The relationship is not always about having fun. Sometimes you need to make certain decisions. It includes your basic behavior, approach to your partner etc. Another important issue is to choose the right time to say “I love you”. It is not only about articulating words, but also about a profound impact on your relationship. How soon is too soon to say these words? There are several sides to this question. Our Ukrainian dating site full of single women up to a small research and ready to talk about it in details.
Frankly speaking, there is no actual date that would be perfect for saying these words aloud. Sometimes it can be the first month of dating, occasionally it happens after two years of strong relationships. Every case has a subjective tone. What does make sense in this particular case is your love assurance itself. What you need to do before saying “I love you” to your partner is to sit down and diligently think about your feelings. As well, try figuring out if your partner feels the same. We have a quote from a woman who talks about her ex-husband:
- " We got married when I was 19 and I married him knowing that I did not love him. Later on, I was discussing my ex-man with my current husband and he asked me why I ever even told my ex that I loved him. All I could say was that he said it first and it seemed like the nice thing to say in response. "
This is a nice example of what should never be done! Lying to yourself is the same absurdity as lying to your husband (especially in this case). It often happens that you cannot understand your feelings. When your partner comes up with this beautiful confession, you just do not want to hurt her and decide to answer in a reciprocal manner. In addition, there are indications that gender differences play a part: men tend to confess love earlier than women do. Therefore, men are happier than women when receiving confessions of love from a partner. According to one survey, men take an average of 88 days to tell a partner, "I love you," compared to a woman's languid 134. Moreover, 39 percent of men say "I love you" within the first month of dating someone, compared to just 23 percent of women. We cannot prove that these men are not being honest and not assured about their feelings. However, men often use I-love-you phrase to comfort their partners. Women tend to understand this concession as a proof of a true love, which is not always true. A misunderstood man usually would not understand that it was his fault.
Love grows at the differnet pace in all of us. While it is true that profound romantic flourishing involves mutual loving attitudes, this does not mean that you should hide your love, just because your beloved is not as in love with you as you are with her. You should be honest, open about your attitude, and give your girl the time she needs for feelings toward you to develop into deep love. The development might be gradual. It might reveal itself in "softer," more indirect expressions of love, such as calling you "My love," or saying, "I send you my love," or, "I love what I see in you," until, finally, the direct declaration, "I love you," might be spoken.
Likewise, think of some deeds that might demonstrate your love. The phrase is not enough, and they are not always true (as we decided few paragraphs before). Depicting your love is easy: a small bouquet of lilac without any reason, breakfast in bed, a romantic stroll with her hand in your hand. Use your imagination.
Why Is It Sometimes Hard to Say “I Love You”?
When did you first say out loud “I love you”? And when did you hear such a confession yourself? You can remember these moments as clearly as you do the moment of your first kiss, or you can completely forget the day when you first confessed your love to someone. Some of us find it terribly difficult to say that we love, to voice this kind of feeling. What is the reason for the possible fluctuations? It seems that many of us are afraid to say the cherished phrase out loud out of ordinary fear.
Fear of responsibility
For some people, “I love you” is not just three words, and they are not ready to promise what they are afraid to offer. The more this phrase means to the partner of the person “fearful of responsibility,” the less likely the latter will ever use it. Yes, it is quite possible that this is love, but due to the fear of the corresponding obligations, the person simply doesn’t voice their feelings. One can only guess why people are afraid of responsibility. When we make a choice, we exclude other options, and the lack of choice also causes fear and a feeling of limitedness, despite the love we have for our chosen ones.
Fear of attachment
For some people, accepting love means accepting that they need another person. And to agree with such a vulnerability to the chosen one is akin to losing control over your life. Many people have got used to living on their own and are not ready for such a responsibility because they see emotional attachment as a heavy burden.
Fear of being rejected
Of course, most of the time we are afraid to confess our love because of an extremely strong fear called lack of reciprocity. Love is like a swing. It's easy to build a relationship with someone who cares more about you from the start, but relationships only develop when there is a balance between what partners give and what they receive.
Fear of being hurt
Loving someone is almost like leaving a part of the heart unprotected, and hence the fear of confessing love also comes from it. When we open up to someone, we seem to be deprived of one of the levels of emotional protection, and therefore we are weak. Moreover, we experience much more if our feelings are hurt by those who have become our “weakness” than if the pain is caused by other people who are less important to us.
Lack of a role model
Maybe you have never had a good example of the tenderness that should be present in relationships between partners, family members or close friends? Perhaps you are just rarely told that you are loved? Or did you grow up in a family where actions, not just three insignificant words, were the only “love currency”?
If you have already said that you love your girl, but she is not there yet with the answer, look attentive at her behavior. The confession is a significant moment that often changes development vectors of the relationship, so her actions might have been changed recently. If you feel that she becomes estranged, then you should probably stop waiting for a positive answer. A girl might reconsider their opinion and try to leave you without hurting.
Nevertheless, the main things you need to think of are depth and flourishing, not timing and frequency. It does not matter who says “I love you” first. Only thing that matters is the profundity of your relationship. It takes time for a partnership to grow over into love. So no need to rush.