Relationships are complex, just think about all the interactions that you make with your partner every single day, it can get quite ridiculous to analyze relationships, especially including all the minor levels of interactions and the smallest of things we do every day. And thus, some things probably annoy you in your partner, and they have some things that they find annoying about you too. How can you identify these things? How can you become a better partner and not ruin your relationship? Let’s start from the basics.
10 Tiny Relationship Deal Breakers You Have to Pay Attention to
Just like we’ve said, there are some minor things that we do every single day that the people around us do not necessarily like, maybe even hate. These things can range from the way you are sipping on your coffee every single day to the way you tie your shoes before work. You would think that these things are of such insignificance, that they are not worth mentioning, no one will seriously break a relationship because of such minor inconveniences. And yeah, no one will, but these things can add up to quite a large problem that will seem to be getting worse and worse with time. Every second that isn’t being spent on figuring your problems out will only make your relationships sicker. Let’s start all the way down and talk about some small relationship issues.
Your partner reacts aggressively to your advice
The first on the list of relationship issues is aggression. This is quite an annoying problem, some of you may have already faced it at one point or another. But if you’ve never faced such an issue, then just imagine telling your partner that they should probably get a new pair of sneakers because their old ones don’t look good at this point only to get a violent reaction in response. The reasoning for such aggression can be different, you have to remember that we are all human and we all think that we are justified in actions, so don’t treat your partner’s aggression as something more than a bit of an irrational response.
This is one of the biggest relationship deal-breakers. Silence is quite often the killer of relationships. Just think of all of the relationships that eventually broke apart because of the silence of one or both partners, who weren’t able to voice their concern and displeasure at the right time. Their decision to stay silent is just a temporary fix, a band-aid on an open wound that should be treated with something serious. All of that aggression will eventually get out, and there will be hell to pay.
Spending too much/too little time together
How can a couple spend too much time together, they’re supposed to love each other and every second of their time has to be filled with joy, right? Well, no, that’s a very childish approach to human relationships. You simply must think about yourself and do the things you love in life, from the small everyday pleasures to bigger plans and goals. Otherwise, you will look back and cry because of all the time that was wasted trying to make something magical out of love, while it just hormones in our head and our instinct to procreate. Spending too little time together is a lot more obvious of an issue, how can you be a couple if you are not doing anything together and you are not spending time together? You will eventually grow apart and find yourself feeling alienated.
Only one of you does all the chores
This is especially a problem if you are a woman since a man dating a single woman will probably just assume that all the chores should fall upon your shoulders and disregard any input on his part. But this is a double-edged sword, yet another complex issue. In the case of a relationship in which a man is working full-time, and his woman is a housewife, a man gets tired after work and doesn’t want to do anything after that, he doesn’t see all the complexity of work that is associated with doing household chores. A woman has to carry this load of work and just be silent because a man will probably never be able to accept it. What can you do about it? Well, an honest conversation without any aggression or personal offenses would be a great start.
Interrupting each other
Yeah, we’ve all been through it, you came up with a decent and informative response to a question, or just an interesting thought that you wanted to share, but your partner just interrupted you. How would that make you feel? Well, of course, it is very much annoying, this is either a sign of their disinterest in the things you have to say or just an overall lack of respect and love for you.
Physical manifestations of love are just as important as those rather spiritual or psychological, whichever way you would prefer to call them. Just imagine a relationship without kissing, hugging, touching, and, most importantly, sex. Lack of sex in a relationship is a very big issue, but the lack of kissing should not be disregarded as a small issue. This is the most basic sign of love, affection, and care. Lack of kissing in a relationship is a sign of sickness, it is an issue that has to be resolved, the sooner – the better. Why are you afraid of kissing your partner? And even if you are not afraid of doing it, why is there no kissing in your relationships? You don’t love your partner anymore? You are missing something? You don’t feel an urge to do so? There is an underlying problem that has to be addressed.
Avoiding serious discussions
Let’s talk about some serious problems. Inability to talk about serious issues is a minor issue with potentially tragic consequences. Why is it a minor issue? Well, because there is always a small chance that everything will be fixed by itself. You may not talk about an issue, but you may realize that it exists, and you will eventually adapt to the needs of your partner, everything may get resolved by itself. But there is a chance that it won’t, and there can be some tragic consequences to such a minor issue. You may lose your partner altogether, you may ruin your relationship, silence is the death of relationships, and your inability to discuss all the big issues that poison it will be the downfall of your union.
Being not punctual
Let’s slow down a bit and talk about time. Just imagine a scenario, you are going on a date with your partner. You have arrived just in time, but there is no trace of them, they eventually arrive twenty-thirty minutes late and don’t give you a good excuse for their absence. What would that tell you? They are either not serious about a relationship with you, or they are not punctual at all. The first scenario is quite damaging, why would anyone continue a relationship in this case? The latter scenario is a bit easier to tolerate, but it can still be quite annoying.
You don't arrange date nights anymore
Being late is a big issue that will tell your partner of your low level of interest in your relationships, but what if you can’t be late… there are no dates to be late for. A lack of dates is probably worse than the lack of kissing in a relationship, kissing is just a manifestation of love, lack of dates is a clear indicator that there is no love in the first place. It is a deep-rooted problem that needs to be addressed. Even if your partner is a very busy person – you two will eventually get used to not spending time together, and what’s the point of you two being together in such a scenario?
Trying to change each other
The last on the list of relationship deal breakers is your attempts to change your partner. This is one of the most widespread issues that people face in relationships. This doesn’t seem to be an issue that is bound to a certain stage in a relationship, it can occur at just one month into it, or around five or six years into a relationship. To change, a person has to come to a conclusion themselves, this is, most likely, the only way a person can change, but it requires a lot of time and commitment. Trying to adapt a partner to your needs and desires is just ignorance, nothing more, nothing less.
5 Phrases That Can Ruin Your Relationship
How to ruin a relationship? If you want to ruin your relationships, then being annoying and having small irritating quirks is not the only way to do it, you can also try to use some verbal provocations and awful phrases. To be a bit more serious, you should not try to ruin a relationship with a clear intent to cause pain or to waste one’s time. There will never be a good reason to do any intentional harm to a partner, there are so many ways they can cause you pain without even realizing it or trying to do it. It just happens, you didn’t address all of your issues, and then you find yourself at each other’s throats.
1. "I told you so"
Whenever something bad happens that was previously discussed between you two, don’t you think for a second that the best way of reacting to it would be to point out that you were right all along. How many times you were wrong in such situations? How many times did your partner’s decision turn out to be a better one? Well, you will never remember that, but there will always be a desire to assert intellectual dominance, this is an issue that you will have to battle inside of your head. Support your partner, don’t be their enemy.
2. "Unlike you, I..."
The same as the previous phrase, but it is not bound to a certain situation. Trying to assert your dominance over a partner in any way is an easy way to either ruin or poison a relationship. A person that makes all the decisions is always under the constant pressure, and to tell that they are not competent at it is the worst way of responding to failures and missteps. Is there any acceptable situation, in which you can say this phrase? Well, maybe only in a joking manner.
3. "Why can't you be like..."
Trying to compare your partner to someone and telling that they are simply worse than that person is telling them that they suck. Why are you in a relationship with a person if you tell them this phrase? “Why can’t you be like Josh, he is so strong, and he cares about his wife?” Well, why are we in a relationship again?
4. "I'm fine..."
One of the biggest relationship problems is being silent. This is the opposite side of the coin that is the verbal component of relationships. Telling your partner that they suck, and there is someone better than them, whether it’s you or your neighbor, is awful. But yet another way of ruining a relationship is to be silent, to tell your partner that everything is fine, while it’s just the opposite. Why are people so afraid of addressing the issues that poison their relationships? Well, it’s probably because they are afraid of being misunderstood, and they think that everything can be just fixed by itself, time will heal all the wounds. But this is not true, issues must be addressed.
5. "There's nothing to talk about"
Once again, a terrible way to address a state of a relationship. By pretending that everything is fine – your partner will probably trust you in that, and then discover that you were frustrated all of this time in a giant outburst of rage and pain. Now that we are done with the small deal breakers in a relationship and bad phrases, let’s talk about some big relationship troubles and figure out how to fix a relationship.
5 Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate in Love Relationships
We’ve already discussed some of the smallest issues in a relationship that can have a large negative effect on your relationship, and we’ve already listed some of the phrases that should be avoided at all cost in a relationship. But what about some bigger issues. What about some behavior that will eventually ruin your relationship?
I mean, how can a relationship that is built on contempt even exist? I mean, war is a relationship, not a romantic one, but still, contempt would be fitting in such a scenario. I can’t imagine anything healthy that can come out from a relationship that is built around hatred and contempt for each other, like, the only reason why such a couple is still together is either for the sake of children or because they are too lazy to improve their own lives. If you feel like there is no future in your relationships, and you would like to move forward with your life, then be sure to check out this single ladies gallery, don’t waste your time!
Cheating is a hard thing to discuss, mainly because there are a lot of ways one cheat on their partner, some of these ways are more destructive than others. But the worst thing about it is that people may have very different perceptions of these actions. Some may think of an act of cheating as a way to get over on their partner, a way to get revenge. Others fulfill their sexual fantasies that were never “addressed” by their partners by having sex with someone else. Some may even perceive it as a way of improving a relationship, just a short fix, a one-time deal that will satisfy a partner.
Emotional and physical abuse
There are lots of types of cheating, there are also different types of abuse. Physical abuse is quite straight forward, one of the partners gets physically abused by their significant other. But emotional abuse can be quite as devastating, and there are a lot of subtypes of this way of abusing a person. There is belittling, discounting, opposing, denying, undermining, interrupting, gaslighting, etc.
Lying is never a great way to strengthen a relationship. It is never a great thing to lie to your partner since small lies end up causing big issues and lying becomes one’s second nature. And when lying becomes normal – there is no coming back.
Pursuing your own goals is a very destructive thing in a relationship. Just like we’ve already mentioned, forgetting about your personal goals and desires is a very bad thing, one should not lose themselves in a relationship and then find themselves lost. But the other side of this conflict is that getting too obsessed and focused on your own goals and desires will end up alienating your partner. Love should be mutually emotionally profitable to both partners. Both partners should end up feeling better in a relationship than outside of it.
Is there any way to make a relationship simple? I am not sure, maybe that is the ultimate key to a successful relationship, just making it feel natural and easy, but it is a lot easier and more logical to work on a relationship. There are so many things that will eventually blow up in a giant explosion that has to be addressed in time to save a relationship. Today we’ve listed the most prominent issues that ruin people’s relationships, and we hope that you will learn a thing or two from this article. If you don’t want to find yourself thinking, “I ruined my relationship,” then make do.