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In some countries, the topic of sex is somehow avoided. Not that Germans, or Russians, or Swedes do not like sex, of course, they do. But the constant cold and all this dullness due to the long and difficult winter makes people closed, shackled, more concerned about survival issues than sex and other sensual pleasures. Therefore, for the Northern Europeans, a live program is more important than sex. It is typical for a woman in her 35 to think more about her career, children, a house, a man who will be her reliable partner. And this is the very reason why couples with an age difference are quite rare. A woman needs a real partner and like-minded person, and according to a common cliché, such a partner should be from the same age category rather than someone younger.

dating cougar tips

But in other countries, for example, in Italy, couples consisting of the cougars' women and younger men are a common thing. You can often see them on the street. And such single women seeking single men should not necessarily be rich, and the young man is not a toy for her. These are full-fledged couples with complete reciprocity. Because, despite all this Catholic system, Italians know how to enjoy life. And how to have quality sex.

Now there is a new generation of women who provide themselves and just date men they like. No fear of age difference. Of course, we all have our own concerns, but this ageism is going to be a past phenomenon very soon. In general, a typical younger man dating a cougar, to be honest, does not even feel any difference in age. So, if people look happy, that's wonderful. In this article, we are going to shed light on the most common stereotypes concerning dating cougar woman and will explain how to win a heart of such ladies.

How to Know If a Woman Is a Cougar

If you want to meet single ladies who are cougars, you will need to know some of their most vivid attributes to distinguish women who like dating younger men from regular ladies. Here are a couple of signs you may deal with a cougar.

Determine her age. Sometimes women invest the majority of their savings into beauty procedures to always look young and fresh. For this reason, you cannot always tell for sure how old the woman is. In this case, you may have to straightforwardly ask her about it if you see that she already flirts with you. The main risk of this situation is that the woman can get offended and rejects you, but if she sincerely answers your question, you will know how to act and whether this woman falls into the category of the older women seeking younger men. Another trick is to obtain the information about her age using some general questions, you can talk about films, events of the last decades, her study and interest and make a conclusion based on this.

Look at her makeup. No matter how hard women try to hide the signs of their age, the face will speak for itself. Under a thick layer of foundation and behind a perfect winged eyeliner you can still tell what age the person is. And another thing concerning appearance is that cougars love looking after themselves and putting on makeup, it is a whole ritual for them. If an older woman looks like a bombshell, it might be a sign she is open to communication and wants to stay beautiful to attract the representatives of the opposite sex (those from the younger age category in particular).

Forget about style stereotypes. In the 21st century, it is not wise to judge people based on their style of clothing. Modern fashion tendencies dictate the complete mixture of styles and full freedom in choosing outfits. That is why older women do not longer have to wear long skirts or stick to something modest in choosing clothes. They can wear the latest trends or elegant dresses so professionally that you will never be able to tell how old they are. So, a man dating cougar can expect his beloved to look stylish because clothes are no longer a matter of age.

Cougars are very confident. What is the most striking feature of these women is their inner energy. The life experience can be seen in every move, word, and action of a cougar. She knows what she seeks in life and radiates confidence from within. This is probably what attracts men and makes them wonder where to pick up older women. Basically, they hand out at the same spots as any other single women but even in the dark of a night club, you will be able to tell this woman from others based on her fierce behavior and openness to communication. If you plan to pick up cougar from the bar, everything you need to do is to find an appropriate place, full of older women open for dating and make the first step. Then they will do the rest of the job for you.

how to pick up older women

Why Do Younger Men Like Older Women?

Men tend to look for development opportunities. Usually, in such couples, a woman is not necessarily very rich or influential, but she has reached some peaks, is confident, strong, pragmatic and active. She takes a closer look at her partner, she is more experienced and no longer “fights” but cooperates with her beloved. It's not only about comfort and submission but also about how good it is to live with a person who is sensitive to your desires and moods. If a man is not stupid, he will use these relationships for self-development. Worse is the situation with a man who was a victim of improper upbringing, then he might be looking for some kind of a substitute of his mother when dating cougar, he wants someone who would take care of him. Such a couple will not be able to have a long relationship. So, what are the main reasons behind the decision of a man to date an older woman?

The financial component. Men love adult women for their independence in every sense. They do not argue if a man does not call during the day. They do not need to be constantly entertained and will require an adequate amount of attention. They do not try to limit men's freedom since a man is more comfortable having a relationship with a woman who has her own interesting life. It's no secret that young girls seek in older partners financial benefits. They love gifts and courtesies for which men should seek funds. An adult woman, as a rule, no longer needs financial support, and vice versa, she can provide it. A mature lady with a younger boyfriend does not allow herself to look bad, she visits cosmetologists, beauty treatments, and goes in for sports because she can afford it too.

Intuition. Over the years, women develop a special sense of feeling the slightest changes in a male mood and for this reason, you do not need to come up with excuses for them. If you want to go fishing, then say it directly, and an adult self-independent woman will fully understand you. Mature women, according to the psychologist, often more clearly understand their aspirations and needs. Therefore, they let a man know if they are interested in his attention and are not inclined to play tedious games, one day allowing the man to get closer and then pushing him away. And if a twenty-year-old girl can drive a man into a frenzy with her coquetry, then a mature woman is unlikely to waste her time and time of a man, but she will directly declare her feelings or their absence. And men really appreciate such directness and honesty in cougar women.

Restraint. A mature woman will no longer star scandals for any reason. She remembers very well that men hate such scenes. Cougars will refrain from clarifying the relationship. Their priorities are crisp and clear, past throwings have been long left behind. As a rule, a cougar is a woman with higher education and a profitable profession who does not want to stop there. Such a woman has a huge diversity of interests, hobbies, a large vocabulary, the young man near her will not feel bored or ashamed at events. Mature women are less dependent on the opinions of their friends and relatives. They are able to make decisions on their own and do not seek the approval of friends. They are self-confident and self-sufficient. They do not waste time talking idle and meaningless relationships.

Mindset. Since relationships are not only about sex but also about communication, adult women compared to their young female competitors, win as they can support almost any topic of conversation. With her experience, an adult woman easily solves life problems. She will never be a burden for a man younger than herself, but, on the contrary, will become a true partner for him. It is more interesting to spend time with adult women. They have a more refined taste and diverse interests. They have already safely passed that "wild" phase when they wanted to spend all evening on the dance floor and constantly be in the spotlight. Mature women are able to enjoy good music, performance, it is not a shame to introduce her to friends and relatives.

Sexual experience. It is probably unnecessary to say that a mature woman is much more experienced in bed games and knows how to feel pleasure not only herself but also to give it to her partner. The older lady, feeling relaxed in bed, is ready for sexual experiments, gives the green light to the courageous desires of a partner. Her main goal is the pleasure of a lover. If you ask men what they like best in mature women, most will not hesitate to say – their behavior in bed. Mature women are wonderful lovers. It is a fact. They are not shy about their bodies and their desires; they know how to please a man.

Broad outlook

Experience and maturity come with age; that is why we often tend to consult with an older person when figuring out most of our problems. These women know it all. They probably have been in similar curious situations and can give a youngster priceless knowledge, something he can apply in everyday life. They know much more than a younger woman and have something to offer when it comes to experience. Talking to a cougar often means she has a broader outlook than a younger girl. For someone who only starts dating older women, this can be a cultural shock. You will like exploring something exciting and new every day. 


Young women, so as young men, often try to understand what they like and what they don’t like. Who do they want to date, where do they want to work? Young years are give for experiments and knowing your perspectives. Cougars and older women have gone through that stage, so they already know what they want. These women usually make decisions quicker than younger girls. They definitely know what they like in men and want from life. A cougar won’t spend time with people who are not beneficial or are toxic because she knows her worth. 


If you grew up as different generations, the experience from your childhood and teen years would look like parallel universes. That is why talking to a cougar will give you the chance to broaden your mind. She will teach you something a younger woman can’t physically do because she wasn’t present (or alive) at that time. 

It is a great opportunity to broaden your horizons and cross the borders of your reality, even if it’s just for the conversation. Her experience will help you get through different stages of your life. She is especially a priceless friend during a transitional time: a new job, bying your new house, and many other stuff. 

Is It Harder to Attract Cougars or Young Girls?

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In general, those are usually females who prefer mature partners. So, learning how to pick up older women is rather a new skill for the society. There are a lot of dating cougar tips because yes, dealing with an older woman will be harder as long as there will be the prejudices concerning the age gap relationship. To win a heart of a cougar, you need to be calmer in actions, get rid of impulsiveness (although some older women lack this trait), convince the girl that your feelings for her are deep and that she really owns a special place in your heart. Remember, any woman, regardless of age, wants to be one and only. No talk about ex-girlfriends: you have long forgotten about them, and it’s not suitable for a real gentleman to talk about his amorous affairs.

Pay more attention to conversations about work, talk about your professional successes, plans, and achievements, the woman should understand that she deals with a serious young man who can be relied on. True, do not overdo it with laudatory odes since "show-offs" are more likely to repel than vice versa. Look after your appearance, it must be neat and tidy. Use a good perfume - women are very greedy for different pleasant smells. In a conversation, do not forget to pay more attention to your companion, take an interest in her life, hobbies, plans, etc. By the way, a common hobby is a huge plus. If your girlfriend loves dancing, you can also enroll in a dance group, so you will have a great opportunity to see her and communicate more often.

And then - just talk to her about what place she takes in your life, as you understand it. If your girlfriend suddenly starts talking, then shut up and listen. Tell her about your sympathy and offer to meet. Be persistent but unobtrusive, do not mumble, be confident in yourself! Hold your head high with dignity, let her know that you are a smart guy and with perspective! Because in this aspect, dealing with older women is harder, you will not be able to charm them with empty words and not grounded talks, here you will have to work and think many steps in advance.

Why Are They Looking for Younger Guys?

A man dating a mature woman does not always pursue material benefits but wants to gain confidence in his future and mental support from a more experienced mentor. In an age gap couple, women clearly understand their goals too. They don’t have a vague idea, like “I want something, but I don’t know what exactly.” She acts according to a clear plan and understands well what she needs to achieve with a particular partner. It happens that adult ladies are attracted to a young guy only because they seek sex and often in such couples, the main component becomes an intimate life full of variety and bright colors, as female sexuality is known to develop at a slightly older age compared to males. If a woman has intuitively dreamed of dramatic changes for many years, like a new style, hobbies then this is her great chance to try a whole new life, and, in the end, realize that she was used to living not to the fullest.

Couples where the man is younger than the woman leave everyday routine in the background, preventing it from taking the most important place in their love (as this position is usually owned by sex).

Problems You Can Come Across When Dating A Cougar

Cougars love younger men, but that doesn’t mean an older woman will tolerate any behavior from a youngster just because he is cute and resembles her son. These are the problems you can come across when dating a cougar:

They have self-worth and self-respect

It might seem like an utterly positive quality, but if you just want to “get it” and move on after a cultural experience, an older woman will throw you into a dumpster and stomp on your self-esteem like an exterminator on a cockroach. Tricks you apply to younger women definitely won’t work with older ladies because they don’t react to manipulation. They have gone through tough love in their twenties, so playing a bad boy will look ridiculous. You might be a rebellious teenage child who is “going through a phase.” And while some cougars might find your manipulation cute because they cut your motives to a core, the majority of women won’t even spend their time on your tricks and more to a more mentally stable person.

They don’t need broke men

Although mature women can afford to have a broke student boyfriend, some of them won’t agree to become your sugar momma. Women still want to be treated like queens, and since her needs get more regal with years, it will be harder to spoil this woman. Sometimes the pay gap will annoy or embarrass you, especially if you are going for a long run. Mature women usually prefer younger men with a thick wallet because not everyone wants to become a sugar momma and find herself a child. 

They are too experienced

Older women know many things just because they lived longer and have gone through many situations in life that required street smarts. And if you are fresh as a daisy, your experience in life can be cute to her, but it can also be annoying if you don’t know how to pay rent or invest in business. This woman doesn’t need a dumb puppy, but a grown-up and a smart man. 

dating cougar woman

Main Tips to Attract Older Women

As we have already mentioned, dealing with mature women is a real art and approaching them, you have to be aware of certain tricks. These pieces of advice will help you not only conquer women interested in a long-term serious relationship with a younger partner but will show how to pick up older women that are not cougars.

Be confident. Confidence is manifested in your words, and even more in actions. She should hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes, feel in your movements. In a sense, your behavior tells her, “I am the man you need. I intend to make you become mine.” She will immediately feel it, even without words.

Although there are always obstacles in life, to learn how to pick up a cougar, do not allow yourself to focus on negativity. Instead, take pride in what you are successful. Let a woman you are attracted to have no reason to look for someone else. If you are tormented by uncertainty and jealousy, you will only push her away from you. You will surely lose every chance of building a healthy relationship. So, stop worrying about other men.

There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, more successful than you. If you think about these people all the time, you will never be satisfied with yourself. And if you are not happy, you will not have the resources to make her happy. Even if a cougar gives you very little time, it’s still a kind of manifestation of interest. Be confident in yourself and use what is given to you.

It is about respect. Men often forget that women should not be treated as "their girlfriends." They are personalities in the first place and deserve a different attitude. The first rule: never swear when near her, do not say offensive words, this is disgusting. Would you really want someone to talk like this with your daughter?

Hold the door in front of her, help her take a seat at the table, sliding the chair. Do not build the relationships on sex if you have serious intentions but show a woman that she is important to you, not just a sex object. Opening each other at an intimate level is one of the most exciting components of the relationship as a whole. You are creating a bond that will nourish your passion. And then sex is no longer just sex, but something much more. She is encouraged by the fact that she is shown such respect, and her desire will only be stronger. But sex is just one of the components, respect in everyday life is much more exciting.

Be an interesting individual. Intelligence is the most powerful weapon in your arsenal and therefore, the brain should be the sexiest part of your body. Try to learn something new every day, deepen your knowledge in the area that interests your beloved and ask her for advice as to the more experienced ones, she will appreciate it. When she becomes a part of your life, you can dream together, make plans, come up with your future life and implement your ideas into reality. Fill your conversation with meaning. Talk about what motivates and inspires you.

Of course, you can attract someone with an appearance or a solid bank account, but you can conquer the soul only with your personality.

The psychologist name three main problems that cougar couples usually face. The first of them is connected with prejudices from society. And, as a rule, negativity does not come from outsiders, unfortunately, the source of it is the closest people, the family. Even though the sexual cycle of women is longer than the male one, problems with sex cannot be avoided if the partner of the young man is already over 50. But no one is protected against problems with intimate life in general. As for biology, then everything can be solved. Children can always be adopted, and modern cosmetology and plastic surgery work wonders in rejuvenating. A modern 50-year-old well-groomed woman can look stunningly beautiful, and there are many such examples.

And, of course, there are problems concerned with the couple themselves. If the age difference is large, then the so-called “cultural code” gap will certainly appear. There are different books and films that you were raised on, different jokes, and interests. During the first year, you are not likely to notice this: because hormones will do all the work for you. But then the work on mistakes starts.

But all these problems, the psychologist claims, are still solvable. First of all, a woman needs to stop responding to imaginary anxiety from friends, relatives, and the environment. And most importantly, to match the rhythm of life of her young chosen one. As for men, if you are ready to invest time in conquering the heart of a more experienced lady and tolerate some difficulties – do it because you will gain the endless amount of benefits in the end.

What are the features of a relationship with a cougar woman?
Psychologists note that a cougar woman may deify the young chosen one. She tries to provide him with maximum comfort in everyday life. She seeks to protect a man from problems. In this case, the man becomes weak, unable to make decisions on his own. As a result, a woman is raising a big child and is forced to endure household difficulties alone throughout her life. But a self-sufficient man will definitely resist excessive custody from the older lady.
What is the financial side of such a relationship?
The financial side can sometimes be a significant handicap. A cougar woman has already achieved a lot in life. She has everything she wants. But the financial viability of a woman can evoke a protest from a man. This leads to misunderstandings and quarrels in the couple. However, in some cases, the man is satisfied that the woman bears all the financial costs.
Can such a relationship develop into marriage?
Yes, a young man and a cougar woman still have a great chance of creating a happy and lasting relationship. Psychologists emphasize that such a union should be based primarily on spiritual closeness. But a cougar woman may worry about her attractiveness. Professionals believe that the age difference doesn’t affect the sensuality and sexual attraction of partners. It is enough that they keep themselves in excellent physical shape and are not afraid to experiment.

Comments (2)



Dec 4,  2020,  9:50 AM

Cougars are the best women if you need to go through a tough stage in your life. Coming from a personal experience, these ladies act like mothers and can provide you amazing support, share some private things that serve you a lesson, and be motherly when you need the good words.



Dec 4,  2020,  9:51 AM

I dated a cougar for two years and don’t regret a single second talking such an intelligent woman. She is an amazing interlocutor, has much more experience than you do and can talk on so many topics. Her experience in bed was one of the best things in the Universe. We had to break up because of different outlooks, but it was an awesome experience.

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