At first glance, it might seem that the first date kiss problem is relevant only to adolescents, but this is far from the case. In fact, today, many representatives of various age categories don’t know when to kiss on a first date and whether they should do that at all. There are many people of introvert type to some extent who cannot let themselves go at once but have a great desire to make a pleasant impression on the person they like. Training time for kisses on tomatoes and your reflection in the mirror has already gone. However, it doesn’t matter how old you are since a new partner will still make you worry about kiss on first date.
It’s one of the most important moments that can turn out to be the key to how your relationships will develop. Unfortunately, experience and all past achievements do not play a big role when it comes to the question whether you should kiss on the first date or not. Your compatibility with a partner, chemistry between you and a mutual desire to kiss on first date are much more important.
Why Are People So Obsessed With a Kiss on a First Date?
A kiss is one of the ways to openly express feelings or a positive attitude towards a person. Kisses can be divided into peculiar categories depending on the depth of the feelings experienced, and on the willingness to express a desire to get closer. Friendly kisses are characterized by superficiality and openness of touch. If a kiss happens between potential lovers, there is an unconscious desire not to stop the awakening passion. Kisses can have dozens of emotional shades.
Should you kiss on a first date? And why are people so obsessed with it? Well, it is difficult to express the sincerity of feelings without a kiss. Often, the most tender words are not enough to show affection. It is the contact with the lips that brings a magical sense of satisfaction.
A kiss on a first date can be timid and quick. Unpreparedness and shyness play a funny role when it comes to a kiss on the first date. Romantic women online, who are timid by nature, want a kiss, but they are afraid to seem inexperienced. Passionate natures are in a hurry to show impulsive feelings of arousal, trying to completely regain the initiative. Often partners show mutual shyness. Nonetheless, many people strive to kiss on the first date on the subconscious level. First, they want to check whether their feelings are mutual, second, they feel that a first kiss can tell a lot about a person’s temperament. The kissing technique reveals many secrets about the sexual qualities of a partner. On the first date, a person can behave quite restrained, but when the moment of kiss comes, a lot becomes clear. Deep kisses are characteristic of people with pretty big experience in intimate relationships.
Confident and persistent kisses indicate a deliberate desire to get closer to a partner. Superficial kisses provide sufficient evidence of indifference and disinterest. Passionate kisses of both partners are the basis for a long sensual relationship. Although if the girl kissed you on the cheek on the first date, then there is a chance she is not indifferent. The correct first kiss is remembered for a long time. Many people remember the amazing moments of the first tenderness during all their lives. Talking about the question, “Should I kiss on a first date?” it is impossible to reply categorically since each case is individual. It is not forbidden to show the sincerity of your feelings with a tender kiss if you want to make a woman happy.
Pros and Cons of Kissing a Woman on a First Date
Having met an amazing girl, a real man will do everything not to miss the love of his life. And, after clarifying the place and time of the meeting, each side begins to prepare for the first date. The fussiness and feelings before this event raise a lot of questions. What to wear? How to behave? What to talk about? And, of course, an eternal question that is relevant when it comes to kissing on a first date, “Do you kiss on a first date?” The topic is discussed by both girls and men, and each opinion has its supporters and opponents. How much correct and acceptable is it to kiss a stranger at your first meeting?
Pro: There is strong chemistry between you
If a strong mutual attraction is obvious, and both of you feel this unstoppable chemical reaction between you in the air, then it is worth giving it a try. Such a situation is not so common, so there are high chances that a girl will not mind ending such a wonderful pastime with a kiss, releasing tension and getting an additional dose of pleasure.
Con: You may be considered frivolous
When it comes to kissing a woman on the first date, a man should be very careful and rely not only on his intuition, feelings, and situation, but he should also watch the girl’s body language. When you are overwhelmed with passionate feelings, wishful thinking comes to the fore. You may have a crush on the girl, but she might be not ready to move on that fast and will consider you a womanizer.
Pro: You had a perfect first date
The meeting was perfect, time passed quickly, and the dialogue was interesting and lively, so you didn’t have awkward pauses. It seems both of you don’t want to end this evening and part after such a meeting, so the kiss is a completely logical and natural conclusion to the evening. In this case, you will notice at least one kiss on first date good sign, so you will know for sure that this is the best moment to do that.
Con: A girl may not be ready for such a scenario
Having decided on such an act, you might already know that you want to kiss the girl, but she may still not be able to sort out her feelings and simply cannot reciprocate the kiss. Sometimes, girls aren’t sure that the time has come to take this step, and they may have some doubts about whether you have a crush on them, or you perceive it as another short-term adventure.
Pro: You asked a girl whether she doesn’t mind a first date kiss
A kiss is something personal and intimate that we don’t give to everyone in this world. If you found out how to get a kiss on a first date or you asked the girl directly what she is thinking about it and got a positive answer, then you should definitely do that. If the girl shows you or says openly that she doesn’t mind if you kiss her at the end of such a perfect date, then it means her heart is open to new relationships, and you can safely move on, studying the object of adoration.
Con: A girl may find you too persistent or intrusive
If you have a date with a charming girl who drives you mad with her beauty, and you cannot control yourself and start behaving a bit pushy, the girl may find you too persistent or intrusive. It’s not a good foundation for the further development of relationships. So, you should keep your eyes open to realize on time that you have overdone with something, and it’s time to stop. It’s necessary to be able to understand the mood and attitude of your lady. If it turns out that you seem intrusive, a second date may not take place.
Pro: You show the whole range of emotions and feelings
A kiss is as important for every girl as an attitude towards her. Therefore, having kissed the girl, in 98% of cases, she thinks that this is her Prince Charming. Some people determine the date success by such an important thing as a goodbye kiss. If the kiss took place, and the girl reciprocated, then it was a perfect date, and you would definitely meet her again. Besides, of course, it is a way to express your feelings. This will be a chance to show your date that she is desired and evokes a whole range of pleasant emotions in you. The only question is, "Will she reciprocate your kiss?"
Con: You must be honest in your intentions
You must understand: how will the kiss affect the relationship in the future? Weigh your actions in advance, maybe you are not striving for a serious relationship or just want to commit an unconscious act. If you know beforehand that you do not like the girl, then you should not give hope with a kiss. If you neither have serious intentions, nor going to ask a girl out on a second date, nor have a crush on her, then there should be no kiss on first date. At least, it will be honest.
Having weighed all the pros and cons, you can conclude that, anyway, you should act according to circumstances. The first kiss, like the first date, is impossible to experience twice. That is why, if there is no confidence in the correctness of what is happening, then you should not force events.
You should remember that a girl is not required to reciprocate a man in return for a pleasant evening spent together. You decide on whether to kiss a girl basing on the general impression of the meeting and on the strength of the sympathy that has arisen. The first kiss, which happens by inertia, without much desire, will not bring the expected pleasure to anyone. So, if you didn’t have a very good date, you can finish it in a friendly manner.
What Do Women Say About Kiss on the First Date?
Every girl starts torturing herself with questions of proper behavior when going on a first date with a man she likes. In the modern world, intimate relationships are rapidly losing their secrecy because much is considered permissible on the first date. However, it is quite difficult to predict the subsequent development of such a relationship. Is a kiss on a first date a bad sign? First, it’s necessary to dispel several myths. Many girls are mistaken in thinking that such an act indicates frivolity. This is far from the case because a kiss on a first date rather speaks of courage and clarity of intent. It's just that it is impossible to predict which type of woman this man likes best because many prefer shy ones. Do girls expect a man to kiss them on the first date?
Well, firstly, it’s important what kind of relationship you have developed during your first date. A man should understand and feel whether a girl likes him or not, and sometimes it is not as straightforward as it may seem at first glance. Moreover, you can be mistaken in both cases. So, if you are not a particularly sensitive and empathic person, it is better to wait a bit with a kiss. However, a girl’s body language can give you some hints that will serve as a call to action, and it is better to notice them.
Besides, all women have different zones of personal space. Some girls find it easier to make any physical contact, while others have difficulty, so they need more time to trust and reveal themselves to another person. Not to mention such an intimate thing as a kiss. Therefore, this factor also needs to be considered.
So, what do girls think about it? How many dates before kiss should pass?
- “It should happen on a second or third date. It depends on the person, but you can find other ways to show your attraction at the first meeting. But I don’t know if it’s right to do this or not.”
- “If a guy does not kiss me after the first date, then he is not interested in me. I love flirting and always take advantage of opportunities. For example, to give goodbye hugs and look into the eyes, so that a guy can’t but kiss!”
- “People have strange ideas about what can and cannot be done on a first date. I do not like it. If you both want to kiss, then why not do that?!”
- “It doesn’t happen every time, but sometimes when the date goes well, I want to end this wonderful evening with a kiss. If we've met online, then usually I need more time. But if we don’t kiss on the second date, then we will not see each other again.”
- “I kiss a guy if I like him. Anyone of us can initiate a kiss.”
So, there is a category of girls for whom a kiss is an indispensable attribute of any romantic meeting, even the first one. It is all about new sensations, vivid emotions, a kind of confirmation of their attractiveness. They live with emotions, they succumb to fleeting impulses, fall in love and collect impressions. In any case, due to their romantic nature, women dream of a kiss, even having strict upbringing and possessing natural modesty.
Important Things You Should Remember About First Date Kiss
Practice shows that the assessment of the girl’s decency is not related to whether she doesn't mind a man to kiss her on the first date. If a man’s sympathy is real, and a woman is interested in him, then they both will not object to any scenario. In other words, partners will be happy if the kiss happens, but they will understand if one of them wants to slow down the process a little.
A kiss is a very gentle and important component of close contact between two people. It transfers energy and feelings, makes the heart pound and melt in the arms of a partner. But this is not so easy to achieve, you should prepare for the moment carefully so as not to mess up the end of the date.
Good place and time of the meeting, the environment and a pleasant conversation are the necessary components of a date, which should end with an excellent kiss. If you do not know what you should pay attention to, then read the article further.
It may not mean anything
A first date can become your first small holiday as a couple. It is an opportunity to get to know a new person, a chance to meet your soulmate or just make friends with someone. Do not neglect this opportunity to have a good time with the prospect of something more. Humor and positive mood are wonderful qualities that can help in any situation, so do not take first date kiss too seriously. Sometimes, people kiss at the end of the date to never meet again, so don’t hurry up to build a castle in the air.
You both should feel secure and comfortable
A security issue is among crucial ones when it comes to the first date with a stranger. To move on your acquaintance, both of you should feel secure and comfortable enough to make physical contact. Besides, a kiss is a very intimate thing, it’s like a first step towards your sexual intercourse in the future. And if partners are looking for serious relationships, then such a moment should be treated with respect and care.
Pay attention to her reaction
Before you kiss a girl, make sure that your interest is mutual. Even if you had a great dinner date, and she was smiling mysteriously all evening, do not rush! There are a few tricks to understand that a girl is ready to make close contact via a kiss. Watch carefully her reaction, and you will understand whether she is ready. For example, she doesn’t take her eyes off your lips, she plays with her hair and bites her lower lip, she allows you to come closer and doesn’t step back. The mere sign is not a "green light" and does not give you the right to hug her and kiss. But a combination of several points at once suggests an idea of mutual interest and a desire to get closer.
Don't strive for more if you are not sure she wants it
If a man decides to kiss the girl abruptly and unexpectedly, then he should be prepared for the most negative consequences. You should create the maximum comfort for the girl so that she feels safe near you. Try to keep such a distance that would speak about your interest but wouldn’t force the girl to look for escape routes. Everything should be in moderation. Persistence is a good quality if it does not verge on arrogance. It is unlikely that the girl will treat this as a sign of serious interest in her personality if the man starts unexpectedly kissing her, not considering her desire. The first kiss should be light, gentle, short-lived, so that you want to repeat it. Even if you have a crush on the girl, you shouldn’t be pushy and ignore her desire.
Your attempt to kiss her may ruin a good first date
First, you should pay efforts to create visual and emotional contact with a girl. She should feel interested, admiration not only in words but also in gaze. Also, you should pay attention to her emotional state: if she is relaxed, shows interest, does not avoid fleeting touches, then, most likely, she will not mind a kiss. However, your constant attempts to kiss her during the whole meeting, can spoil the first impression and kill the desire to go out with you on a second date. Anyway, you should better leave the first date kiss for dessert. Ideally, you should try to kiss her at the end of the date, especially if you don’t know each other well.
A gentle and modest kiss may be a good option
The first kiss should be gentle and modest, so touch her lips gently and without pressure, provide the opportunity to reciprocate. It’s not the right time and place to show off all your skills. Leave the passion for subsequent kisses in a more intimate setting. Make sure that your hands do not go below her waist, you can touch her face, neck or back. By acting calmly, you will show that you are well-mannered and respect your potential partner.
In any case, watch her mood and body language
When the talk time is coming to an end, and you have already managed to get to know each other better, you should look at her carefully, but with interest and tenderness. Keep looking and wait for her reaction. After making eye contact, it's time to touch her. Light touches will show her mood and how much she is ready to get close. Stroke her hand, shoulder, or fix her hair, if the girl smiles at you, then everything is great. If she moves away or shows discontent, then you need to stop and take a step back.
If the girl has neither removed your hand nor looked away, then she is ready for a kiss. Approach her slowly, pull her slightly towards you. Enjoy the moment. When approaching her face and lips, stop for a few seconds to give the girl the last chance to reject the kiss. If she just continues to look into your eyes and wait, then feel free to kiss!
So, How Many Dates Before Kiss?
In fact, it is practically impossible to model the development of further relationships and act only according to the plan. It is not so important how many dates will pass before the first kiss since its relevance is of much bigger importance. It is about the fact that the kiss should be desired by each partner, and it should happen on time. If you feel strong chemistry between you, then there is no need to wait for too long. However, if you see that a girl is shy and not ready for such a step, then postpone this moment for later. In this case, a second or third date would be perfect.
JaneNov 4, 2020, 3:03 PM
My God, if I’m not getting kissed on a date, I’m 100% sure that a guy is not interested in me. I like flirting, so I feel like I always take steps forward and give an opportunity for action. For example, if I come up to a man and look into his eyes, and he still does not take any action to kiss me, then I understand that the game is over. I understand that correct flirting is a half-step that gives the other person the opportunity to reciprocate. People come up with a lot of rules on the first date that look like we're living in the 1950s. If you both feel like you want to kiss on your first date, then do it! What’s the problem?
MaryNov 4, 2020, 3:06 PM
Everyone decides for themselves whether to kiss on the first date or not. It all depends on the romantic mood, relationships, spontaneity, and chance. Although people often try to get to know each other better first, to feel each other, and then there are touches, kisses, as an expression of feelings and attraction. But if you want to get to know each other as soon as possible, the so-called attachment arises from the first minutes. Then the first meeting can end with a kiss. In a relationship, there is no such thing as right or wrong. I kissed my future husband on the first date and we are still happy.