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ttracting a single woman older than you isn’t that difficult, but you need to understand that the approach to communicating with her, as well as your own behavior, is different than when dealing with girls of your age. As a rule, mature ladies are independent and confident, so you should act accordingly. We’ll tell you how to attract older women with words and what to do to turn them on.

how to attract older women

Pros and cons of older women dating


  • Young men are attracted to older women primarily by psychological flexibility: a mature lady no longer counts on the fact that someone owes her something - she is an equal partner.
  • At the same time, she knows male psychology very well, at the right time she is ready to lend a shoulder, support not only morally, but also financially.
  • An older woman can close her eyes to some flaws.
  • Often a man chooses an older woman not only for her money, bt connections, and social status.


  • Marrying a man who is much younger puts a certain amount of pressure on a woman.
  • If a man, despite his young age, has leadership qualities, he will strive for leadership in relationships and this may cause problems.
  • Plans for the future. Huge difficulties await a couple if they have a different view of the future together.

What to say to attract an older woman

The first thing you need to know is that mature ladies seek communication. Show that you’re an interesting communicator who can keep a conversation going. If you know what your companion’s interested in, talk about it. If she’s over 40, feel free to discuss music, art, politics, or literature with her. If the woman’s much older than you, don’t talk about your friends and your common interests unless she asks. If you’re still a student, talking about your college life can bring back nostalgic memories and make her remember that she’s older than you. That’s not the outcome you want.

Jokes will break the ice

If you don’t know how to attract an older woman, you can easily overcome the communication barrier with a good joke and friendly conversation. After all, women fall in love through their ears, even mature ones. So keep a few funny stories in stock (make sure they’re not dirty, though), and do your best to show that you’re an upbeat guy. Deep inside, older ladies are practically no different from the younger girls. Sure, your companion may be a bit more restrained compared to your peers, but she’s more serious and responsible, more experienced, and more interesting at the same time, but even she won’t resist your sense of humor.

Don’t talk about your past relationships

Keep in mind that any woman, regardless of age, wants to feel special. So no talks about your ex-girlfriends: they’re not worth mentioning, especially when there’s an experienced and mature woman sitting next to you. Instead, you can talk about work, your personal successes, plans, or achievements. Your companion should know that you’re not some immature guy but a serious young man with ambitions.

Don’t lie to her but don’t be too honest either

You don’t have to be a macho man when attracting an older woman. Be yourself. But when she asks what your hobbies are, don’t tell that you love lying on the couch watching TV even if it’s true. Always say that you’re busy with something. This will make you a much more interesting companion. Avoid phrases like: “How about giving me your number?” Try to say something like: “I'd like to meet with you again. Mind if ask your number?” This approach always gives better results, as in this case, a simple ‘no’ will sound pretty silly.

why do some men attract older women

Ask questions

How to attract older women in their 40’s? Get to know them better. The only way to do it is to ask questions and show that you’re actually interested in your partner. Plus, it will show that you’re mature enough to understand that listening to a woman is important. Such trait is highly appreciated by mature ladies, as young girls rarely notice the lack of interest, while an older companion will never allow her partner to ignore her. Besides, genuine interest will bring you closer. Ask her about her goals and interests. Find out how she sees herself in the future (if she’s under 40). Asking questions, you’ll reach two key points: you’ll show that you’re really interested in her and who she is, and you’ll also learn more about her. This will help you determine if she’s the one you’re looking for. But don’t overdo it with questions; otherwise, she may get the feeling that you’re interrogating her.

Now that you know what to say to attract an older woman, it's time see how to arouse her.

How to attract an older woman sexually

When dealing with women older than you, there’s one big advantage: if you want to get her into your bed, you can tell her about it directly. It turns them on. But don’t be rude. If you’ve been dating for a while, and everything’s going well, don’t hide your intentions. Tell her that you find her attractive and would like to spend the night with her. Keep close contact, make compliments, and soon she’ll invite you to her place.

An experienced woman should clearly understand your intentions. Before you take her home or go to her, she should know that you want her, and she wants the same. Self-confidence plays a huge role here. Don’t show your desire by saying something like: “Would you like to sleep with me?” Mature ladies don’t like questions when talking about sex.

Be the one who’s in control

Despite that your partner is older than you, and she may expect you to fulfill her demands, she’ll appreciate you being a leader in bed. Take the situation under your control from the very beginning. Kiss her, open the bottle of wine and take her to the bedroom. Even if you let her do what she wants, don’t give her full control over you; otherwise, you’ll seem inexperienced. Oh, and one more thing: if you want to learn how to attract an older woman sexually, you should first learn how to open a bottle of wine. Maybe it seems unimportant to you, but such minor detail can play a decisive role during a romantic evening.

Don’t overdo it with compliments

Sure, you’re probably pretty excited being tete-a-tete with a mature woman, but stay focused. Tell her that she looks great and her body’s perfect, and that will be enough. No need in saying that she’s the best, and you’re lucky to be with her. This will make you look like a young boy, and we can say for sure that this will turn her off. A woman wants you to treat her as your equal because she’s not a goddess. Excessive flattery will only emphasize your age difference.

Make her want more

Why do some men attract older women? They know how to keep them interested. After you spend the night together, don’t tell your companion that it was the best night of your life. Just say that you’ll call her later and do it in a couple of days. Stay cool and forget that you’re ten (or more) years younger than your lover, and everything will go smoothly. If you tell her that you’re busy and your schedule is tight, but you’d like her to adjust to it, she’ll be happy to do it.

Dating profile to attract older women

When it comes to online dating, there’s no significant difference between mature ladies and younger ones. Stick to this guide, and you’ll have no problem attracting older women.

Make your profile humble but honest

There’s no need in pretending to be someone you’re not. Such things as bad habits, your age, or hobbies are important details you don't need to lie about. Mature women don’t like being fooled. Besides, your companion will probably find out the truth if you meet, and some ladies don’t mind going on a date with a college student or a heavy smoker.

But you still need to watch what you write about yourself. For example, it’s better to keep silent about your failed relationship or the doubts that you'll ever forget your first love. Save such minor details for later when you’re both ready to talk about your past (if this moment comes). Keep spirits high and focus on what you’re looking for instead of what you don't want. Don’t write “Weirdoes and whiners need not apply.” A phrase, like “I'm looking for an upbeat and emotionally stable companion” sounds much better.

Pick the right photos

Your profile photo is what really matters when attracting older females online. As a younger man seeking a mature partner, you need to be sure your gallery attracts attention. You’re handsome and young, so let others see it. And to do that, you need to know what pics to post. There are a few types of photos that should be in your profile.

how to attract a woman older than you
  • A picture of you being active. Next time you go out with your buddies to play basketball or whatever game you prefer, be sure to take a couple of snapshots in the process. Such photos show that you love all kinds of activities, which means you’re in good shape. Apart from that, these pics tell that you enjoy having fun with friends, which makes you an interesting person.
  • A photo of you in a suit. We don’t even need to explain this one. A young man plus suit equals incredibly attractive young man. If attracting an older woman is your goal, then you should have at least one photo of you in a suit. Suits make guys look much sexier and more serious at the same time (given that they don’t look ridiculous in them).
  • A picture of you smiling. There’s no better way to show that you’re an easy-going guy than posting a pic of you laughing or smiling. Mature women don’t care about men with dull or too serious faces. They see a lot of them among their peers. Looking at your smiling mug, a mature lady sees a guy that will be fun to date.

Make sure there’s no one else on your photos

Although this may seem obvious to you, it’s still worth saying that posting a photo of you standing right next to your ex is a very bad idea. It’s hard to tell why, but a lot of guys post pictures with someone else apart from them. First of all, group pics are confusing, no matter whom you’re trying to attract to your profile. When a girl looks at her potential match’s profile for the first time, seeing three guys on the main picture, she has to figure out who’s the profile’s owner.

But that’s not all. When talking about attracting an older woman, there’s no bigger turn-off than a photo of you with some girl. Last thing she needs is a reminder that she’s not that young anymore. She’ll never return to your profile. Avoid this mistake and post photos of you and no one else.

Bottom line

Experienced women look for men who are able to solve their problems independently and have their own plans and interests. When chatting with an older companion, talk more about your favorite activities, hobbies, goals you want to achieve, that kind of thing. If you keep talking about your friends and loved ones, a woman might think that you simply don’t have a personal life. And once this thought comes to her mind, she’ll immediately lose interest.

You don’t have to be a skilled lover to know how to attract a woman older than you. Keeping everything under control will be enough, so don’t rush things. Older women enjoy the process itself. If you really feel that you’re not experienced enough, but you still want to attract a mature lady, it’s better to start with girls of your own age. Gaining a bit of practice before dealing with women older than you is a nice idea.

Why trying to date an older woman?
1. They don't like extra drama so you can be spared of excessive scandals and arguments usually appeared from nothing. 
2. They know what they want. An older woman will always be straightforward and honest with you.
3. She is experienced.
Do older women like younger men?
Strong young bodies, an endless fountain of energy, ambitiousness and fresh vision, cheerfulness - these are the main features older women seek in younger men. So yes, there are many mature ladies who are attracted to young guys. Moreover, some of them are even more attractive than young girls!

Comments (3)



Jul 22,  2020,  11:17 AM

A wise woman (despite her greater life experience) should obey her man even if she is older. If she is not ready for this, the relationship will quickly fizzle out.



Nov 4,  2020,  7:06 PM

Older women are more willing to build long-term romantic relationships. I like the fact that they can be a true life partner for a beloved man, and not just depend on him and his salary like young ladies. These are mature, self-sufficing women who know how to behave with the opposite sex. They do not make scenes, throw temper tantrums, and raise stinks out of the blue. To say more, they are really experienced and interesting interlocutors – they can even teach you a lot. This is why I want to start relationships with a woman who is older than me. I hope your advice will help me, I will definitely take them into account!



Nov 4,  2020,  7:07 PM

I also love older women. I have been dating a lady 7 years older than me already for 2 years. We match each other perfectly well, and I feel that this is exactly the woman with whom I want to build a family. I even plan to propose to her in the near future. Our relationship began in a very romantic way. We met at a resort in France, I saw her on the beach and I really liked her. Her slim figure especially grabbed my attention (yes, despite the fact that she is older than me, she has a beautiful body). According to my beloved, she was attracted by my self-confidence. So guys, develop self-belief and don't be afraid to approach women you like!

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