In our unpredictable and impetuous time, people rush forward without hesitation and carelessly, trying to make a career, and, at the same time, quite often forgetting about their personal happiness. However, meanwhile, they really want it. You continue to search for your soulmate in frantic haste and, finally, you meet them. Nonetheless, you find out that your soulmate is already in the relationship. This is love, and no one's to blame for being late. Especially, taking into account the fact that your soulmate loves you in return. You put aside all doubts, convincing yourself that everyone has the right to be happy and decide to become a character of a story about love triangle. It's only temporary, of course. Your soulmate promises to break up with their partner, and then your happiness will necessarily become complete and indestructible because this is true love between you. And their current relationship is just a mistake.
Therefore, you jump blindly into this relationship. As a result, you are in the love triangle relationship that exists as much as the human relationship.
What is a love triangle?
What is a love triangle? This is a combination of choice and jealousy. The person who is in the center of this love-geometric figure tries to decide with whom to be further, whether it is better to live with a new partner or to get back to the present one. Such a person tries to use a logical deduction: on one side, there is a new love, on the other side, there are time-tested, stable feelings. What to choose? Who knows how to combine old and new relationships that cannot be combined, by definition. And as a result, a person cannot have a healthy relationship with one partner or another. And ultimately, the person cannot be satisfied because when they meet with one partner, they think about the second one and vice versa. In addition, it is just impossible to avoid subconscious comparing one partner to another one, and this is generally a way to nowhere. After all, when the mind is switched on, the heart is turned off. And the fact that a person seriously tries to determine who is more important for them says, most likely, that they don’t love any of them.
Is it a love triangle or banal cheating?
Do not confuse the love triangle with classic cheating. Cheating a spouse, a person, as a rule, realizes that the new relationship is temporary, and nobody wants to change everything, it is just sex. Love triangle psychology implies that the relationship is more stable and serious, it can last long enough, from several months to several years. In addition, the husband or wife is most often in blissful ignorance as to the betrayal of their spouse. As soon as the "third party" finds out about it, it is in their power to break such relationship, and the triangle ceases to exist.
How to deal with it: love triangle advice
1. Get your head straight. If you are the creator of the triangle, then, first of all, try to realize why you need it, understand all the pros and cons of each partner. It can be a difficult task, but you should opt for one or the other of two partners, or loneliness.
2. Decide firmly that it's time to end that. End the relationship. Don’t “forget” any notebooks, pens, handkerchiefs at someone's home. You should not go back to this person anymore if you make a firm decision to leave. Do not look for reasons to call the ex-partner and to have “goodbye” sex. Try to reduce meetings and communication to zero.
3. Don't be provoked by a partner whom you have decided to leave. No tears, outburst, threats to commit suicide should become an obstacle. Explain calmly that this cannot continue any longer, that you are tired and want to leave. An adequate person will understand and accept your decision, whatever it may be.
4. Prepare your partner. Such decisions are not made spontaneously, so try to prepare your partner slowly for the future breakup. It is not necessary to talk about it openly or hint at once. Be colder in communication, refer to busyness or fatigue. Act in such a way for about a month. There is a high probability that the partner will guess your desire and will understand everything perfectly, therefore, your offer to break up will not be a big surprise.
5. Take a break. If you are a cheated partner in the love triangle, then do not immediately get depressed and think that life is over. Try to start talking to your partner, explain how painful and unpleasant it is for you, show the depth of your feelings. Just do not make a scene. You need a constructive dialog, and your further decision will depend on its outcome.
6. Try to forgive. If the partner understands you and decides to stay with you, try to forgive them. Almost everything will be forgotten over time, you should believe that everything can be good again. Everyone deserves a second chance, remember this. If there are minor quarrels, try not to remind the spouse of their past mistakes. There is a wonderful proverb, "Nobody will punish me more than I do myself." In addition, analyze your behavior, perhaps, there was your fault in some way.
7. Leave. However, if you see complete indifference to your experiences or the situation does not arise for the first time, then, perhaps, the best solution is to leave your partner. It does not matter how many years you live together with this person. If you do not like this situation very much, then to break the triangle means to break up the relationship.
8. Draw a lesson and move on. Do not try to drown your emotions in alcohol. Conversely, concentrate on family, work, friends, hobby. Do everything possible to diversify your life and forget about this situation as soon as possible.
Books and movies that can help you understand love triangles
What is a love triangle? It is a classical situation in which the husband is cheating, the wife is suffering, and the mistress is waiting for the proposal. And what about some more complex relationships? However, in the first case, there is a lot of drama, but, as they say, options are possible.
Books with love triangles:
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. The world of Emma Bovary is too perfect, there is no the depth of feeling and passion. An intelligent, handsome husband, who loves her so much, is just a part of this boring world. Emma decides to get off the road of stability and family happiness and find a true love. This is one of the best love stories that has not lost its relevance nowadays.
The Bridges of Madison County by Robert Waller. In comparison with other novels of the author, this one does not have a weird aftertaste, being a beautiful and talentedly created love story. Francesca is a wonderful mother, a housewife, a wife. She meets a traveling photographer and falls in love forever. However, she has a too strong sense of duty to leave her husband and children.
Hearts of Three by Jack London. The fascinating story of the cousins Francis and Henry Morgan, who are the descendants of the great pirate captain, and who go in search of the treasures of their legendary ancestor, and the beautiful Leoncia, who both cousins are in love with. This is an example of the most common love triangles in books.
Movies about love triangles:
Brooklyn. The story takes place in the 50's of the last century. Ellis Lacey comes to conquer New York from a small Irish village. She settles in Brooklyn. Over time, she finds not only work but also love. However, the tragic news from Ireland makes her come back home where she meets another man.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Young Americans Vicky and Cristina go to hot Barcelona to spend an unforgettable vacation. In addition to the charm of a beautiful city, the girls meet an artist Antonio. Meanwhile, it is difficult to find two more dissimilar friends: Vicky is old-fashioned, and Christina is liberated. Vicky dreams of family, and Christina is aimed to experiment. Antonio cannot choose between two beautiful single ladies. The story of three heroes is complemented by the appearance of the macho's ex-wife. This is one of the typical love triangles in movies that can help you understand the difficulty of such a situation.
Closer. Young writer Dan is in love with the stripper Alice, although he does not mind having an affair with the fashion photographer Anna. At the same time, the grim macho Larry becomes Anna's boyfriend, but he is dating with Alice. And none of them is able to understand their feelings and finally decide with whom they want to stay.
Famous love triangles in history and nowadays
There are so many famous love triangles in history that it is possible to write a separate book or even several volumes. People are not able to find their one and only at once, they prefer to date different people, learning everything the hard way.
1. Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, and Monica Lewinsky. This is one of the most sensational and famous love triangles that is remembered to this day. Despite the fact that Hilary heads the party of Democrats, no one can forget her husband’s love affair with Monica Lewinsky. There was a lot of irrefutable evidence of his cheating. Hilary acted wisely, taking the position of protecting her husband who, at that time, was the president.
2. Princess Diana, Prince Charles, and Camilla Parker. The story of Camilla and Charles had begun much earlier than Diana appeared on stage. It is rumored that the Prince agreed to marry Diana only because his feelings towards Camilla were gone. Everyone knows how it ended. Charles and Camilla are married since 2005. 10 years was enough for the dust to settle on this love triangle.
3. Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, and Soon-Yi Previn. Woody Allen lived in a civil marriage with the actress Mia Farrow for 12 years. The reason for the breakup of Allen and Farrow was the love affair of the director with the adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, whom they had previously adopted. At that time, the girl was 22 years old, and Allen was 57 years old. In 1997, Soon-Yi Previn and Woody Allen got married and adopted two girls.
4. Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie. The reason for the breakup was a love affair that started on the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," where Pitt and Angelina Jolie were partners. The result of the family drama was the divorce of Pitt and Aniston in 2005. This story allowed the manufacturers of T-shirts to make good money, developing T-shirts with the lettering “Team Aniston” and “Team Jolie.” This is one of the most famous love triangle stories.
5. Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Mila Kunis. Despite the big difference in age (15 years), Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher seemed like a perfect couple and challenged all of Hollywood. Their marriage lasted 8 years. However, Ashton Kutcher started an affair with Mila Kunis, their small affair turned into a real marriage with charming kids.