Betrayal on the part of a partner hurts our pride. The wound heals over time. But scars remain on the heart, and we are afraid of falling into a similar situation. These fears stop us from learning to trust someone again. Not everyone can cope with such an experience. Someone finds the strength and courage to be reborn in new relationships, learn to trust again, and love and be loved. Others decide to take a break from relationships. If you still can’t step over yourself, then in this article, we will try to help you.
Can you ever trust someone again?
Be prepared because the correct behavior after cheating will require incredible effort and courage from you. Most importantly, understand and remember that you are not to blame for this situation! Don't let your other half blame you. Even the smallest part of the responsibility is by no means yours. Cheating is never about two people. What goes before is the situation created by two people, but a single person — a cheater, always makes the last step towards treason.
You can be the perfect partner, but your significant other will still seek the best site to meet women. On the contrary, there might be a crisis between two people. In this case, they should discuss everything and part. If a cheater decides to stay in a relationship but cherish their pride using another person as an instrument, they are the root of the problem.
Drive yourself away from self-flagellation at once to improve relations after infidelity, or at least give them any chance for a successful continuation, convey to the traitor that only they are to blame. The traitor must be active and think about how to correct a psychologically tricky situation and save your love. In other words, the thought of how to trust someone again should be on the guilty person, not on you. Another critical point is that by not trying to take responsibility for yourself, you favor both of you. Since you allow the cheater to justify themselves fully, understand that the culprit cannot correctly answer your "I stopped taking care of myself." It is much easier to say, "I was wrong."
Most people say that cheating leads to a loss of trust. However, we don't even trust ourselves 100%. How to trust someone again after they hurt you? You have been betrayed and now want to establish hyper control over the partner. If you decide to let go of the situation, you should expect constant reports from the culprit.
What happens as a result of eternal suspicion and despotism on the part of the offended? The words of the culprit of the conflict about the desire to leave. Sometimes the controller is frightened, confesses guilt beyond their control, promises to start trusting, but cannot change the attitude. A cheated partner often continues, suffering and offending the “forgiven.” Can you ever trust someone again? Yes, but the correct behavior after infidelity for those truly focused on maintaining a healthy family and normal relationships should be completely different.
Main components of trust in relationships
A beloved partner is not just your friend that will listen to everything you share. A specific romantic element should always exist between you, which prevents you from sharing all your secrets. You should protect each other and complain to your friends as one of the ways to relax. By and large, your partner is a protector and reliable support. Trusting them is vital, so you should decide what components of the presented below are of the most significant importance.
Trust means being confident in the stability of the relationship. It is a powerful feeling that brings calmness. There are no closer people in the world than a married couple. They don't just live together. They build their world. Holding hands tightly, they walk through life, confident in themselves and each other. When you don’t trust a person, you don’t know what to expect from them at every subsequent moment. And such uncertainty scares, fetters you, forces you to continually strain and be vigilant so as not to become a victim of someone's unpredictability.
Inside a stable family, people do not interrogate each other with passion for the delay after work. They call and warn their beloved about the changed plans for the evening. They do it respectfully, with an apology, and not every day. A harmonious union is built only on honest relationships.
Jealousy is not a manifestation of love but an elementary expression of the fear of being abandoned. The subconscious dictates the fear of being alone. This creates many obstacles to the development of a harmonious union based on complete trust in each other. Living with a jealous woman turns into a real torture.
Ability to rely
Trust is the unshakable belief in someone's honesty, decency, integrity, and loyalty. The one we trust is predictable for us to a certain extent. We know what to expect from them within the framework of the agreement or hopes we place on this person. When we trust a person, we are confident in our expectations, and this confidence gives us strength, makes us bolder, contributes to our activity.
No laws can replace the benefits of trust because laws are based on violence, and faith is based on the honesty and decency of people and their rationality. Indeed, it is beneficial to conduct business in most cases and build relationships on trust and not on laws. Sometimes we confuse the concepts of "trust" and "expectation.” When people get married, they invent future scenarios in their heads. When things don't go according to plan, they get offended. How to trust someone again in a relationship? Learn to live without expectations.
How to trust someone again in a relationship
- To build a healthy relationship, you have to work hard on yourself. Understand that your partner is a free person, not property. You can learn to trust by doing the following: stop tagging everyone with labels: “all men are goats,” “I don’t believe my wife,” “I know that they only want one thing from me.” With such a position, building normal relations is merely impossible. Here are some tips to help you on your way to trying to trust again.
Dot all the I’s
In every person's life, betrayal seems to be a disaster. Emotions at the limit, sharpened hearing, and a kind of war begins. Such events do not happen by themselves; they do not come out of nowhere. Things happen for a reason; you have to dig deeper to clarify the situation. Was there something that needed attention but was ignored instead? Talk to your partner. Clear things out.
Do not look for hidden subtext in a cheater's actions
Do not think that your partner gives presents to make amends for treason. Excessive suspiciousness will force you to look for a catch in any of their actions. Nailed the shelf — it means they have done something. Doesn't speak to you in the morning — it means your beloved hides something. There is always another reason for what is happening, absolutely not connected with an attempt to deceive.
Do not control every step of your lover
It is incredibly unpleasant and impolite to look into their phone, read conversation, or browse pages they are subscribed to on social networks without permission. Curiosity is not a vice, but there are other ways to satisfy it. For example, talk, ask, and listen to the explanation.
Accept help from them, even if you don't need it
A person who typically rarely desires to participate in household chores now wants to cook dinner — let them do it. Helping you with anything is a sign of attention and appreciation. Yes, they feel their guilt and try to make up for what happened. Ask yourself, “how to make someone trust you again?” Wouldn’t you act the same?
Do not criticize or nag for failures
In modern realities, in principle, it is not customary to get personal. In a relationship, the absence of criticism is the key to a normal relationship. There are no universal ways to teach trust. If a person does not trust, then they are always waiting for a catch. This person is in constant tension, as if "on edge.” In this state, any conversation can end in scandal and end relationships.
Other useful methods can also be:
- refusal to watch soap operas and series about love triangles;
- termination of communication with "toxic" friends, who, in the course of a conversation, draw into the discussion of other people's problems and try to impose their own opinion about the infidelity of everyone;
- rejection of suspicious inventions and trusting only in facts.
Neither you nor your partner can change the past
You have every right to feel resentment, disappointment, anger, but is it worth attaching such great importance to the fact from the "old life"? Not to notice the charm of today and excellent prospects ahead, remaining in captivity of your fears? The only thing in our power is not to focus on the past but to learn how to trust someone again after lying. Trust after a partner’s infidelity requires a lengthy recovery period. You won't be in a rush to play football after breaking your leg, will you? Small but firm steps are needed to change the relationship format.
Can you make your partner trust you again after you hurt them?
Recovering trust is often much more complicated than earning it. The reason is apparent — after betrayal and deception, wounds form in the soul, and negative thoughts appear in the head, which a deceived, and devoted person will feel and remember for a very long time. Rebuilding trust is challenging for both. A partner who faces cheating also asks themselves, “how to trust someone again after cheating?” Therefore, to regain their trust, it is necessary to relieve this person of the pain and fear that protect them from repeated deception. You need to replace all their negative feelings and thoughts with new, even stronger thoughts and feelings. Let's see how you can do this.
In some cases, it is necessary to fully open up to the person whose trust you want to regain to show them your weaknesses that they could use against you. These steps will show the offended partner that you depend on their honesty as much as they rely on yours. And if you betray them, then in revenge, they will be able to cause you serious harm. This approach to restoring trust is similar to military parity in which people are forced to trust each other. How to get someone to trust you again? Perhaps you will say that such trust is not entirely correct because people do not trust each other so much as they have to depend on each other and are even afraid. Maybe so. But in some situations, only this approach allows you to achieve a positive result. So, keep it in mind.