05.10.2020

People see social awkwardness as a weakness, but it may not be right. Lack of sociability can mean something else. Small talk is never easy for such people. They cringe when it comes to contact. They enter into a conversation somewhere between religion and gender equality. They think they can talk about many other topics as well.

But when it comes to "normal" conversation or compliments, they crawl into a corner with their tail between their legs. Not to mention, their clothes don't always match their income, and they say weird things when they're worried. But being socially awkward has not only downsides, but it can also be a superpower. The benefits of being a socially awkward person are permanent qualities.

how to stop being socially awkward

Meaning of social awkwardness

If you are such a person’s partner, socially awkward dating can cause some troubles. One day they come up with the best date ideas, and the other day feels so scared they cannot go with you to a party. You cannot always understand what is going on, but you should. Educate yourself on this topic or even ask yourself, "am I socially awkward?" This mental disorder can be somehow contagious, and partners of socially awkward people can catch the anxiety.

What is social awkwardness? It is a state of the psyche and the resulting behavior of a person. The characteristic signs you are socially awkward are: fearfulness, indecision, stiffness, tension, and awkwardness in society due to self-doubt or lack of social skills. 

Possible causes of social awkwardness:

  • Having a sensitive, suppressed, and anxious thought.
  • Low need for communication.
  • Intellectual talent and, as a result, unwillingness to communicate with peers.
  • The presence of atypical personal qualities.
  • Having interests that do not correspond to people of the same gender and social status.
  • The company of interests requiring solitude (reading, computer games, programming).
  • Poor parenting role models.
  • Numerous transfers from place to place.
  • Immigration to a new country.
  • School conflicts.
  • The presence of obvious physical disabilities.
  • Some developmental problems.

Some of these causes sit deep in the unconsciousness and are challenging to deal with. Take physical disabilities, for example. They can leave a powerful imprint on a person's life. On the contrary, we all know examples of people who were not alienated from society like women seeking men online after a challenging divorce or losing their lives instead of closing inside the bubble of their problems. 

Is dating for socially awkward guys complicated? Why? 

Being socially awkward and dating are familiar aspects of life that people struggling with this disorder can combine. First of all, such people are determined. When it comes to creating, changing something, or trying to figure out mechanisms, awkward people never give up. They are committed to understand how it works and what it is actually for.

socially awkward and dating

Many awkward people are practically geniuses when it comes to life challenges, and they can spend hours, even days, trying to figure out how to solve a particular dilemma. They will not leave their partner in need and apply all their intellectual skills to help. On the other hand, this willingness to take challenges can be a problem. Many socially awkward people, unfortunately, face depression or other mental illnesses. But if there is a clear goal, combined with discipline, uncomfortable people can rise above the rest in a particular area. This is a superpower!

Dating for the socially awkward can be hard at the beginning when two people do not know each other well. When you gradually get to know a socially awkward person, they will open up to you and create the strongest bond to keep your relationship together. Since awkward people find it difficult to make contact, you might think they have very few friends and rarely meet new people. Nevertheless, awkward people make strong connections because they can see something beyond the "strange" person's social flaws. It is they who become dedicated partners despite everything that society does not accept. Love means a lot more to a socially awkward person than to anyone else because it is real and lasting.

Besides, socially awkward people bounce back faster after setbacks and difficulties. This is because such people are used to being in "unfortunate" situations due to their lack of social skills. Almost every day is a struggle for a socially awkward person, so when unpleasant things happen, they quickly and easily come to their senses. Dating for socially awkward guys can be challenging, but they will surely get over a breakup easier than mentally stable and psychologically healthy people.

How to be less socially awkward

Follow the instructions to relieve social awkwardness. Keep going if you notice the result.

Pay attention to body language.

The brain and psyche respond to body language. If you use closed poses, the mind understands this as self-doubt, you become squeezed, even if there are no psychological prerequisites.

There are some straightforward but handy tips on how to stop being socially awkward:

  • Smile often. Yes, it works. Smiling makes us relaxed and joyful.
  • Mirror the interlocutor. Repeat the actions, body position, and facial expressions of the person. Do it quietly, and after a while, you will start to find a common language.
  • Use healthy postures. You can find a large number of variations on the internet and practice them.
  • Use confident gestures. Hands in communication play a huge role for both you and your interlocutor. They convey information and also make you feel more confident.
  • Avoid fussing. What does this mean? Make as few unnecessary movements as possible. Fussy people do ten actions when only 2-3 are needed.

Challenge your thoughts

This is one of the main exercises in cognitive behavioral therapy to become aware of and challenge your emotions. When you are in society, notice the thoughts that keep jumping in your head. Write down ten similar thoughts. As a rule, the "ten" most frequent ones account for about 90% of all negative thoughts in people experiencing social awkwardness.

Learn basic etiquette and good manners

Sometimes forcing yourself to be nice is enough to overcome social awkwardness. When you know the etiquette norms, then your movements are confident, which means that order reigns in your head. If you are on your own in society, society also reacts accordingly and accepts you as lonely and isolated. After all, good manners and etiquette have never gotten in the way, so you'll be a nicer person—kind words and empathy matter, especially while communicating on dating sites for socially awkward.

Realize the importance of meaningless conversations

If you've noticed social awkwardness symptoms, you've probably noticed that you only like to speak to the point. Talking about nothing is not for you. Nonetheless, vapid conversations are a great way to feel at ease and make connections. People love those who are not too "annoying" in the discussion, who make them relax and laugh.

According to communication expert Dr. Carol Fleming, small talk has three parts: anchor, revelation, and encouragement. When you are anchored, you share a "shared reality," your personal experiences with your interlocutor. It will be enough to say about the taste of the dish at the party and give an opinion about it. In revelation, you complement the information used in the anchor by moving the dialogue forward. For example, you say that you are a cook or that you usually don't eat meat. On the other hand, encouragement is often a question or phrase that the other person will accurately comment on. "What can you say about this dish?"

Show interest and ask questions

Socially awkward people are usually passive. They are so afraid to enter into dialogue with others that they don't even try. It would help if you were proactive. Walk up to the person and start asking open questions. Show interest and listen when they answer. You should not be distracted by the phone and your thoughts, be here and now with this person.

How to date a socially awkward person and make the best of these relationships. 

Socially awkward people dating healthy ones often do not notice how hard it is for their partners to read their mind and adapt to constant mood swings. Awkward dating is a challenge, so here is some advice for you to deal with such a person.

awkward dating

Awkward people appreciate simple things

They don't feel social pressure or the need for social gatherings. That's how their personality works. They don't panic when it comes to getting other people's attention, and they don't want to be the center of attention. Socially awkward people are more than happy to live quiet lives, watching movies, and reading books at their leisure. You should understand this and move together at their pace.

Awkward people see things differently

The way society as a whole is very different from how awkward people see it. They look at everything from an opposite angle, and they can notice details that others miss. They see the big picture by exploring what matters in serious situations. The "normal" state of life is foreign to an awkward person. When something they say or do seems odd to you, try to step into their shoes and get to the core of such behavior.

Just listen

Anxiety must not be hushed up. You may well ask how it reflects on their thoughts and behavior. If you notice that your socially awkward partner stays silent about something, kindly ask them to open to you and trust your skills. But do not tell them the answers. Listen to what they have to say. Many people lack support and acceptance. Convince them that they are not alone and that you love them.

Ask about triggers

It is essential to understand what brings them into a state of anxiety and how to avoid it. Ask when everything has become serious, what helps them get out of an unpleasant situation, and personally help. If they do not like crowds and noisy meetings, there is no other way for you to stay together than avoid going to loud parties.

Don't be afraid of their emotions

In moments when they are overwhelmed with anxiety, they can sob, scream, regularly talk about the same thing. Please don't panic and don't make the situation worse: they are already afraid that they scared you with an unexpected reaction. Please take a deep breath, remember that they are scared and in pain, provide moral support.

As you can see, being socially awkward isn't a weakness. It's a superpower in many aspects. Socially awkward people may fail and forget their name, but they have skills that surpass everything else. So be kind to socially awkward people. Let's learn to appreciate everyone for their differences.

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