her
Depending on the intensity of her depression, it is either critical or not for her to visit a psychiatrist or seek any other kind of help. Some people battle depression alone or with the help of their close ones. The latter scenario requires you to be around all the time or as much as possible. It means that you should increase the amount of time spent together. Statistics show that depressed people are less likely to get better when they are alone. So, be ready to quit some of your meetings with friends and decline an invitation to watch a game or go to a bar. Spend this time with her. Even the fact of your presence can make her feel better because she won’t be alone that way.
Try Finding out the Reason of Her Stress
This part is very important. You together won’t be able to battle her depression unless you know what caused it in the first place. Sometimes the reason is obvious and clearly known. In other cases the cause of depression may be a mystery for a suffering person and all around her. Your role here is specifically important because finding out the cause is easier done in pair. You can notice something about her behavior which she herself ignores. Your perspective and your opinion are important because you know her and you spend time with her. For these same reasons people visit psychiatrists. A psychiatrist can notice something both of you missed.
Be Ready for Emotional Outbursts and Inadequate Behavior
Stress is not normal. A person suffering from stress makes all kind of inadequate things. A stressed girl can easily offend people without intention of doing so, scream, cry, and crash things. Speaking otherwise, she can act not like herself.
Be Patient and Caring
A girl in depression requires you to be excessively caring, patient, and kind. Let’s say you’re already caring, patient, and kind. Then, double your effort and be twice as caring, patient, and kind. Yes, this may sound as too demanding but for a time being you should forget about yourself almost completely when you’re dating a girl with depression.
Don’t Quit Easily
When a girl is depressed, she feels helpless, guilty, and ashamed. She can experience anger, jealousy, irritation, and fear without reasons. Her emotional health is under attack. She may lose her confidence or faith in people. She can start to hate herself and all around her. It is difficult to be around a person with these problems. Therefore, don’t just run away if you’re already involved. Try your hardest. There is no guarantee your best help will be useful for her. If you did everything in your power and did not achieve success, state an ultimatum: visiting a psychiatrist or breaking up. Dating counselors say it may be harsh but useful.
Change Your Background and Quit Your Routine
Dating a depressed girl may require you to significantly change your routine. Psychologists say that changing the background may be very useful for people struggling with depression. Traveling is the most widespread decision here but both of you can also change your apartment or house, work hours, profession, etc. It all depends on how much a depressed girl suffers. Traveling can be a very effective distraction. Learning new things and trying new experiences are commonly credited as very good ways to battle stress.
Try changing your routine by reorganizing your schedule. Try new things yourself and advise the girl you date to do the same. Start with small things. For example, change usual breakfast with breakfast in bed or try cooking at home instead of eating out in the evening. Go to a museum instead of going to a cinema. Visit a master-class or play tennis, ride a bicycle, etc. These activities can put more drive and dynamics into your relationship which could significantly decrease the level of stress your girl experiences.
Helping a Depressed Girl: Is It Necessary and How to Help Her?
Helping a depressed girl is absolutely necessary. You simply can’t just date her and ignore her problems. This is unacceptable. If you’re dating a depressed girl, you automatically become involved in her life. That means you are responsible for her emotional health and should do everything in your power to decrease her suffering.
Wondering how to help a depressed girl, you probably thought about what you should do. The list of recommendations given above can definitely help you. However, what you should keep in mind is the fact that only with her own effort a depressed girl can say “bye” to her depression. It doesn’t mean that your help is not needed or that it is not significant. It means that your task is to help her help herself. You should push her in the right direction but the final effort is all hers.
Use Your Sexual Life to Battle Stress
Pay attention to sex. Sexual pleasure is a source of dopamine and endorphins. Usually, during stress people either ignore their sex life or skip it altogether. Being her dating partner, you should make sex as perfect as possible. Be a giver and give her some credit because it is she who suffers. Surely, you suffer as well because you’re her partner. Nevertheless, you should forget about yourself for a little time.
Be creative and reorganize your sex life like your reorganized your schedule. For example, replace evening sexual intercourse with sex at daytime or in the morning. Try new positions in order to make your sexual life more diverse. Remember these two words: originality and creativity. Try using sex toys or make love in places other than your or her home. Use candles, music, and sexy underwear. The benefits of diverse, intense, original, and creative sexual intercourse can make her forget about her problems at least for some time.
Meet New People
Depending on her social attitude and approach to communication, try meeting new people. Sometimes it is really exciting to talk to random strangers in a bar or at a party in order to distract yourself. Remember that being alone is something a stressed person should never do. Many people claim that loneliness itself is a reason of their stress. So, go out there with your girlfriend and be social.
Communicate with others and learn from them. Keep in mind that stress is not an original problem. Every second person suffers from stress. Share with somebody when it is appropriate and urge your stressed girlfriend to do the same when meeting new people.
Highlight the Importance of Family
If only her family itself is not the reason she is stressed, remind her to stay in touch with her parents and/or other relatives. Her mother and father (if they’re alive and well) know her best and can help her in any possible way. Statistics show that most of emotionally healthy people keep close a contact with their family members.
Urge Her to be Confident and Don’t Disappoint Her
It is really difficult not to disappoint somebody who is stressed. Often, a stressed person can be offended without any reasons. Therefore, don’t disappoint her. When she offends you, ignore it. She may do it intentionally but she does it because she is stressed. So, be patient and don’t get offended.
Treat Her Right
At every possible occasion try building up her confidence. Begin by simply complimenting her success in any little thing. Be twice as thankful for anything she does. Treat her like a child because a stressed person gets frustrated very easily. Her mood can change very quickly so don’t be angry. Always stay compassionate and understanding. Approach her with love and care. Make her little gifts and treat her. Your care can significantly reduce her stress.
Forget About Your Problems and Worries for Some Time
Even though you yourself are not depressed, you have problems to deal with like any other human being. You also need care and comfort. If you’re dating a girl who is stressed, forget about solving your problems with her help. If she is stressed, her problems are bigger. Therefore, pretend you don’t have any problems in front of her. Otherwise, she would think that you’re an egoist who only thinks about himself. Be a man and deal with your problems on your own or in a way that doesn’t involve your stressed girlfriend.
Main mistakes of dating someone with severe depression
What mistakes to avoid dating someone with severe depression?
No need to pretend that nothing is happening
How to help your girlfriend with depression? Depression is a disease. It is not always possible to understand the causes of its occurrence, but one thing is for sure: any disease must be treated. You shouldn’t pressure a girl and force her to go to the doctor, but you must definitely say something like: “Listen, I think you feel bad. And I think you need to visit a specialist. I believe you can handle it!”
Don’t say that everything is fine
You should never say to a depressed girl: “Hey, it’s okay! Let’s have some fun!” and even more so offer to drink alcohol to “relax”. After all, the main reason for depression lies in the fact that a girl sees the world in black colors and can’t look at problems with different eyes.
Don’t evoke vivid experiences
How to make a depressed girl happy? Well, it is not easy. Communication with a depressed girl should be of low intensity. Only slow walking, calm conversation, social acceptance: the girl needs to be told how good she is, that you feel good with her, and how much you love her.
How to Talk to a Depressed Girl
So, what to say to a girl with depression? The main advice here is to stay positive. You should be optimistic, positive, and enthusiastic all the time. Yes, this is a challenge. But the reward is the recovery of your girlfriend for which she will be eternally grateful.
Never ever scream at a person in stress. Screaming never does any good. Moreover, don’t even talk loudly. Psychologists say that any loud noises act as irritators. A person in stress is especially vulnerable to such irritators. Therefore, keep your voice down and never shout.
What to say to a depressed girl is just as important as how you say it. Tell her she is beautiful and pay her compliments whenever you can. Still, stay moderate, so she won’t notice you’re doing it on purpose. One of the most important recommendations is to never bring her any bad news. She simply can’t handle them. Bad news of any kind will make her feel worse. She will connect them to everything else bad that is happening to her and become obsessed with how awful her life is.
All in all, now you know what to do to make your girlfriend feel better. Follow the advice and be ready for a challenge. Your kindness will be rewarded. Good luck!
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- Is it possible that a girl doesn’t understand that she is depressed?
- Yes, it happens. Many people think that they just have a difficult period in life or a bad mood.
- What is the best way to help a girl if she is depressed and what can not be done?
- It will be perfect if you are always close to her and support her. But don’t try to quickly bring her out of this state by drinking alcohol in a club, for example. Such methods will not help.