Couples in which a man is much older than a woman is a subject of increased public interest. Such lovers are escorted by sidelong glances, rejoicing at a new topic for discussion. About a man, everything is more or less clear: who does not want to be next to a twenty-year-old beauty? But what guides a woman, why does she need such an alliance? Love or money?
Why Younger Women Seek Older Men?
In the modern world, relationships often arise between a young girl and an adult man. At first, such an alliance is beneficial to both parties. A woman gains stability and confidence, and a man asserts himself, there is a feeling of a second youth. But, if it's real love, then is it important how old you are? Let's try to understand the situation from the point of view of psychology.
Why Do Younger Women Fall in Love with Older Men?
So, you want to meet a younger woman seeks older men, what should you know about her intentions? You must understand that the age difference between partners up to 10 years is normal, the difference of around 20 years is also quite natural. If a girl is attracted to men older than 40 years or more, then, in this case, it will be difficult to talk about true love. Not infrequently, a large difference indicates the calculation (material or moral) and the benefit for the woman. Indeed, love between the sexes includes not only mutual understanding but also sex, and a healthy spontaneous passion with a person over 60 is a rare case.
An adult man and a young girl are a couple that attracts the attention of the public. What else does a woman need? Of course, be in the spotlight. The basic natural instinct of the female sex is the continuation of the family, and stability and confidence in the future are required for the birth and upbringing of children. Therefore, an affair with an adult man becomes attractive. After all, he has already experienced rapid growth and, as it seems to the girl, is ready to create a family.
The psychology of relations in such couples often develops on the basis of the “daughter-father” principle, she is a little girl, and he is a protector, teacher, and warrior. This position is extremely attractive for infantile persons whose childhood passed under the total control of the father, then the choice of spouse becomes obvious. In addition, young girls love adult men because of their intellectual development and experience. He knows what he wants to receive from life and how to achieve it. This self-confidence in older men attracts young girls. Girls also like mature partners due to the fact that relations are built not only on sex but also on interesting conversations, from the older generation you can draw knowledge and the same experience.
Younger Women & Older Men - Things to Know
Sigmund Freud said that parents become the prototypes of the partners we choose. Boys fall in love with girls similar to moms, girls fall in love with men similar to dads.
Women, in this case, want their men to be guardians. Here’s a thing about young women dating older men. Many women instinctively look for older men because, in childhood, they received less fatherly love, care, and attention.
There are many options, but perhaps they were not told in childhood, "I love you" or "You are my princess." Or maybe the woman grew up in an incomplete family, where for some reason, there was no father. Another sad story is when the father was physically present, but he was emotionally absent. A vivid example is alcoholism. You cannot rely on such a father and get support. At the moment when he is most needed, he goes into a binge. And the girl is desperately looking for love, understanding, and care from others and most often does not find.
Fear of separation from parents. When a woman has not achieved full autonomy from her parents, she seeks to return to this relationship. She is scared to lose the parent-child relationship forever. The parental nest is comfortable, and she wants the man next to her to become a senior comrade or guardian who will provide financially and help morally. Such a woman cannot (and more often does not want) solve financial issues independently and feels uncomfortable without support. She is very afraid of loneliness.
Family scenarios. On an unconscious level, children are given birth-style scenarios of life that are reproduced from generation to generation. A vivid example is when all women in the family are unlucky with their husbands: they drink, beat, or gamble, but their hands are “golden.” And women endure, raise children, and pass this scenario on to their daughters.
Inequality. A man chooses a younger woman also for a reason. Such relationships are often based on inequality because the parent and the child are, by definition, unequal. The flip side of security and comfort is the dominance of men, in which women have to sacrifice their own "I," push it into the background. A man can consider a woman as material from which he sculpts an ideal partner. He can be bored with constant instruction and moralizing. Considering himself to be more experienced and wise, he will single-handedly make important decisions for both.
Getting along with such a person is very difficult. Especially if he is jealous of his young and attractive wife, while he is rapidly aging. Then the desire to limit the communication of a partner with peers will be added to moralizing.
The benefits of such a relationship
At the same time, a mature man is a reliable rear, behind which a woman feels good for many reasons.
Financial benefits. Why do younger women fall in love with older men? A financially successful man is a reliable support for the family, in which a woman can do homework, hobbies, and raise children, without needing anything.
An adult man is an interesting person. An adult man is a person who has experienced and knows a lot. Of course, it is more interesting with him than with a peer who has not yet decided who he is and what he is interested in.
Emotional support and care. With age, men begin to understand women at least a little, or at least pretend. They are able to listen and support in difficult times.
Reliability. A mature man has already “walked up,” he knows what he wants. It’s not scary to start a family with him; you can rely on him.
Sexual life. Why a younger woman seeks older man? An experienced one knows how, how much, and what a woman wants, and he is not fixated on his sexual successes.
Different values and interests. Partners listened to different music in their youth, read different books, watched different films. On the one hand, this can be a problem, on the other hand, on the contrary, it strengthens interest in each other.
An unflattering comparison to previous wives and partners. There is a risk of getting caustic about culinary abilities, habits, and skills. Here the main thing is to softly but firmly make it clear who you are.
Reluctance to have children. He has children from previous marriages, and he does not want any new children. His life is rather full, he has already made offspring and wants to live for his own pleasure, while the young woman has matured for the family.
Disharmony in activities. An ideal day off for a man is at home on the couch, and the partner missed skiing. It is important to come to an agreement, find compromises, and spend leisure time both together and separately from each other. For example, one day you stay at home, the second one you spend outdoors, the third - the husband lies on the couch, and the wife goes skiing with her friend.
Chances of a lasting relationship. If the parent-child relationship suits both, the chances of keeping the couple are high. What matters is not the age difference as such, but how old each partner is. With age, we better understand who we need, learn to build relationships, discuss problems instead of slamming the door, and try to treat each other's shortcomings more condescendingly. It all depends on the emotional maturity of each partner and the desire to be together, despite the differences.
Are Age Gaps in Relationships Okay?
A significant age difference between partners does not doom the marriage to failure. It only means that both will have to make more efforts to reach an agreement.
Emotional maturity does not depend on the age in the passport.
First of all, how harmoniously the relationship will develop is affected only by the emotional maturity of partners. If two mature people who have managed to realize themselves decide to become a couple, then most likely, there is a real spiritual unity, harmony, mutual understanding, and the ability to constructively resolve conflicts and support each other. In this case, the difference in age does not matter.
What age gap is acceptable?
Does age difference affect relationships in a couple? Both yes and no.
If the age difference between partners is within 16 years, such a relationship may well be successful and lasting since both partners belong to the same generation. But if the difference is higher, it becomes a potential time bomb because in this case, it will be more and more difficult to seek mutual understanding, even if everything was wonderful at the beginning of the relationship. After all, a big difference in age often means a different view of familiar things, as well as relationships. In addition, partners may have different expectations regarding each other.
The Benefits of Dating Young Women
Men choose the young generation, focusing on the external attractiveness of the young person. Youth is certainly beautiful - it is an axiom, and it is difficult to object. The male population is looking for a carefree, mocking, and beautiful companion.
Why an older man dates a younger woman? Adult men fall in love with young girls for a number of different reasons.
To feel younger by the young girl’s side;
It attracts the attention of people around;
Lack of interest in household trifles attracts men;
Self-affirmation and a raise in self-esteem as a result of the conquest for the young girl’s heart.
These are the reasons why a man may want to start dating a much younger woman. The signs that a man fell in love are not much different at any age. As a rule, initially, sympathy arises.
Psychology is a fairly complex and subjective science. It is quite difficult to make a forecast of how relations between partners will develop. But, if there is understanding, love, trust, then it is possible that such a misalliance will last for many years.
Challenges of Dating a Young Woman
Take her seriously, not like you are in a casual relationship. Many men, when they start having an affair with young girls, behave rather inattentively. They can write once a week at two in the morning, appearing as suddenly as ghosts in horror films. This should not happen if you want your relationship to be strong and reliable. Give the girl enough attention so that she feels truly needed and desired.
No need to lead everything to sex. Of course, sex is great, but you should not make it the most important thing in a relationship, only if you do not meet a nympho. For your union to be complete, do not forget about intellectual connection and romance. Otherwise, the young girl will think that you are not interested in her because she is too young for you.
Behave as you should at your age. Do not try to act like a teenager just to make the girl be interested in you. She will not be. If she has chosen you as her partner, then she wants to communicate with you at the age at which you are now. Haven't you heard how many young girls claim that sometimes there’s nothing to talk about with guys of their age?
Let her live her life. If you choose a young girl as a partner for a relationship, be prepared for the fact that she has her own life - with a bunch of young guys, parties, career ambitions, and a hundred other reasons that it’s worth living for. Do not put pressure on her with conversations about marriage, family, children, and so on. If she wants, she will definitely accept your offer.
To be honest. As we've mentioned above, the time of immaturity and infantilism is far behind, so try to be honest with your girlfriend and yourself. If you don’t like something in a relationship, declare it boldly, just be delicate and avoid rude language. Do not be silent about how you feel and what you think about a particular situation.
How to Date a Younger Woman? Tips for Older Men
There is no reason to burry your sexual life because you are not young anymore. A half-century anniversary often becomes a boundary beyond which life changes a lot. In particular, it is believed that at this age, it is time to stop having sex.
However, experts dispelled this popular misconception. Experts believe that people stop their sexual life, not because of physiological reasons: hormones in men continue to be produced at a sufficient level, an erection is established more slowly, but it lasts longer. Psychological barriers prevent full-fledged sexual life. "In England, on average, people who are 45 years old cease to have sex ... Why? Women: have no partner as well as desire to have a new one. Men have alcoholism. An old couple takes the birth of their grandchildren as a signal that they need to stop intimate relationships," says the sociologist John Alvarez.
In society, sex after a certain age is condemned, it is believed that it harms health and reduces the quality of life of an old person. However, caring for yourself will help overcome these age-related problems. For example, women after menopause do not lose the ability to receive sexual pleasure, on the contrary, many admit that they felt their sexuality only after 60. Perhaps this is due to the experience gained and the fact that after the onset of menopause, it is not necessary to strain yourself due to fear of unwanted pregnancy.
Simple and tasty foods will help maintain and support sexual desire. It is good for men to eat nuts and seeds, as they are rich in vitamin E, which improves potency. Blackcurrant rejuvenates the body. Members of the stronger sex are recommended to eat several slices of dark chocolate a day - it has a plant hormone identical to the male one responsible for sexual arousal. It is also beneficial to eat bananas and beef - these products stimulate the production of serotonin and contribute to increased production of testosterone.
Specialists recommend women to eat products that contain phytoestrogens: plant compounds similar to the female hormone estrogen. You need to include flax seeds, oats, barley, rice, lentils, apples, pomegranates, and carrots in your diet.
And most importantly, experts recommend that older couples should not be embarrassed. Sex therapist Joanie Blank believes that you need to continue to have sex for the same reason that you need to do exercises. "Wake up your body again if it sleeps. Do it whether you want it or not," the 63-year-old expert says.
Common Rules & Tips for Men
So, you like a girl, but she is several years younger than you? Are you afraid of being convicted of dating her? If you use an intelligent approach to the situation, you can avoid unforeseen issues. Here are some things you should know about a relationship with a younger woman.
Get to know the girl better. Here’s the first of tips for dating a younger woman. You have to figure out whether or not you really want to date her, but first, you need to find out the basic facts from her life (for example, date of birth, favorite color, TV show, music, etc.)
Talk to the girl's relatives. How to date a younger girl? Ask her parents, brothers, sisters for consent. If they approve of your decision, you will not worry about dating.
Do not rush the situation! Here’s a situation about a relationship with a younger woman. If you decide to ask a girl about the possibility of a date (she will feel that you are pestering young people), she will be scared of your impulse. Try to get to know the girl better. When the time comes, invite her out. Do not say, “I love you” on your first date. This will scare her away.
Invite a girl on a date. Do not choose a romantic place. The girl will think that you are just trying to get something from her. She will either leave you or be scared. Visiting a cafe or movie theater will be enough. Choose a public place.
Lead the conversation properly. Here’s a thing that you must know if you are in love with a younger woman. If you talk about sex, you will put the girl in an awkward position. Talk about sports, television, family. Choose a general conversation topic.
Take a walk together. The girl’s house is quite suitable for this purpose. But in no case go to the bedroom! You can sit in the living room, kitchen, or lounge. Soft sofas are not suitable for starting communication. Wait for the girl to feel comfortable in your presence.
Take your time to get a kiss! Here’s the final thing you should know about dating a girl younger than you. While the girl is too young, the kiss may seem strange and frightening to her, as she lacks experience. If you still kiss the girl, do not do it every minute.
Be careful while dating young women
Focus on your goal. Do not go out with other girls if you already have a girlfriend. The girl will need time to survive negative emotions, and she will never pay attention to you again.
Do not behave like a mature and adult man. The girl will think that she is too young, and she will feel awkward in your presence. She will leave you for her peer. Speak on topics suitable for the girl's age.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the opinions of others do not matter (teasing, insulting). If you really like a girl, the opinion of others does not matter.
If you have known each other before, dating will not be embarrassing.
If you feel that the girl is not ready to meet your friends, wait. First, it’s better to meet her friends. This moment will help the girl get comfortable with the situation.
Do not forget that the girl’s feelings are more fragile than yours. NEVER offend a girl!
During a date, be modest and unobtrusive.
Be careful when communicating with the "girl's dad." As a rule, girls' fathers take care of their little daughters. It is best to talk with the girl’s father so that he understands that you can be trusted. In addition, the girl will be more comfortable dating you.
Do not rush things.
Do not introduce the girl to your friends until you get used to the idea that you are dating her. Otherwise, you will be very embarrassed.
How to Meet Young Singles
So, now, let’s figure out how to meet these young beauties.
Through the social circles and companies that a person is a part of. You may already have some young girls that you know.
By attending public places and being socially active.
Bars and night clubs.
Volunteering. You can meet quite a lot of good and kind people doing volunteer work.
At the gym. If you are in great shape, it will be quite impressive for a young woman to see you this way at your age.
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Today we’ve discussed plenty of things related to relationships in which a woman is much younger than a man, and we hope that the new knowledge will help you in your future relationships